Burn Baby, Burn…

I’ve been having the most awful time with heartburn or acid reflux disease as it is known in the trade. It has been downright painful. I’ve been eating Tums like candy. Dad just called me and said he called Dr. Kamath for a prescription of Prilosec for me. I am about to drive down to the pharmacy and pick it up. We are having the weirdest weather today. It is 74° degrees with wind gusts up to 35 mph. It feels likes like a blustery spring day. This usually forebodes bad weather which I think is on the way.

Blood Makes Noise…

I could hear my blood ringing and rushing around my ears on the drive to my appointment in Opelika. Is it perceived or real? I do not know. I know it happens when I get under a lot of stress.

We signed in and had to fill out countless medical forms and the receptionist needed my ID and insurance information and cards. Just then, Dr. Edwards, my former psychiatrist, walked by with a cup of delicious smelling coffee in his hands.

“Dr. Edwards!” I exclaimed. “Are you still my psychiatrist?”

“Y’all are next after one more appointment,” he told me.

I was elated and let it be known. He smiled and probably thought, “Yes, this one needs to be medicated”. My father was thrilled as well and shook his fists in the air in a celebratory fashion.

He refilled my prescriptions and we don’t have to come back for 6 months.

Dad and I moseyed on over to Hardee’s and got two steak biscuits and one sausage biscuit – always a pleasure on such trips to the doctor.

Almost a Requiem for Risperdal...

I called my father to remind him my injection was due in the morning. He profusely thanked me for remembering.

"I forgot all about it," he said.

He pulled the next appointment card out of his wallet to make sure and it is in the morning.

"Call Angie and have her go ahead and fill the prescription today," I told my father. "That way I won't have to wait in the morning. I'll be ready to roll."

Dad said he would do that as soon as he got off the phone with me.

Dad then changed the subject to my medications.

"Are you taking your medications?" he asked.

"I take them everyday noon and nine," I replied.

"Let me have them back," dad said. "It is just worrying the shit out of me. You seem to be struggling."

"I cut out Benadryl," I told him. "I also cut my Cokes from six to two a day. I am also on a diet and you know how I love to eat. Certainly, I am struggling. I've got a lot on my plate right now."

"Well, I just worry about you. I just want to make sure you are okay," my father said acquiescing some. "You're sure you are taking your medications?"

I reassured him and hit home the point that I would be batshit crazy without them in a couple of weeks. That seemed to placate him for the time being. I was about at the point that I was going to tell him that if he took my medications out of my control that I wasn't going to take them anymore. Thankfully, it didn't come to that.

Achy and Creaky Bones...

I'm getting old. I will be 46 years old this coming April. I woke up again with an extremely sore and stiff neck. I am using a much stiffer and supportive pillow (a pillow Charlie bought for me) and it helps immensely, but it is still not perfect. I know I need to go to the doctor, but I dread waiting in those lobbies for a visit. It always piques my anxiety. My time is valuable, too!

Groceries Were a No Go...

I waved off grocery buying again last night.

"Whatever you want to do," Old Fuss and Feathers told me last night surprisingly.

He was busy watching Jeopardy at the time. I thought he would deride me and try and coerce me into going. I said we will go Wednesday night. Dad insists on going around 9 PM which is almost too late for me. I was just dead tired and exhausted when 7 PM rolled around last night and I went to bed after calling my father. I went fast asleep in an instance and slept another 9 or 10 hours overnight. It was wonderful.

Now Where Did that Darn Dog Go?

I couldn't find the Magster this morning. I looked in every room and finally found her laying in the most unlikely place. In the kitchen on the cold kitchen floor. I laughed and chuckled. She was waiting for me to start breakfast. I toasted some leftover biscuits, fixed a pot of cheese grits, and fried the last of my bacon. My grits were especially creamy, cheesy, and buttery this morning -- wholesome stick to your ribs kind of food.

Fireside Naps...

More quiet time was had yesterday afternoon. My father was gone all day getting medical tests inflicted upon him, the poor soul. He had triple bypass heart surgery about a decade ago and they were checking his heart and his arteries with an ultrasound and then a stress test on his heart. He came out with flying colors. I was very relieved. I didn't want to hear the word surgery once again.

"Chuck? You can come and get your Cokes and smokes now," my father said over the phone about five in the afternoon.

I was relieved to hear his voice. I got in the car to drive over and Old Fuss and Feathers met me at the door already in his pajamas and housecoat.

Dad got in his recliner and I stretched out on his brown suede leather couch next to the gas heater. We were both quiet and content with the silence. The heater felt wonderful on this very chilly day. Sam was laying on the floor in front of it basking in its warmth. I call it kitty crack and my father laughs. We didn't talk much and I thanked the ethos he didn't turn that raucous and infernal television on. I told my father I had quiet time as well the previous evening.

I dozed off and awoke to a darkened den. My father was asleep in his recliner. It was getting close to 6 PM and darkness was fast encroaching upon the land. I don't like to drive at night in the dark so that was my cue to head on home.

"Call me at 8:30 in the morning to make sure I am up," I told my father as I was stepping out the door.

"That's right! Your injection is in the morning!" dad said excitedly giving me accolades for remembering.

My father wrote himself a note to call me and put it on the kitchen counter next to the toaster oven.

Wrestling Control...

It is hard to believe I am 45, right? So much of my life is handled and controlled.

Yesterday was almost the hardest day in my life with a mental illness that I had ever experienced -- going thirty hours from my last dosage of Crazy Meds. I was in sheer agony and misery to put it lightly. I vowed to work on getting my medications back in my hands. I am going to ask my father if I can keep my medications and he can check every night to see if I have taken them. It is a long shot, but I am going to put this plan into motion in the next few days or so when I can catch my father in a good mood.

Brainstorm...  I do have control of my Medicare parts A, B, and D cards. Maybe I could get my own doctor, pharmacist, etc. Those would be fighting words with my father. though. Let's hope we can handle this with a little more panache and diplomacy.

¿Te gusta martes mexicano?

Yes, it is Mexican night. Mrs. Sandra keeps picking up my mother since she fell into the bushes at the restaurant on that fateful pharmaceutical-fueled night many weeks ago. It is amazing she made it home without an accident. Mrs. Sandra always laughs and has a superbly good temperament about it all as she always has.

Mom called me about an hour ago. I was lying asleep at 2:30 PM with Maggie by my side. Don't ask me why. I must've been tired I guess. Maggie was certainly enjoying this little escape from our lives. I've kinda had some depression going on with me, but I haven't talked about it much online or with my family.

"Are you alive? I am bringing your usual," mom said after several missed calls.. "Is fajitas fine?"

"Sounds delicious to me," I replied to my mother as I thanked her in turn.

Last week fajitas's were really good so I hope we have a good repeat of last Tuesday.

Weirdville Week...

I have also came down with a very nasty urinary tract infection yesterday. I felt as if I was urinating pins and needles.

"You know it is very odd for a man to have a urinary tract infection," my father told me accusingly.

My father also called me early this morning that Dr. Kamath called me in some medicine to the pharmacy that should help me.

"I'll bring it to you tonight," my father told me over the phone.

Momma Borrowed My Namesake Tonight and that is "Shaky"...

https://www.erowid.org

"Mom, you don't need to be driving like this," I sternly told my mother in exasperation. "I am going to drive you home after we finish with this."

She grabbed my arm in senior fashion as I helped her amble across my front yard.

"But your daddy will find that suspicious!" mom exclaimed.

"Well, it surely is better than me getting a call from the police telling me you've been in an accident or had harmed someone else in the process. What would dad say then?"

"I guess you are right," my mother said finally giving in and huffing like a petulant teenager.

The Secretary had to come inside carrying my Mexican Meal and she also brought Maggie's flea treatment and her heartworm chewies. Maggie also got some Vienna sausages for being such a good girl and taking all her medicine. Giving Maggie her medications has been a colossal struggle for years until a kind blog reader diverted my attention to those pill pockets at Petco which are made out of smoky tasting peanut butter.

"How many pills did you take tonight?" I asked. "Now, be honest with me. You can't bullshit a bullshitter."

She said 3 alprazolam, but I, Andrew, can take 3 Clonopin and feel perfectly fine. She took way more pills than that.

Say Goodnight Gracie...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/

"Say goodnight Gracie," our dear Gracie (Martha) would repeat much as the real Gracie would. Yes, we are winding down here at Andrew's Casa. Maggie is already in the bed and waiting on me.

I got my usual 3 pc. chicken meal tonight. Charlie made sure to get two orders of those potato wedges I love so much and for which I much appreciated his effort.

"Do you want them again next week?" Charlie asked me and I told him I would really appreciate it.

My father's job tonight was administering my crazy meds as he lamented pitifully and painfully about Auburn's loss last night and a tough loss it was.

"It is not looking good for Auburn, son," he told me as if someone was languishing on an operating table at a hospital -- their vital signs growing weaker.

All the king's horses and all the king's men...

Hey, at least I knew who we played and what was the final score. That was major kudos for me.

Tomorrow I have nothing planned other than an all day emulator retro-gaming extravaganza. I will then have to tear myself away from the computer and go get groceries tomorrow night.

I have that blood work this upcoming week as well -- hanging over my head like a dark cloud as the new week approaches. It is still many days away and I am already worried about it (like mother like son).  I hope the nurse is quick and merciful.

Not A Box, But a Boxter...

http://cars.axlegeeks.com/

One of dad's really good friends, JL, was recently diagnosed with advanced stage prostate cancer. He couldn't urinate so he went to doctor and they found what was ailing him -- an enlarged and cancer ridden prostate.. So far all treatments haven't worked very well and the prognosis remains very grim.

I have rarely seen my father cry in my life, but he did when he heard about JL's cancer.

"JL is my buddy," my father said wiping a tear or two from his eyes.

A Journey Spurred On By Friendship...

"I am going down to see JL this morning," dad told me early today about 7am. "You want to come? We'll eat breakfast at the Waffle House out by the interstate."

JL had the biggest TV I have ever seen and it was in utra high definition (4K). There was also a brand new Porsche Boxter convertible sitting in the driveway.

"JL?" you certainly have mighty good tastes when it come to electronics and automobiles."

JL smiled warmly and told me a very heartwarming thank you.

"Take the Boxster for a spin," JL very graciously told me.

The acceleration of that car can best be described as explosive and violent. You hit the gas and you were off to the races. I got to pretend that I was a rich man for the morning.

I've Never Eaten a Waffle at the Waffle House...

http://daily.swarthmore.edu/

"Are you getting your usual?" dad asked me after we sat down in the Waffle House.

"I am a creature of habit and I am going to order a ham and cheese omelette," I said.

Dad told the waitress that he was having what I was having.

"Ma'am? I also want an additional order of toast and bacon," I told the waitress.

Sometimes, I will be adventurous and order two cheeseburgers for an unorthodox breakfast. I am certain that my father would raise his eyebrows at that.

It didn't take but five minutes and our food was on the table -- just as fast as a fast food restaurant and it tastes incredibly so much better.

Heading for the Great Falls...

Charlie called me at 3pm which struck me as very odd.

"What's wrong?" I instinctively asked upon answering the phone and hearing Charlie's voice.

It sounded like he was in a call center somewhere with much raucous din in the background. It was amazing that Charlie got me to the phone at all. I had just plugged it back in its socket after a long nap with Ms. Magster.

"Your mother had a pretty nasty fall last night and lay on the floor until morning," Charlie told me. "She had an x-ray, but nothing was broken, She seems better this afternoon and should be okay."

Charlie wanted me to go sit with my mother this afternoon for which I obliged. I was the last person on this earth to be told what was going on which kind of miffed me.

Charlie's wife, Janice, took her home from the hospital.  I immediately got in the car and headed for my parent's house. Mom appeared perfectly fine and was quite chatty. Mom was worried mainly that we may not get to eat at the Zen House Chinese restaurant tomorrow evening.

"Do you want me to stay overnight at your house?" I asked my mother.

She said she was fine and tired of all this much-ado-about-nothing.

"Doctor Bacshi halved the dosage of Xanax I take everyday," my mother then lamented to me. "What will I do if I have a panic attack?"

I stayed quiet after that and didn't open that can of worms. I walked down to the basement to get mom's walker and asked her to please use it.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

http://www.funnyfidos.com/

It so very nice being on a "normal" sleeping schedule. 11pm will roll around and I about can't keep my eyes open much longer. I won't wake up until around noon feeling so refreshed. It really is a blessing for someone like me who's had chronic sleep problems. I think a lot of it has to do with the lack of structure in my life.

Charlie arrived this morning right on schedule with a sack full of McDonald's food.  There were two bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits and a sausage biscuit. I was greedy and ate both bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits and let Maggie have the sausage biscuit. I especially adore the large regular Coca-Cola Charlie brings me every Sunday. I can get tired of drinking diet Cokes.

Mom called me last hour saying she didn't know where my father was and needed someone to put her regimen of eye drops in. I drove over and performed my parental care duties for the day. My other motive was to get my sodas and a few cigars. Mom takes everything so literally. If the bottle says two drops every six hours then she will follow these instructions with due diligence.

I drove around a bit after an Arby's lunch to check on some diphenhydramine HCL prices. They wildly vary from one store to the next.

The prices are for a 24 pack of 25mg allergy tablets...

• Kroger $3.33
• Piggly Wiggly $1.39
• Wal-Mart $1.88
• Givorn's Foods  $3.49
• Fred's  $1.85
• Family Dollar $1.69
• Dollar General $2.00

Trouble in Paradise...

http://blogs.lawyers.com/

Mom was talking to me yesterday about how she can barely walk or bend over anymore. She called me like seven times (I'm not jesting) yesterday just wanting to talk about various issues in her life. Dad calls me my mother's analyst. As soon as I would get situated in front of my computer room computer then she would call again. She would let my phone ring once and then I would call her back.

"You have to keep in mind that you are 70 years old now," I told my mother matter-of-factly.

"Your father just callously says I need to lose weight and then I would be fine."

"Why don't you get your doctor, Dr. Bakshi, to sign you up for rehabilitation?" I said to mom.

Mom called me back very excitedly after thinking about it for a few hours and said she was going to start rehabilitation.

"It can't hurt to try," I told my mother. "I will drive you down to the hospital on days you need to go."

If dad gets a whiff that I encouraged my mother to try rehabilitation then I am in deep doo doo. He tells me to never encourage my mother in issues such as this. I am praying mom will not blurt it out to my father.

Dear Kind Nurses of the World! Thank You!

There really is a super bunch of healthcare professionals down at Kamath Medical where I get my injection. Dee Dee, Pat, and my nurse Rebecca got me in and out in no time flat this morning.

"How long have we been doing this?" I asked Dee Dee who was filling out my next appointment card.

"Oh Lordy!" Dee Dee exclaimed with a hearty chuckle. "You've been getting your injection here for at least 5 years."

"At least!" she emphasized further.

I scuppered on out of the medical center and headed to Valley Pharmacy just up the road a-ways. I gave my father my next appointment card and grabbed two Cokes out of the cooler -- my reward for a job well done.  With my medical obligations now fulfilled for another two weeks, I headed towards my nice, safe, and quiet home and the Magster.

Eyesight is a Blessing...

http://perlmancenter.com/

Mom had her cataract surgery yesterday on her left eye. I stopped by the hospital late yesterday afternoon to check on her. They were getting her ready to go home much to my father's relief. Mom seemed in a chipper mood and in good spirits. She said she felt no pain during the surgery even though she was awake for the procedure (that must've been uncomfortable). The Secretary gets excited about doctor's appointments, examinations, and surgeries so she was in her element yesterday.

I just called my father's cellphone and they were on their way back down the interstate to Auburn for a post-op follow-up visit with the doctor. I was hoping to get my sodas before they left. Close, but no cigar as that old saying goes. I ambled down to the Circle K on the corner to get a few Mountain Dew Baja Blast sodas to tide me over. Those sodas sure do have a kick with good taste to boot.

And We Have Gloriously Giant Drinks...

Dad finally arrived much to Maggie's and my elation. "Papa's Here!" I exclaimed as Maggie began to bark jubilantly. We both thought he would never get here tonight as the clock inched closer to 10 pm. Maggie whined on the couch watching every car that passed for an hour realizing it was getting late and Papa still hadn't arrived.

"I told you she would be back," dad told me laughing hysterically when I told him Laura asked me out for Valentine's day.

Dad thinks this all one big game and I guess in a way it is. The dating game. I guess I will have to get some cliched flowers and some equally cliched chocolate.

We were driving down to the Circle K to get our gloriously giant drinks. Laura had also asked me to ask my father what Visteril was used for.  It is an antihistamine type of drug that is also used to calm your nerves or help you go to sleep -- once used as an anesthetic.

"Hydroxyzine is similar to Benedryl or diphenhydramine in a lot of ways," my father replied.

I got my two XL Sobe Citrus drinks and they cost $1.52.  Dad got a large Diet Coke for .69 cents.

"Your injection is in the morning and I have continuing education down in Auburn," dad told me as we sat in his car in front of my house. "I am leaving now to go fill your prescription and will give it to Charlie. Charlie will meet you at Kamath Medical at 9 am with your injection."

A Happy Camper Greets You...

We were sitting on the couch a moment ago with the Magster between us taking my medications when my father asked, "Do you want to run down to the K and get a big ass drink? I'm thirsty!"

"Sure!" I excitedly exclaimed as I stood up and pulled on a jacket.

I was ready to go in mere seconds.

It only took us a moment to drive down the street to the Circle K.  Dad got a 32oz diet Coke and I got two 32oz Sobe Citrus drinks.  I was a very happy camper.  I like it when we are spontaneous like that.  It breaks up the monotony of our usual daily routines and there were all kinds of interesting looking people to gawk at tonight if you like people watching like I do.

Dad also brought a big Tupperware container of Janice's homemade vegetable beef soup.  In a Ziploc bag were two very healthy portions of Mexican cornbread.  I just have to let my medications finish soaking in about 11 pm and then I will have a good and supplemental supper before I retire around midnight.

Dad still has all his grocery shopping to do tonight and it is almost 11 pm and Kroger closes at Midnight.  Dad showed me the list my mother, the secretary, had made for him and it was pretty lengthy.

I just called Charlie on the phone and his cataracts were completely removed and he will have healthy eyes again soon. I still have a lot of phone anxiety, but I made myself make that call so Charlie would know I was thinking about him.  It was awkward, but it is done and I hope Charlie knows I love him.

image credit:  http://www.southernplate.com/2013/01/mamas-mexican-cornbread.html

Let's Go Looking Throughout Andrew's Past...

I feel so good tonight.  This is two nights in a row without withdrawal from my crazy meds.  I am happy and I am very content.  Most of the evening was spent building another computer with spare parts I had lying around my computer room. We are going to be a four computer household.

Historically, this is a very dangerous situation to be in as far as I am concerned.  I will think I am mental illness free -- that it is conquered just like the common cold.  In brash bravado, I will quit taking my medications and get ill again. I have been notoriously noncompliant about my crazy meds over the years due to this reason. That's is one of the major reasons my father stops by here every night to administer my medications.  He says I am like Jekyll and Hyde when I quit taking my meds. It is a vicious cycle fraught with many Catch-22s.

image credit:  http://gunsandgarbage.com/buttons/

Great Salutations Charlie!!!

Charlie swung by my house on his way home from work late this evening. He really is one of the kindest souls I have ever met.  He had brought me supper.

“Here is a Zaxby’s chicken sampler plate and here is the biggest Coke they sell,” he told me setting everything down on top of my entertainment center. “I got them to hold the ice on the Coke just like you like it.”

The sampler plate had hot wings, celery and chicken tenders. There was also some of the best crispy french fries I’ve eaten in a long time and some buttered Texas toast. 

“Your den looks so much better with that rug removed,” Charlie then told me and Charlie doesn’t give compliments lightly or frivolously.  “We’ll get it cleaned and you can put it back down.”

Charlie was then headed home to get Horsefly and take him to get his nightly KFC chicken tender plate. Charlie’s wife always makes sure Horsefly has his bath, dressed, hair combed, and is ready to go.

Photo Credit:  http://www.yelp.com/biz/zaxbys-antioch

In the Name of the Magster…

---

I awoke about 4:30pm this afternoon and couldn’t go back to sleep. I actually got 10 hours of sleep so it was no big deal. I called the veterinarian to see if they would give me some antibiotics to give to Maggie.

“We will call you when they are ready to pick up,” the receptionist told me.

I made sure the medicine was in capsule form so I could sprinkle it on Maggie’s food.

I came home after they called me and mixed an open capsule of amoxicillin in with a small paper bowl of chow mein and Maggie gobbled it right up. Maggie was none the wiser.  She has the most persistent ear infection I have ever encountered in all the pets we have owned.  I was trying to medicate it with Q-tips and hydrogen peroxide and that just wasn’t working.  We had to bring out the big guns. 

Photo Credit:  http://www.barakat-pharma.com/index.php?page=products&op=display_product_details&prod_id=199&page_num=1

And the Verdict is?

Broken foot.  Now, I have this big monstrosity of a brace on my leg and foot which I have to wear for three weeks.  Luckily, I can take it off before going to bed.  I look and sound like Frankenstein’s monster milling about this house, and the Magster doesn’t quite know what to do with me at the moment.  She’s scared of me and fascinated at the same time when I come clunking down the hall.  To make the picture complete all I would have to do is moan and lurch like a brain eating zombie.