Maggie! I’m Home!

Maggie was barking fervently as I walked across the yard from the car tonight. “Where have you been?” she seemed to urgently say as I stepped through the front door. I plopped down on the couch with a loud sigh as Maggie thoroughly sniffed me finding out where I have been. It’s a smell she is becoming accustomed to.

“I’ve got a lady friend, Maggie,” I told her as I turned on the television and took the shoes off my tired dogs.

I gave Maggie a big hug and then I told her I loved her as I scratched her back. That seemed to have settled her down some.

I had driven down to Tracy’s apartment tonight. Tracy was studying for a chemistry exam which was tomorrow evening and I watched The Outlaw King on Netflix at her home which I had been itching to see. It was okay. A little slow in places. I actually didn’t watch the ending as I gave up on it and got up to leave – ready to head home. Poor Tracy. I know I had to have been distracting, but she said she was really glad I was there.

“Drive safe, doll,” she told me. “Call me when you get home.”

We gave each other another tantalizing peck on the lips, a long embrace, and I disappeared into the night like a tomcat on the prowl.

One thing I am noticing about Tracy is that she tends to be a loner despite her bubbly personality. She is just not being overrun with girlfriends. I am not exactly running over with friends myself these days except for my blog friends and (gasp!) Tuleana and Richard.

Outlaw King Synopsis…

A true David vs. Goliath story of how the 14th century Scottish 'Outlaw King' Robert the Bruce used cunning and bravery to defeat the much larger and better equipped occupying English army.

Mr. Smooth Operator…

Last night was a flurry of activity brought about by Tracy’s imminent arrival. I have a Blu-ray disc of different fireplaces and picked a fireplace and put it on loop. I then turned the computer desk lamp on and turned the other main lamp off. The room flickered romantically from the fire on the TV screen. Next, I got the pizza in the oven. I wished I had a Digiornos pizza, but Red Baron had to suffice. Soon, Tracy’s black Volkswagen Beetle pulled up in front of my house.

“Hey sweetie,” she said as I opened the door.

Oh, my heart went into a whirl. She looked gorgeous last night despite having no makeup and her work clothes on.

“Hey gal,” I replied. “Come on inside.”

It is amazing what dogs know. Maggie has instantly welcomed Tracy into her pack. When Tuleana and Richard would come over, she would hide in the hall and look into the den apprehensively. I would have never thought Maggie would be the jealous type as she lay in-between Tracy and I as we sat on the couch. She was our referee.

We talked and talked and talked some more. I told her some things in my past and she didn’t balk. She had a few skeletons in her closet as well. We were really honest with each other last night.

11:00 pm rolled around and I told Tracy we better get some sleep. We both had to be up bright and early to arrive at the Humane Society. Tracy gave me our first kiss as she was leaving. It was just a peck on the lips, but a kiss none the less. It send a tingling down my spine and my heart had a few palpitations.

Just As Friends…

Tracy asked me out for dinner today as soon as I had arrived at the shelter this morning. I was taking off my coat and hanging it on the coat rack when she asked. It was like she just couldn’t wait.anymore and had to urgently get it over with. She had made up her mind. It completely caught me off guard and by surprise. We’ve gotten pretty close lately, but I didn’t realize it was to that point in our relationship.

“It doesn’t have to be fancy,” she said. “We will grab a bite to eat at a place of your choice. I just want to spend some time with you and talk.”

“Tracy, I was a 20 year old man when you were born,” I replied. “A May to December relationship may not be the best of things right now. You’re also still reeling from the breakup with Michael.”

“It is just as friends, silly,” she said to me smiling broadly and giggling like a little school girl. “We’re not going to rush home and get in the bed afterwards and have wild sex.”

“Well, okay,” I said. “Just as friends.”

“Let’s go to Jim Bob’s in Opelika and get their wonderful chicken tenders,” I told Tracy.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Tracy replied. “Do you want to go tomorrow night? Or tonight?”

“Tomorrow would be fine. The weather is going to be iffy tonight. Let’s say I pick you up at 7 pm your time, Central time,” I said. “That will be 8 pm my time, Eastern time.”

For the rest of the day, Tracy’s and my heads were in the clouds. It was almost hard to concentrate on cleaning the kennels. It was so exciting to be going out with a friend. I’ve missed having a close comrade in my life. Tracy and I have grown closer and closer these past few months till we think we know everything about each other.

The Ever Busy Charlie Visits this Morning...

Opening my Fanta strawberry journal writing soda for the day...

"Just what are you doing?" I asked Charlie when he stepped inside my humble home with a plastic grocery bag full of stuff this morning.

Maggie was totally surprised and just delighted at this visit. She let it be known. Charlie sat down upon the couch and Maggie almost got into his lap she was so excited. Maggie's too big of a dog to be jumping into loved one's laps, though.

"Yes, I love you, too!" Charlie told Maggie in baby talk as he rubbed her vigorously.

"Frankly, your house smells of dogs and smoldering cigars," Charlie then said quite bluntly. "I brought you some Glade plugins and a couple of cans of Febreeze air freshener."

I smiled and then began to laugh. Charlie got to laughing as well. He's true. It does.

"I got you a plugin for every room," Charlie then told me. "Do you want to plug them in or do you want me to do it?"

I laughed again.

"Charlie, I will take care of it. You head to work, and thank you for looking out for me."

Rich and Tuleana...

Here's a Cluck, There's a Cluck, Everywhere's a Cluck Cluck...

Oh, My Gawd! I was so stomach grumbling hungry today. I was ravished. I could really empathize with all the starving children in Africa. The fried chicken in the deli at Wal-Mart smelled so delicious it was almost painful and tortuous.

I walked back out to the car to smoke until Tuleana and Rich could finish their shopping.

"We are about finished," Tuleana reassured me.

She was loading their cart with Walmart brand spaghetti rings and meatballs.

"She'll eat it straight out of the can," Rich told me as if some taboo had been evoked.

They got a shitload of groceries with their food-stamps and encouraged me to sign up as well. I don't think I am eligible, though. I don't want to be sucking off any more government teats than I already am.

"Who's up for lunch?" I asked them after we settled back into my car and I turned the key.

My Honda started to purr like the kitten she is.

"My favorite thing is the mashed potatoes and gravy at Kentucky Fried Chicken," Richard said sounding anxious and hopeful.

"I will eat anything," Tuleana said plainly from the backseat.

"Then KFC it is," I told my new found friends.

"Rich, get one of the $5 dollar fill-ups as they have double the usual amount of mashed potatoes and gravy," I told him. "And you also get a delicious chocolate chip cookie for a dessert."

Stay Awhile... Stay As Long As You Please...

This stuff smells wonderful.

He Wasn't So Fussy and the Feathers Weren't Flying...

I got on one of my Mad Hatter house cleaning fits today. It is a once in a blue moon kind of thing for me to do.

"I'm heading to Kroger to get some Fabuloso, a mop, and a bucket," I told my father who was at work to approve the debit transaction.

"Are you cleaning your house?" dad asked and I said yes. "Well, thank Jesus! Get up all that dog hair while you are at it."

Dad inspected my house upon arrival tonight. We both agreed that us two are just not very domestic -- cleaning house doesn't come easy to us. He was amazed at what I got accomplished, though.

Dad stayed a very long time tonight regaling me in stories of when my mother worked with him at the pharmacy. They were all very interesting. My mother was a pistol for sure and we laughed and laughed. I can't even imagine my father and mother both working at the pharmacy together. That is like when oil meets water.

Making Our Rounds...

Tuleana's called me several times today. She wants to go back to Wal-Mart, her mother's house, and Charter bank. I told her I would be glad to take her. Hell, it gives me something to do instead of sitting in front of my computers all day and obsessively scheming of my next hardware purchase. I have very much enjoyed our new found camaraderie.

"I'll see you in the morning at nine my time," I told her tonight. "And make sure Richard is going with us."

I also have a whole bag of DVDs to give to Richard tomorrow. They don't have cable television way out in the boonies where they live. He is going to really enjoy all the Star Trek and Star Wars DVDs I am bringing him. He is a big Trekkie and a Star Wars fanatic.

There and Back Again By Andrew...

I have never seen someone buy so much ground beef at one time in my life. I wouldn't be surprised if they grew hooves and started to moo by midweek. They bought 16 rolls of ground beef at Wal-Mart and they filled up their fridge with it. I am not exaggerating at all.

All kidding aside, everything went fine. No anxiety attacks. No nothing mentally adverse. I think I've made two new good friends. They are kind of country, but they are good folks as my grandmother would always say of certain people. I think Rich fell off the hay truck at one point in his life.

I also tested the limits of my endurance and found I could do far more than I thought I could. We went to quite a few places where I was content to sit in the car and chew on a cigar (just like George of George and the Gang fame) while Rich and Tuleana did their business.

I helped bring their groceries into their camper and it was neat as a pin and that made me feel better as well. Crackheads are not going to have a clean kitchen and a big screen television.

Tuleana asked me just as I was about to take them home if she could go talk to her "baby's daddy" in West Point which was way out of the way. I politely told her that we better head back to the camper as I was ready to drive home, see Maggie, and take a nap. I think it got off with her and she was pouting with me, but she will just have to deal with it. I had done my duty.

Good Folks...

Score 1 for Andrew

Score 0 for Social Anxiety/Social Phobias

Well, I made it there and back. It was easier to get there by the interstate according to my trusty internet map program. It took 10 miles to drive there for which I was relieved. I only had to drive on that crazy Hwy. 29 for a few miles.

Rich and his wife, Tuleana, both had severe cabin fever so we got out and about the town. I can't imagine not having a car. I drove us up to Pizza Hut and we had pizzas and Pepsi, my treat. I ate a whole large supreme pizza to myself I was so hungry. They are both just good people fallen on hard-times and I think I have found two new friends. I told Rich that I was a goof ball but I am a loyal and caring friend. He seemed to appreciate that. He assured me he was a bigger goof ball than I. I laughed.

Old fuss and feathers (my father) really worried about me, though. He worries I am naive of the world and will be taken advantage of by poor people like that. If he only knew me during my hard drinkin' Piggly Wiggly gang days. He underestimates my street smarts. He gave me a long lecture over the phone earlier after I had arrived home all the while he was working in his yard huffing and puffing.

"How do you know they are not crackheads?" my father asked. "There is a reason why they don't have a car."

"Crackheads wouldn't have a nice wide screen television in their den," I exasperatedly told my father.

The Trial Run...

Mrs. Maggie decided that 10:30 AM was a good wake up time. I woke up with her whining next to the bed and she also scratched my arm. She was hungry and lonely. I warmed up some pastries in the microwave and that was breakfast. Maggie got a cheese danish and I got the apple. I've got to remember to get up some eggs on my foray out of the house today. I want my grand breakfast in the morning. Strike that. Charlie is coming with biscuits in the morning. I forgot it is Saturday.

Today, around 3 PM to 4 PM, I am driving down to Rich's mobile home on a trial run to see if I can get there. He lives on county road 388 just off of Hwy. 29. It is a pretty good drive, but I have a full tank of gas which is reassuring (might need to skedaddle out of there). My social phobias are screaming for relent at this point, but I am going to give it a good college try. They act like they are just absolutely desperate and starved for visitors and a friend. From what I've read so far, they seem to live in abject and destitute poverty.-- living solely on the meager disability income of Rich's wife.

Rich's wife just texted me asking me if I am up and still coming. I wrote back wanting to know the number of their mobile home. I also wanted to know where we are going Tuesday which seems so paramount.

If I told my father I was doing this, he would be screaming bloody murder! "What if they are crack heads or drug fiends?" I don't think they could afford it. I wonder what will happen if he comes over today and I am not at home? He's going to be immediately worried. He will also search my home looking for malfeasance such as empty beer cans.

Meandering Little Tempests...

We've had some good turbulent thunderstorms this morning. One thunderstorm would rain itself out and another one would pop up in its place. Well, that just thrills me to death. I tried to get a video of the thunder, rain, and skies, but it didn't turn out very well. We will try again later in the afternoon as I do believe we will have more storms.

My neighbor George has become accustomed again to sitting on his carport these days drinking his Miller Highlife. It increases the chances of us talking exponentially. Every time I go out to my car, I get caught by George. I don't see how he can sit outside in this heat for so long.

"Hey Fella!" he will say to me.

"Do you still use that iPad I gave to you?" I asked George today.

"The battery won't hold a charge and the wireless signal is too weak," George replied to me.

The signal is my fault for moving my wireless router into the computer room on the other end of my house.  Also, that is typical for a battery in a 1st generation iPad. That iPad had got to be pushing 5 years gone.

Let's Build Some Wealth...

"Dad?" I asked my father this afternoon. "Put aside $50 dollars out of my monthly allotments so I will have some computer part purchasing power come this Christmas. With your $250 you give me then that will give me almost $500 dollars to spend this Christmas."

"We'll talk about tonight when I bring your medications," he told me and abruptly got off the phone.

I thought it was a rather reasonable request.

This going to be a computer audio-themed Christmas. I am getting two sets of 200-watt speakers and two Soundblaster sound cards.

Full Moon = Full Lunatic...

Dad showed up at my house a little late as I expected, He was tired and he was a little sad and melancholy. He had been down to Auburn to see his big Buddy J.L. who is dying from prostate cancer (we hope not but it is looking grim). That's why he was so late and I felt ashamed of myself for doubting him. We took my medications and fulfilled our obligation to our dearest Maggie. Next, was a short drive to Kroger.

"Goddamn, how does a grocery store run out of bananas?" dad said scratching his head in thought.

"There goes my main snack for the week," I replied stymied. "And welcome to Kroger."

Even the organic bananas were sold out. I usually buy two big bunches of green ripening bananas. I got a honeydew melon and a cantaloupe melon to make up for the missing bananas mishap.

"Now, I am getting some rechargeable batteries and a charger," I alerted and warned my father. "I also need a new flashlight as well. It might be a little pricey."

Those were some expensive purchases once we tallied everything up. I had spent $94. I looked at my father and my face flushed in embarrassment. Yeah, I am a rabble-rouser.

The hardest part of buying groceries is getting everything inside and put away. I also have to keep the Magster on the other side of my front door lest she runs frolicking out the front yard and the neighborhood.

Not A Box, But a Boxter...

http://cars.axlegeeks.com/

One of dad's really good friends, JL, was recently diagnosed with advanced stage prostate cancer. He couldn't urinate so he went to doctor and they found what was ailing him -- an enlarged and cancer ridden prostate.. So far all treatments haven't worked very well and the prognosis remains very grim.

I have rarely seen my father cry in my life, but he did when he heard about JL's cancer.

"JL is my buddy," my father said wiping a tear or two from his eyes.

A Journey Spurred On By Friendship...

"I am going down to see JL this morning," dad told me early today about 7am. "You want to come? We'll eat breakfast at the Waffle House out by the interstate."

JL had the biggest TV I have ever seen and it was in utra high definition (4K). There was also a brand new Porsche Boxter convertible sitting in the driveway.

"JL?" you certainly have mighty good tastes when it come to electronics and automobiles."

JL smiled warmly and told me a very heartwarming thank you.

"Take the Boxster for a spin," JL very graciously told me.

The acceleration of that car can best be described as explosive and violent. You hit the gas and you were off to the races. I got to pretend that I was a rich man for the morning.

I've Never Eaten a Waffle at the Waffle House...

http://daily.swarthmore.edu/

"Are you getting your usual?" dad asked me after we sat down in the Waffle House.

"I am a creature of habit and I am going to order a ham and cheese omelette," I said.

Dad told the waitress that he was having what I was having.

"Ma'am? I also want an additional order of toast and bacon," I told the waitress.

Sometimes, I will be adventurous and order two cheeseburgers for an unorthodox breakfast. I am certain that my father would raise his eyebrows at that.

It didn't take but five minutes and our food was on the table -- just as fast as a fast food restaurant and it tastes incredibly so much better.

Home Town Ambassador...

 Annabel said...

Looks like Josh and I are heading to Atlanta starting July 15. We should be coming through your town Saturday afternoon on July 16 between 2-3ish. Are you still up for either a late lunch or early dinner? I'm going to email you my phone number - so check your email.

Annabel,

I am so excited about seeing you and Josh! Keep me appraised of what is going on. I am checking my email. I will email you my phone number as well.

Andrew

To My Friend Christina...

It's great you are so close. You have always been my voice of reason over the years. You are probably going through culture shock right now living in Atlanta. My house is about 45 minutes from Atlanta's airport. We will have to meet halfway someday in Newnan, Georgia. There is a great little Chinese restaurant there. Keep in mind that I may have a few blunderous moments of social faux pas. Laugh with me and not at me!

The Neighborly Thing to Do...

I had been over at my parent's house a moment ago taking my medications. My father was in no shape to drive tonight. I pulled into my driveway and my good neighbor, George, walked over to talk to me as I was getting out of my car.

"I'll pay you for that wrought iron table and chairs on your screened-in porch," George told me.

"It was a gift to me from my friend, Charlie, and it is going to be a gift from your neighbor, Andrew," I told George. "I will bring them over Friday."

George looked excited and shook my hand very, very vigorously.

"Now, the chairs are rocking chairs," I told my friend.

"I was hoping they were," George replied, already in the know.

I walked inside to start this week's crossword puzzle with a little coaching from my father on the phone. I could not think of the capital, Kabul, of Afganistan to save my life. I knew where the Gobi desert was, though. It's a great place to find dinosaur fossils.

The Derrière Beckons...

This morning I sleepily picked up the phone and dialed my father's cell phone number.

"My injection is this Thursday so you may want to go ahead and fill my prescription," I told him with a gravelly, sleepy voice.

"You're a good man, son," he said, sounding relieved. "I had forgotten all about it."

"Well, I always get in a mess mentally when we forget it," I replied.

It will literally take me several days to recover.

My father said he was getting it out of the pharmacy fridge and would fill it as soon as we got off the phone.

"See you tonight," my father said as I was telling him goodbye as well. 

I then called my mother to put my sodas on the back porch. Mom had the back door open which meant she was receiving visitors. I stayed a few moments and we talked awhile. Mom's like me. We just get lonely sometimes. Even introverts crave conversation at times -- conversations of the right kind that is.

"I have a new book reading friend," my mother told me cheerily. "She is my age and has just latched onto me. She is also a millionaire."

"I am happy for you," I told my mother with much sincerity.

"She's coming by to bring me more books today and I have some books for her as well."

That explained my mother being dressed and receiving this time of the day.

Things Going On Around Here…

• Mom is cleaning up the kitchen after supper.  We check in with each other nightly about this time every day. Mom is the only person on this third rock from the sun that understands me and how I click and what motivates me.  She often has to translate this to my father.
• Mom and dad had Thanksgiving ham, German potato salad, green beans and homemade yeast rolls. I begged for some German potato salad which is one of my favorite salads, but they were all out. “Be sure to get some sandwich bread,” my mother told me. “I am sending you some honey baked ham through your daddy.” While ham is not my most favorite food, I will eat it and this ham is especially good.
• They are having a big sale on Coca-Colas up at CVS so my father is leaving soon to go buy some before we go to the grocery store. He drinks diet Cokes about as much as I did when I still got them from my parents.
• I am doing laundry trying to get ready for our grocery trip tonight. I had about run out of clean clothes to wear – well, the clothes I like to wear that is.  I have a closet full of clothes that no longer fit me since I’ve lost a lot of weight.  Especially blue jeans.  I have two pair I wear normally and switch between the two.
• Charlie has only called me one time tonight about my lawn service.  They didn’t come to his house this week and he wanted to know if they came to my house.  I told him no, but they could’ve come when I was asleep during the day. He also told me good luck on buying groceries. He has to take Horsefly bowling tonight and by KFC for his nightly meal. I told him good luck as well.
• Maggie is feeling her oats tonight and wanting to play.  She feels so much better and it is heartwarming.  I am going to get her some treats tonight at the grocery store.  We keep lining up for a back scratch at the moment aggravatingly as she is so persistent about it. I call it Maggie’s assembly line.
• I went to bed around 8:30am and slept until 6:30pm.  It was nice getting some uninterrupted sleep which is rare sleeping in the day.  I guess the “day sleeper” sign Charlie got me is working and keeping the riffraff at bay.  I also unplug the landline phone and turn off my cellphone before hitting the hay. If I ever leave that phone unplugged, it will ring as soon as I fall asleep every time.
• I am trying to psyche myself up about going to buy groceries tonight. The line is faltering as they say in the infantry, but I am sure my father will bring reinforcements. 

Hey Jermaine! We will be Shopping Between 9pm to 10pm Tonight! So Get Ready For Us!

I wonder if I will get accosted by my good friend Jermaine once again tonight?  I am one of his few “friends” in this world that will actually stop and listen to him spout aimlessly about various subjects.  My mother will say, “He is such a pest!”  Jermaine has special needs I will retort in his defense.

The grocery store is Jermaine’s main social outlet and meeting place. His favorite time to shop is around 9pm to 10pm these evenings which coincides with my father’s and my favorite time to shop. The store will only have a handful of patrons around that time of the evening which parlays to a quick ingress and egress most eveinings.

I am probably sticking with another spaghetti and meat sauce week on tonight’s grocery outing. That tasted so very good last week. It was warm and filling and damned delicious.  I also want a gallon of whole milk and two large 12 pc. boxes of unfrosted strawberry Pop-Tarts as well. That’s my new beau right now as far as sweets go.  Heaven on Earth – how can I resist?  I’m sorry, but frosting is for hairdos, weirdoes, and wuss kid pussies.

Photo Credit:  http://www.amazon.com/Pop-Tarts-Frosted-Strawberry-12-Count-Boxes/dp/B001PNIEJ0

Life’s Ultimate Trials and Tribulations…

Well, Wendy sent me two very vague (at best) Facebook “stickers” back last night around 1:30am in our chat timeline and no sentences.  One looked like what I think was she was either tired or aggravated and one looked like she was sleepy or depressed.  Not really sure of what she meant, but I am out of here as far as that rigmarole goes anymore.  I’m no longer playing the game. She lost a good and loving guy with a very, very big heart.  Maybe dating and relationships are just not in the cards for me.  I’ve fought the good fight despite countless and seemingly insurmountable odds such as my turgid social anxiety is concerned. Now? I am laying down my arms and walking away from this battlefield.

Photo Credit:   http://www.lastdaysministries.org/Articles/1000008512/Last_Days_Ministries/LDM/Discipleship_Teachings/Melody_Green/Binding_Up_the.aspx