Whoopee! Four For A Dollar...

The Pig had potted meat on sale tonight four for a $1. I quickly put 8 cans in my cart and then reminded myself to get some cracker's to eat them with. We settled on Saltines tonight. Maggie just loves the stuff and so do I. I will admit that it is an acquired taste, though.

My grandmother always called potted meat fishin' food as it was easy to put the rather small cans and some saltines in your tackle box. Then you would have a snack while you are fishing.

I was then worried the Pig wouldn't have my big value-sized box of unfrosted strawberry Poptarts. I haven't bought them since I last shopped at Kroger. Dad and I finally found them and I put a box in my cart. They are heavenly warmed in the microwave for a few seconds and then consumed with a cold glass of whole milk.

I am actually going to cook dinner this week. I got some ground beef and hamburger buns. Maggie and I are going to have hamburgers and steak fries in a day or so.

They also had 6-packs of Tastykake pecan pinwheels for sale at .99 cents. I grabbed four packs of those as well. My sweet tooth was on cruise control this afternoon.

"Don't forget your two journal writing sodas," my father told me as we headed to check out.

I thanked him and grabbed two Mountain Dews out of the cooler. I try to limit my sugary sodas to two bottles a week. Moderation is not quite my middle name, but I try.

"How are you two gentlemen doing tonight?" Mrs. Camille glowingly asked us as she walked out of the manager's office.

Dad and I both smiled and told her we are doing okay. She then began to help me bag my groceries and get them back into my cart. It was very good to see her.

Comment Replies...

Blogger glittermom said...

When’s your dad retiring ? Is he still talking of moving to the River house. I would love to see a picture of that house.

Andrew Replies...

Dad is gradually moving into retirement. He says he can't continue to live his current lifestyle without working, though. Yes, he is talking about moving into the river house and selling the manor. I will have to get a video or pictures of the river house up on the blog soon.

A Meandering Morning...

I watched the most fascinating video on YouTube this morning. It was a shuttle launch from the astronaut's point of view. You got to experience the launch in the cockpit of the shuttle. It has got to be so exhilarating for the crew.


Groceries Ho!
Maggie and I very forlornly ate the very last of my bacon and eggs this morning. We were both starving after a fitful and restful night's sleep. It is grocery time indeed. I called Papa and told him to call me when he is ready to go grocery shopping this afternoon. He doesn't feel like he will get "caught" at the Piggly Wiggly which is beneficial for me.

"You can bring my Cokes and smokes before we shop," I told my father, hopefully saving him a trip to my house.

I just about can't take going grocery shopping at 9 PM at night. Hell, Maggie and I have been going to bed around 8 to 9 PM these days.

It was almost ten in the morning and he was just waking. I have been up since before sunup. He sounded like the walking dead.

Reliving My Youth...

This is my dream to have another 1972 Chevrolet Chevelle 350 SS -- the same car I drove in high school. They only want $22,000 for it, though. Do you think Papa would buy it for me?

Breakfast Redux...

"What are you doing?" I asked Charlie as he was getting out of his car very early this morning. "Aren't you supposed to be driving to work?"

"I took a couple days off," Charlie said. "I am moving into my new house today. I brought you and Maggie some breakfast."

In a sack were some Burger King bacon, egg and cheese croissants and Charlie also brought me a large orange juice from McDonald's.

"Do you need any help moving?" I then asked him to return his kindness.

"I hired some men to do the heavy lifting," Charlie said. "I am so excited. We should be sleeping in our bed in our new home tonight."

Charlie is always on the go. Charlie left about as soon as he had gotten here. He certainly doesn't dawdle. Maggie loved the croissant. It was a very nice change from our normal fare of McDonald's biscuits. I thought it was pretty darn good myself.

I studied my orange juice. Should I drink it or should I not? It always gives me heartburn these days and I was fresh out of Tums. I wanted it so badly, though. I wanted that tart sweetness to swirl in my mouth and tantalize my taste buds.

Bring Me Your Tired, Your Weary, Your Despondent...

I had called my father at work and told him to call me when he got home. I said I would drive over and get my cigarettes and two cokes saving him the drive to my house. I was trying to make things easy on him. He is so kind every night to bring me those things.

The phone rang as the clock was inching towards 9 PM and I answered.

"I'm ready for you," my father told me. "Give Maggie fresh food and water before you come."

When I walked outside, George was sitting in his cranked car smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer. I shook my head and chuckled. I put my car in drive and sped off to my father's house. I noticed three police cars with lights blazing at the house on the corner.

Dad had ordered a large pizza and only ate like two slices and gave me the rest. I called it tonight's bonus round and he laughed.

"Are you feeling lots of withdrawal?" my father asked me worriedly since we quit taking Benadryl Sunday.

"I've felt pretty good," I told him. "It is more psychosomatic than anything. I miss the ritual."

I took Benadryl every night for years and years.

"I worked only 5 hours and I'm pooped," dad told me as I was heading out the door. "It's a long time to stand on your feet."

Samantha came scurrying inside as soon as I opened the screen door.

"That's one busy cat," I told my father laughing.

"She'd go in and out all day if given the choice," my father replied.

I talked my father into giving me two packs of cigarettes tonight as he has to work all day tomorrow. I called it my emergency pack. He balked some but gave in.

Curb Side Service Only Last Night...

Maggie and I both sat in the window last night on the lookout for Charlie and my father to get here. Dad courtesy called me and said they left at seven. Well, it was almost nine when they arrived at my house. Maggie had given up and fallen asleep on the back cushion of the couch.

"KFC was crazy," Charlie told me from the window of his car. "They didn't have your two chicken pot pies."

"Everybody's got their tax refund and are just going wild," my father chimed in from the passenger's seat which made me chuckle.

Surely that wasn't the reason I thought with more laughter.

"Well, I got you a $5 fillup chicken strips meal," Charlie said. "Is that okay?"

"That's fine," I said disappointedly.

Charlie gathered up all their chocolate chip cookies and gave them to me I guess in consolation. My schizophrenic brain then went into overdrive that this was just some ploy to keep me from getting two chicken pot pies which are relatively expensive.

Maggie and I were so dismayed that my father and Charlie didn't come inside last night. I had the kitchen and bathroom sparkling clean and wanted some congratulations for my effort. Maggie stood at the screen door and barked jubilantly for naught as I was standing to the side of Charlie's car.

Mornings With Papa...

"Should I knock?" I asked myself about 9:30 AM this morning. I was fretting. My father likes or I should say loves to sleep late. I was standing at my dad's back door and Sam was just having a fit to get inside. I knocked really quietly at first and waited. Soon, I could hear my father's footsteps on the kitchen floor as he ambled to the door. I heard him grab the key and the door unlocked.

"Good morning you two!" he said happily, swinging the door widely open.

"Were you asleep?" I asked sheepishly and guardedly.

"I was awake. I was just laying on the bed enjoying my warm covers," dad said welcoming me and Sam inside.

Sam went straight to her food dish and started eating her nibbles as my father calls them.

Dad turned on the oven for his toast, flicked the switch on the coffee maker, turned on the heater on the wall, and then turned on the television. We were watching the weather channel and we both moaned as we have yet more rain on the way. Spring has sprung here. Everything is green, blooming and the trees are leafing out.

"You two are lucky I am so accommodating this early," my father said chuckling. "You didn't talk to your grandmother until she got two cups of coffee in her."

I told dad I fixed my television which was popping and carrying on. It simply was the HDMI cable. The one the WOW! guy installed was defective. I had an extra one in a drawer in the bedroom.

"It's a shame you couldn't have made a decent living fixing computers and electronics," he told me.

"I am going to drink a Diet Coke then I am going to go," I told my father as I headed to the fridge.

Dad was surprised that I wanted a Diet Coke as I haven't been drinking them very much lately.

Carly Rae Jepsen - I Really Like You

A Conjunction of Trouble...

I just tried to call Charlie, but I bet he left his phone at home as he is prone to do. In about 30 minutes, a big line of wicked storms will be moving through. I wanted to warn Charlie who is out and getting all our breakfasts. Charlie is completely oblivious and clueless as far as the weather is concerned. It is almost 9:30 so hopefully Charlie will be along soon before the shit hits the fan. He usually comes between 9:15 and 10:15.

Update: Too Late, at 10:00 AM it is loudly thundering and pouring rain now. Fare thee well Charlie.

Update 2: "You know me," Charlie said. "I don't keep up with the weather. Sorry I am running so late this morning."

Charlie didn't arrive until almost 10:30 this Sunday. Charlie had run across my yard in a pouring rain and handed me three sausage biscuits and an extra large Coke. What little hair he has was flailing wildly in the brisk wind and the rain which caused me to chuckle loudly.

"I got your message," Charlie said trying to straighten his hair some. "But it was too late."

Maggie was just going bonkers that Charlie stepped inside for a minute.

"Hey Maggie Lou," Charlie said in baby talk. "I love you, too!"

Charlie then left my house headed to my father's house to give him his sausage biscuit and a senior coffee. Before he arrives at my house, he delivers biscuits to his sister's house, Shelby, who lives just a block away from me.

Deflation...

I feel as if I have almost lost my muse it seems. Let's get to writing. It also seems after a big moment of huge elation like yesterday there is a moment of deflation the next day. This connection sure makes blogging easier, though, as everything, like editing, is instantaneous.

The technician took about an hour to install everything yesterday. He didn't show up until almost 9:45 AM and I got to sweating thinking they weren't coming. I got an interesting new Google OnHub wireless router (I love the sounds it makes) and a shiny new Arris Gigabit Plus cable modem for free in the bargain.

I was just absolutely exhausted last night after getting up at 4 AM. Dad called me and wanted to know if I would drive over to get my two Diet Cokes, cigarettes, and my third to last Benadryl. I said sure and hurried over despite my misgivings about driving after dark. Dad had continuing education in Columbus, Georgia yesterday and he was pooped out as well. He already had his pajamas on when I arrived.

"The speaker talked about all the new pharmaceutical breakthroughs in curing dementia and Alzheimer's," my father said. "It was fascinating."

I Miss Mom and All Her Antics...

I was sitting in my father's den this morning. Dad and I were talking about some of the more interesting stuff my mother did over the years and we both got to laughing so hard it hurt. Mom was extremely notorious for having intestinal distress.

"It was because she ate all that snacky shit all the time," my father said brusquely, sitting in his recliner with Sam in his lap.

Sam was purring so loudly I could hear her from several feet away.

"Remember the time you called your mother and she almost had an accident while you two were talking?" dad asked me this morning.

"Yeah, she was standing next to you when she said she had to quickly get off the phone as she was about to mess herself," I replied from the recliner next to him.

Dad burst out laughing.

"I quickly got up and moved out of the way," dad replied. "Because I was sitting behind her business end."

"I thought well that's one way to end a conversation," I said with a chuckle.

"And didn't she do something similar in assisted living?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, she said she messed in her diapers and started to take off her pants and then the diaper," I told him. "I turned my head in distress myself and thought that I didn't want to see my elderly mother naked from the waist down."

Dad burst out laughing again.

"Well, I quickly and reluctantly overcame my modesty and distress and helped her get some clean diapers and her pajama bottoms back on."

"Your mother never was modest," my father said, laughing some more.

Welcome to Gigatopia Andrew...

Before...

After...

Giddy Up and Go!

Maggie sighed loudly when I got up at 4 AM. She immediately got in the warm spot I left on the bed. My thermostat read 75 degrees, but it felt quite chilly in the house this morning. I went around the house and shut all my windows. We're having a heat wave here in the Southland. Maggie didn't get up until the smell of frying bacon began to waft into the bedroom. She lay on the floor at my feet in the kitchen as I prepared breakfast catching a few more winks.

Breakfast was very simple this morning. I scrambled six cheese eggs, fried bacon, and made some buttery toast. I put Maggie's paper plate of food on the floor and she wolfed it down and then wanted mine. More dog logic. Yours tastes better than mine according to Maggie.

The reason I am up so early is that I am so excited about my Internet and couldn't sleep any longer. I am hoping WOW! will get here around 8 AM. My appointment window is between 8 AM and 10 AM. How fast is my Internet going to be? Will I be able to download my coveted games in mere seconds instead of hours? Will websites load in a blink? How fast will my photos upload? I am so giddy with glee! It is Christmas morning here at Andrew's house. We're just waiting for Santa to arrive.

I thoroughly cleaned my computer room yesterday afternoon polishing and dusting everything computer and noncomputer related. It really looks nice in here after a little spit and polish and I am ready for their arrival. I will just stand at the door and marvel at my handiwork for quite some time. Everything looks so good and shiny. The only thing I can't fix is the musty odor of dog and smoldering cigarettes. I should have run by Kroger yesterday and bought some Febreeze.

An Every Two Week Tale...

It was that time again -- time for my injection. My father has new work hours and only works a half day Monday and a full day Tuesday. He has the rest of the week off and is slowly easing into retirement finally. Fortunately, he had brought the injection home with him Tuesday. I drove by his house and picked it up. I then headed to Kamath Medical.

"You look nice!" my nurse said echoing my father's words when she invited me back to the examining room. "You are doing well with your New Year's resolution."

I blushed and told her a hearty thank you. It really meant a lot to me. I had taken a shower and dressed in some brown Sebago leather shoes, khaki pants, and a nice teal button-up shirt. My hair was very carefully combed and I was clean shaven -- clean and smooth as a baby's bottom.

I could barely feel the injection today which was very nice. Sometimes it feels as if I am getting stuck by a red-hot poker. I pulled my pants back up and congratulated Rebecca on today's smooth procedure.

"Can we move my injection to Tuesdays?" I then asked Rebecca. "That way it will be on a day my father is at work."

"That would be fine," Rebecca told me. "I'm here all day on Tuesdays."

"Will the lobby be full?" I then asked warily, afraid of getting tangled in a mess of sick patients.

"You will be fine," Rebecca said with a smile knowing me well. "Dr. Kamath doesn't come in until 10:30 on Tuesdays."

The receptionist already had my next appointment set up and I was too shy to tell her to move it to Tuesday. I didn't want to impose on her and make her go to too much trouble. I thanked her, Pat, and Dee Dee and headed out the door. I hurried back to my father's house and told him he was going to have to call and change the appointment. He was just glad I had asked about it and found out that Rebecca was available on Tuesdays as well.

"Come inside for a second and check out my Netflix," dad said. "I can't get it to work."

I immediately found the problem and it was the battery in his remote. One of my mantras, when it concerns computers and electronics, is to always look for the simplest thing first. Dad, amazingly, had a few spare CR2032 coin cell batteries in his Honda for his car's remote entry key fob. We changed the battery and he was back online. The reason I am so familiar with this battery is they are the same batteries used on computer motherboards.

Comment Replies...

Sharyn Bella Asked...

How many Mbps or GBs or whatevers does a person need to run a streaming service such as Sling TV? I know there's got to be something cheaper!!

Andrew Replies...

You need a minimum download speed of 3 Megabits per second (my current internet speed of 30 Mbps) to watch a single video stream in clear, standard definition. The best Internet speed for HD streaming is 5 Megabits per second (50 Mbps), and if you go all the way up to 4K streaming, or ultra HD, your bandwidth should start at 25 Megabits per second (250 Mbps).

Dad has streaming Netflix and he loves it -- watches videos all the time on it. It will even stream YouTube. We watched The Queen in HD with Helen Mirren last week and the picture was crystal clear and I know my father doesn't have any kind of fancy internet or wireless connection. I think it is like $10 or $12 dollars a month. Be aware that you need a wireless internet connection, though, which can be inexpensively bought at Walmart.

Groceries Are Squared Away...

I was sitting in dad's den this afternoon when he asked me if I wanted to go ahead and purchase my groceries out of the blue. He's always afraid of getting "caught" to go shopping during the day. I told him sure. That would be great. It really surprised me. I only spent $68 dollars. I was finished shopping in a flash.

"Just a friendly reminder. Here's some Fabuloso," he said as I was choosing my frozen meals for the week. "Mop the hardwood floor in your computer room before WOW! comes."

I tell ya. My father is just like Hyacinth Bucket. "Bouquet"  Those WOW! technicians aren't going to be looking at my floor.

One of These Days...

Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood...

"Are you hungry?" dad asked me over the phone around 11 AM.

I was very glad to hear from him. He sounded upbeat.

"I am about out of groceries," I replied. "Yes, I am hungry."

"Are you dressed?" he then asked. "I've still got my pajamas on."

I could sense a plan formulating by the minute.

"Come by the house and I'll give you enough money to get us two fried catfish plates and some sweet tea," my father said. "I'll call Roger's when I get off the phone with you and they should be ready when you get there."

I put on some tennis shoes and got underway. The troops had been mobilized. Dad then called me back as I was leaving the house and asked me if I wanted a one-piece meal or a two-piece meal. Two-piece, of course, I told him.

Dad gave me $25 dollars and I drove across the Chattahoochee into West Point.

"Andrew?" the lady with the glass eye said when I walked in the door. "Here are your catfish plates."

I paid and then hurried back to my father's house where we both ate our meals. Dad could only eat one of his two filets so Maggie got a treat when I got back home.

WOW! Speed Test

This is my speed this morning. I will test again on Friday and we will see how much of a difference there is. 

Comment Replies...

Blogger amelia said...

Wasn't he going to give Helen a car at one point?

Andrew Replies...

Amelia, I can't remember if he was going to or not.

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Blogger glittermom said...

Is the CRV in your fathers name?

Andrew Replies...

Glittermom, the title is in my name.

Tread Carefully, Andrew...

"Dad? Can I come to the pharmacy and get two sodas?" I asked my father over the phone this afternoon. "I need some caffeine and sugar."

I had to call to see what kind of mood he was in.

"Now, dress up some," my father replied. "Don't come down here in a t-shirt and your pajama bottoms."

I chuckled loudly. I wanted to say, "Yes Hyacinth!"

"I've got news for you and you are going to be thrilled," dad told me. "They are coming Friday to install your new Gigabit internet service. I went ahead and got you the highest speed they offer. I signed the papers today."

Well, I just started gushing. It was Christmas in February. I almost couldn't believe it.

"I am going to give you a big kiss on the cheek tonight," I told my father as he laughed.

"Now, clean up your computer room before they come," dad told me naggingly. "And don't get so excited you get in a wreck on the way down here."

I will be going from 30 Mbps to 1000 Mbps.

Good Tidings and Great Joy!

"Get everything out of your car you want to keep," my father said tonight during the smoke and Coke ritual. "I am going to give Matt your car next week. I want to get it cleaned up good as well for Matt -- get it washed and waxed."

I was flabbergasted and overjoyed.

"Are you serious?" I asked him astonished.

I had the look on my face like when Princess Leia told Han Solo that Luke was her brother.

"You love him don't you?" Han Solo asked the Princess. "I won't stand in the way."

"Yes Han, he's my brother," Leia replied.

Han was gobsmacked as they then kissed.

"Sure am," dad said to me when I asked him if he was serious. "I want to get down to one car for me and get rid of all this car insurance I am paying for."

Dad currently has three cars. I have been waiting for this moment for a full year when he first announced he was giving me my mother's car. I am still cautious, though. My father is a terrible procrastinator. 

A Very Modest Computer Upgrade...

I am going to show these parts to my father tonight and I hope he will let me upgrade my computer. My main gaming rig is starting to show its age. I want to borrow some of mom's money and pay my father back $50 a month.

Mr. Clean!

My two chicken pot pies before consuming commenced...

"Well Andrew, you have been doing a great job keeping your kitchen clean," Charlie said last night as he poked his head into the den.

I beamed with pride as he said it and puffed up my chest in bravado as I smiled at my father.

"I smell a dead rat in your kitchen, though," Charlie told me.

I couldn't smell it, but my sense of smell is terrible. Something I inherited from my mother.

"They finally took the bait under the house," I told Charlie thankfully.

Charlie was looking for things to do so he cleaned and polished my stainless steel sink. All he had to do was take out yesterday's trash and give Maggie some fresh dog food and some water. I had polished the glass stovetop, wiped down my kitchen counters, and mopped the floor. I also mopped the floor in my bathroom as well.

"Let me see your bathroom," my father said ever nosey.

I turned on the light as my father gazed inside. My bathroom tends to be the dirtiest room in the house. It can look like a bunch of homeless people took a bath at times.

"Looks good!" he said. "I am proud of you Chuck."

Charlie brought my two chicken pot pies. I also got three chocolate chips cookies which I relished. They were nice and soft if fresh baked. There was also plenty of pot pie left for Maggie to have her fill. She ate every last bit of it.

Pussies Gone Awry...

Dad called me this morning at 6 AM. Fortunately, I was already dressed and up and going. I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen after cooking breakfast.

"I can't find Samantha and she has been gone all night," my father told me. "She usually comes back inside around 4 AM."

"I'll get out in the car and drive around the neighborhood," I told my father.

I pulled into my father's neighborhood and Samantha was sitting on the sidewalk in front of my father's neighbor's house. I coaxed her into the car and headed to Casa de Papa.

"Thank you so much," my father said as I handed him the cat. "I was worried to death about her."

"You are being a bad pussy," he told her scoldingly.

Well, I came home and laid down on the bed with Maggie, fell fast asleep, and didn't wake up until almost 4 PM this afternoon. I couldn't believe what time it was at first. It was like a time warp when my father called me from work and awakened me. I sure hope I sleep tonight. The last thing I need is to get waylayed on another term of nocturnal existence.

You Know They're Gonna Love Ya!

Charlie's the Man!

Charlie was running very early today. He arrived about 9:15 AM. Maggie caught his arrival before I did. She started to bark and whine in earnest. Yes! I hurried to the door just as Charlie was getting out of his car. I was glad to get my extra large Coke and Maggie devoured her bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. I was just too full from this morning's breakfast to imbibe in mine.

"What do you want for supper tonight?" Charlie asked me before he left.

"Get me two chicken pot pies and a Pepsi," I told Charlie, hoping that wasn't too excessive. "That way there will be plenty for Maggie and me."

"Johnny Otis is going to balk, isn't he?" I then asked Charlie. "It will be too expensive."

"Hell, I will make sure you get two pies," Charlie told me.

"Tell dad I will pay for them," I told Charlie.

Charlie was in a hurry to finish the rest of his deliveries while the food was still hot so I bid him adieu. 

Home of the Big Breakfast...

I got up at 6:30 AM and drove over to my father's house to get my one Benadryl and a pack of smokes. Yes, we are down to one Benadryl which is such a momentous occasion! It is rather amazing when I think about it. It makes me nervous as hell, but it was my idea to quit. My brain still craves diphenhydramine to a degree. Dad had left them in a Ziploc bag to thwart the rain on the back porch for me. He didn't want me to call and wake him up too early. Samantha wanted inside so badly, but I had to leave her hanging literally from the screen on the back porch screen door.

Maggie was pooped out this morning as she lay on the cool kitchen floor and I got some breakfast started. She was laying on her side when I started frying the bacon and soon was underfoot when the smell of that bacon began to waft through the kitchen and the rest of the house. The smell of percolating coffee has a very similar effect on us humans. I scrambled some eggs and made some very buttery cheese toast. Breakfast must have been a thousand calories this morning.

Charlie will be along in about two hours. I couldn't wait for Charlie to arrive I was so ravishingly hungry when I awoke. I will drink the Coke he brings and then put the biscuits in the fridge to be warmed up later in the day or tomorrow. I know one animal around here who will be able to pack in one more bit of breakfast. Maggie will eat the sausage patty and go bury the biscuits in the backyard as they are not her forte.

This Song Makes Me Think of My Mother...

Automobile Roulette...

I was sitting in my father's den this morning when he announced to me he was now giving my car to Matt the computer guy at the pharmacy.

"I was worried it might offend him or hurt his feelings by suggesting it," my father told me as he ate his grape jelly and buttered toast for breakfast. "But I asked him anyway and he said he would love to have your car."

I went along with the idea although I thought giving it to J.W. was a better idea. J.W. would appreciate it more. He's been my father's yardman for years. J.W. did so much to help me keep my 1972 Chevelle running as smooth as a top when I was in high school. He also named his firstborn child after me.

"Matt's car is a 1991 Nissan Pathfinder with over 300,000 miles on the clock," my father then told me. "Your car will be like getting a new car to him."

Mark my words that this means that something will get done about my car and my mother's car rather quickly now. My father is very, very fond of Matt and will not want to let him down or let him linger in hope.

Someone Had a Night Off to My Dismay...

"Where is Mrs. Camille?" I asked the lumberingly tall and impeccably dressed black fellow who was checking me out.

"She's got the night off," he told me blithely as he continued to ring up my groceries.

You could tell I looked and felt crestfallen. She has gotten to be my buddy -- always so glad to see me. She always goes extra gracious miles and beyond for me when I shop at the Pig. The manager last night was a stern looking older black lady who probably wouldn't have given me the time of the day.

"You forgot your mayonnaise," dad urgently said behind me as if in a panic. "I'll run and go get it. I want to get me some bananas, too!"

The cashier continued to ring me up. I had told my father to be sure and remind me. We can't have grilled chicken breast sandwiches without mayonnaise for my special sauce. My George Foreman grill is going to get some good use tonight. I am going to soak the chicken breasts in a light brine for an hour and then grill them up and serve them on some hoagie rolls.

Earlier, it was 9 PM when my father called me and told me he was ready to go. I had begun to sweat so to speak in that the Pig closes at 10 PM. I hurried to the grocery store and got started shopping with my father following shortly behind me. He helped me pick out my frozen meals for the weekend.

"How is this Stouffer's lasagna?" he asked.

"Look at the price for that little box," I told my father.

It was $4.25 for that little frozen meal. Too rich for my blood. We ended up getting some Marie Callendar meals that were on sale for $2 dollars and some change.

I evoked my Auschwitz Mantra last night in that if I was a concentration camp victim, I would just love to wait for so long to then get some nutritious food to eat. I shouldn't really complain. My father is good to me and loves me. I lack for nothing. He can just be a pain in the ass at times.

The Pig On a Friday Night...

BAM!!!!

"Now, we've got to get back to buying groceries on Monday nights," dad told me over the phone with an admonishing tone. "We need to get back on schedule."

It has been a week since I last bought groceries. I am meeting my father at the Piggly Wiggly to get just enough food to get me by until Monday. I am buying mainly breakfast foods tonight. I told my father I would spend around $60 dollars and he didn't balk.

"Do you want to meet me at 7 PM?" I asked, ready to go. "I'll go ahead and get started."

"That's too early for me," my father replied. "I have to watch Jeopardy. I will call you when I am ready."

Well, that pissed me off royally. Am I just supposed to sit over here until he makes some nebulous call?

"How about eight?" I then asked trying to get a definite time.

"I'll call you," my father said and he got off the phone.

I have a good mind just to head on over there, debit my groceries, and then head home and unload. That would blow Old Fuss and Feathers out of the water. Yes, I do think that's what I am going to do.

"But you need a moderator and you might buy a case of beer."

POPPYCOCKS!!!!

Good Morning Vietnam!

We're not doing so well here at Andrew's Casa this morning. We're just barely functioning. I just saw Maggie start down the hall from the bedroom. She leaned up against the wall to steady herself and stayed there for ten minutes like she was trying to decide what to do next. I couldn't help but chuckle loudly.

Hell, I don't even want a cigarette I am so sleepy and that is usually the first thing I do when I wake up and that is to light up. My sore neck woke me up this morning. I can't look left without a ton of pain.

I haven't even turned my omnipresent music on which is very uncharacteristic of me. I think I will listen to Rickie Lee Jones' first album to start the day off. I've got a flac recording of that album that is just exquisite to the ears.

George got a big surprise this morning when he walked out to his car and it wouldn't crank! I heard the characteristic staccato chatter, chatter, chatter, of an electricity-starved solenoid and starter motor. I will get out later and help him get it started. I've got a nice and long set of jumper cables thanks to dear Martha. Mom believed in being prepared for emergencies. You just can't crank a car 12 times in a day for a few minutes every day and hope the battery holds up. George and I had a long conversation yesterday while I was working on my car. He's a really good guy. Just a little rough around the edges.

What a Rigmarole...

My car's turn signal lamp went out. I was afraid I was going to get a ticket. I've been driving it for like a week with it burned out. I found a video on YouTube that showed me how to replace it. I saved the video and drove down to AutoZone to get a new bulb which was just $6.99. That didn't take but for a few minutes. I got home and got the tools I needed, a prybar and a large screwdriver, and then I headed outside.

You have to go through the splash guard in the wheel well to get to my turn signal lamp. It was the most convoluted thing I've ever seen and poor design work on Honda's part. I pulled it away carefully popping the rivets. I pulled out the bulb assembly and changed the bulb. I then did everything in reverse. The splash guard was a bugger to get back in place and secured, though. I should have just taken it to the shop, but I didn't know when I could get my father to go with me. He hasn't been very reliable these days when it concerns me and my needs. At least, all it cost me was $6.99 and some elbow grease.

It's A Low Down Dirty Shame...

I don't know what to really say about the school shooting yesterday. I do know that there is not enough adequate mental health care in America. We can all thank Reagan for that when he closed all the mental hospitals. I am one of the lucky mentally ill few that got disability and Medicare and I now have my doctor's visits and medications paid for. My medications cost almost $17,000 last year. If this guy would have gotten some therapy, a psychiatrist, and some medications, maybe all of that wouldn't have happened. There's got to be some kind of safety net put in place for these kinds of people who would commit such acts of horror. Getting expelled from school due to disciplinary reasons is a very sure sign that something is not quite right. Not too many kids get expelled from school.

We Welcome Surf and Turf...

I will never say my father can't surprise me at times. Dad had been out to lunch with a colleague at Red Lobster. I was sitting at my computer when I saw him pull up in front of the house. I walked out to his car to greet him.

"Here's you a to-go box of two lobster tails and a steak," he said in a hurry. "Eat them while they are still hot. I am in a hurry to go watch Dr. Phil."

I laughed at the Dr. Phil part and then thanked my father profusely. I think Dr. Phil is a know-it-all blowhard who takes advantage of other people's problems. Dad watches when he can on the Oprah Winfrey Network.

"Love you bunches," he said as he was climbing back into his car and sped off.

He has a DVR and I don't know why he doesn't use it. I've shown him several times how to record a show.

On the Diet Coke Front...

I've had a miserably splitting headache and I know it is from lack of caffeine. I have drunk six diet Cokes a day for years and years. I decided today that I am only going to have two a day for awhile and that's it. Moderation is the key and my father agreed. Dad's worried I am trying to cut out too many addictions and will get myself into a mental mess.

A Song For You! A Song I Love...

Maggie's Arch Nemesis Arrived...

There is one thing that gets Maggie's panties in a twist more than any other thing. It is the meter reader. All our meters, except the water meter, are on the back of my house within the fence. Maggie wasn't brave today and it tickled me. She stood at the dog door with her head stuck out and barked viciously for about 30 minutes. A big smile formed on my face and I started to laugh at Maggie's timidness. The meter reader exited out of the fence on the other side of the house and Maggie tore out the dog door viciously barking with new found courage. Usually, Maggie is trying to nip at his heels as he brandishes a big stick and fights her off. I usually try to shut the dog door, but he is on foot and I don't hear the gate open in time.

I Missed the Early Worm...

Maggie and I both woke much later than usual at 9:30 AM this morning. We were in the bed around 8 PM last night so we got lots of good sleep. Sleep is such a wonderful thing if you are prone to insomnia like me. I have felt really blessed these past two weeks to be getting a good night's sleep.

I scrambled some eggs and made cheese toast this morning. Mrs. Camille's words echoed in my mind of her astonishment about how many eggs I buy a week. Dad will roll his eyes and say my cholesterol is probably higher than hell.

I then got on Facebook to see what everyone was up to this morning and overnight. I am dabbling in it again, but it can be overwhelming for someone as sensitive as me. I no longer write about my personal life on Facebook. I save that for my blog where I have a smidgen of anonymity. I do immensely enjoy all the model railroading pages on Facebook, though, and can spend an hour looking at them.

Addictions Be Gone...

I am wearily tired of being addicted to things.

• For a few weeks, I was addicted to over the counter flu remedy. I would drink two little cups every morning and get a buzz. I cut that out over a week ago. 
• I was addicted to Diet Cokes and I have now gone two days without them. 
• Dad was giving me six Benadryl every night for anxiety. I was supposed to only take two every few hours, but I would take all six after my father left and would get a nice buzz. It was my idea and we have now cut them down to two a night taking one less a week. Two more weeks and I will be off of Benadryl. The withdrawal has been pretty hard to bear for such a seemingly innocuous drug. 
• I also smoked two packs of cigarettes a day and now I am down to one.

Progress, but not perfect.

Comment Replies...

Blogger glittermom said...

Are you still drinking all those gallons of milk you would buy with your groceries.

Andrew Replies...

Yes, I do Glittermom. I have two and a quarter gallons left since last Friday when I bought groceries. I mainly eat it with my frosted flakes cereal. I buy a giant bag of Malt-O-Meal frosted flakes every week.

A Slight Interrogation...

"So, what's this about you not drinking Cokes anymore?" my father asked as I sat in the recliner next to him this afternoon.

"I can still have a Coke every now and then," I told him. "I just can't have six at one time. I can't seem to moderate my consumption. I drink Diet Cokes like I used to drink beer."

"I will still get my two sugary sodas at grocery time as a treat," I added as well.

"Well, at least you are being honest and talking about it," my father replied as he handed me my pack of cigarettes for the day.

"Would you truly drink all six at once?" he then asked with a wince.

"All six, back to back, like a man possessed."

"Well, no wonder you were feeling sick!" dad exclaimed with a hearty chuckle. "I drink my one Diet Coke in the morning with breakfast and I might have one more in the afternoon watching television."

We Shall Have the Smokes, But No More Cokes...

I couldn't put a finger on why I was feeling so off lately. I had read recently that aspartame breaks down into formaldahyde which is also used as embalming fluid. I drank three diet Cokes this morning in quick succession and realized that was why I was feeling badly. I felt much better after I began to drink cold water out of the fridge which is my mainstay. I am going to have to give them up and that will just shock my father when I tell him. He will think something's bad wrong with my thinking processes.

A Song that Always Touches My Heart...

Let Them Eat Chicken...

You know Putin is laughing his ass off that they got that buffoon in the oval office. Divide and conquer as the old saying goes. It certainly has polarized our country.

*********************

"I hope that's hookers and beer in the back seat and not our Horsefly," I told Charlie as he sat in his car gathering my and Maggie's supper.

Dad and Charlie had just pulled up in front of my house with Sunday night fried chicken. Charlie burst out laughing. Horsefly mimicked Charlie's laugh heartily like an automaton.

"You look like hookers and beer," my father said chuckling as he escaped the passenger's side of Charlie's Caprica.

Dad had remembered my Cokes and smokes for which I was so very relieved and happy. He can be a tad bit forgetful at times. I had three cigarettes left and was starting to sweat in nervousness.

"I didn't do so well cleaning wise this week," I told our Charlie sounding sorrowful. "I haven't felt well mentally this afternoon."

Maggie was busy following Horsefly as he paced from room to room turning the lights on and off. My toilet got flushed a quite a few times as well. Horsefly's language skills continue to deteriorate. His conversations to himself were a jumble of staccato words I could barely make out.

Charlie had the kitchen clean and the trash gathered in a matter of minutes.

"It wasn't bad at all," Charlie told me walking back into the den carrying one gigantic trash bag.

That was my father's cue to get up and leave after being fixated with the television.

"Love you Jon-Tom," Charlie told me with his pet name for me and they were gone.

Maggie and I have a pact. I get a few bites of our chicken pot pie and I give her the rest. It is currently cooling on the kitchen counter.

Bacon, Egg, and Cheese...

The phone rang twice and I called my father back a moment ago. I've been up since seven reinstalling Windows 10 on one of my more troublesome computers. It turned out to be the memory management on the motherboard. I'll break it to my father that I need to order another motherboard from Newegg tonight or tomorrow. Boy, is he going to grumble.

"Charlie's on the way," he said in the middle of a coughing fit. "I told him we wanted bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits this morning. I am tired of sausage biscuits."

It sounded like my father was coughing up a lung. He still has had long-term lingering effects from that terrible flu. I escaped relatively unscathed.

"I was tired of sausage biscuits as well," I told my father feeling a breath of fresh air. "But I wouldn't dare tell Charlie that."

"Maggie?" I said loudly from the den. "Charlie is on the way!"

Maggie flew off the bed and got in the window on the back of the couch to hold vigil until Charlie's arrival. I am now sitting at my computer in the computer room with a birdseye view of the street in front of my house. I am ready to tell Maggie that Charlie is here when he arrives. I hope she puts on a good and grand show of affection for Charlie. She hasn't had many visitors this week.

We Have One Deliriously Happy Dog Here...

Well, Maggie would have put on a parade if it were in her power. She had a fit at Charlie's arrival. I haven't seen her this happy in weeks.

"Well, bless your heart darlin'," Charlie said to her over her fervent and affectionate barking. "I love you, too!"

She's settled down some and is eating her breakfast. I think she was as overjoyed at bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits as my father and I were. I am so happy at her joy.

A Song For You!

Use the Code, Father...

The phone rang several times very early this morning and I didn't answer out of fear. Finally, the phone rang twice and quit. I called my father back.

"You're a hard man to get in touch with," my father told me sounding exasperated.

"You know the code," I told him scoldingly. "You had my heart pounding at the earlier calls. I didn't know what to do."

He wanted to know if I slept well last night and to see if I am enjoying having food in the house. Dad was also very kind last night and brought me my Cokes and smokes which I forgot to get earlier in the day yesterday. There was a surprise knock on my door last night which caught Maggie and I both off guard.  Usually, Maggie goes totally gangbusters at my father's arrival, but she was sound asleep on the bed and looked dazed. She stood at the front door without even a whimper or a bark.

"Maggie and I had canned flaky Pillsbury biscuits, bacon and scrambled cheese eggs for breakfast this morning," I told him excitedly. "You know how we love breakfast and breakfast foods."

"Can I come and sit in mom's car for a moment?" I then asked my father changing the subject. "I want to covet!"

My father laughed loudly.

"Hell, you can take it for a drive," my father told me. "It hasn't been cranked in over a month. Blow the cobwebs out of the engine."

Mom's car just lingers and languishes in the garage and has for over a year.

I hurried over to my father's house and quickly drove mom's car out Spring road and back. It is such a nice car. It is in pristine condition for a 2008 Honda Civic with only 48,000 miles on the clock. It did have only 44,000 miles on it, but Charlie drove the shit out of it for two weeks when his Caprica was having trouble. We all laughed when I jokingly told Charlie he was driving the shit out of my car.

"I am going to get on the ball about that car in the next two weeks and get it in your name," my father told me upon my return. "I've decided we are going to give your car to J.W."

J.W. is my father's yardman and still drives a threadbare 1976 Chevrolet pickup. I thought that was an awesome idea on my father's part. I fully and wholeheartedly endorsed his plan and will just have to buy a new computer some other time. I was going to sell my car for $2500 dollars and build a new Threadripper processor based computer.

LOL!

Comment Replies...

Blogger PipeTobacco said...
Sir:

Take a photo of you with your goatee!!!! I bet it looks good on you.

PipeTobacco

Andrew Replies...

Pipe, it is still in the birthing stages and sort of scraggly. I will post a picture when it fills out some more.

Strike While the Iron is Hot...

I inexplicably got in the mood to grocery shop this afternoon. I didn't want to wait until tonight with the onset of the cold and all the rain that is on the way. I wanted to get it over with. I was also terribly sleepy and needed something to do to keep me awake. I knew if I took a nap, I wouldn't sleep tonight.

"Are you available?" I delicately asked Old Fuss and Feathers over the phone.

"Yeah," he said warily. "Why?"

"Let's go to the Pig and get my groceries," I told him. "Leave fifteen minutes behind me and I will be ready to go when you get there."

"Sounds good to me," my father replied chirpily with an upbeat tone to his voice.

"I am dying for a cold glass of milk and some warm honey buns," I told him as we got off the phone.

It didn't take me but 15 minutes to shop. Mrs. Camille was ringing up my groceries when my father walked into the grocery store. He slid the debit card to my account in the credit card receptacle and we were ready to go.

"See ya next week!" I told Mrs. Camille as she wished me well and told me to stay dry.

I was frivolous tonight and got a key lime pie and a lemon meringue pie. One, that I haven't decided yet, is going in the freezer for a rainy day. Both taste so good. I also got my Maggie a six-pack of Vienna sausages and she has just scarfed down two cans. She has mainly just had dog food this week and hasn't had many treats and I am sure she was overjoyed.

The Hunter, Charlie, and Papa...

The phone rang several times this afternoon and I was hesitant to answer it. My father rarely if ever calls me from work.

"Hello?" I answered as I threw caution to the wind.

"Come and get your Cokes and smokes," Old Fuss and Feathers said. "I got off of work early."

I told my father I am having trouble with anxiety today and wouldn't be able to make it to the grocery store this afternoon as he intended. He said that was fine and he would get me up some good stuff from his pantry to eat.

"The guy that leases my timberland to go deer and turkey hunting is taking Charlie and me out to eat," my father said. "We are going to eat steaks at the Hunter's Pub at the Columbus crossroads."

The Hunter's Pub has one of the best porterhouse steaks I have ever eaten.

Dad was going to make Janice's beef stroganoff for supper, but the change of plans made him give me all the ingredients and he wrote down the recipe. I also got a fresh loaf of honey wheat bread and some cold cuts dad had in the fridge.

"That ought to get you by until tomorrow," my father told me. "We are going to have to go grocery shopping for you tomorrow, though."

Knocked My Feet Right Out From Under Me...

My injection didn't hit me until 2 PM and boy did it do a number on me. I felt flustered, the room began to spin, and my heart started to pound in my chest. I like to feel abnormal in a good way, but this was just too much to bear. Maggie and I laid down on the bed and it took two hours to pass -- the feeling of my injection that is. It has happened before, but never has it been this intense.

Comment Replies...

Blogger Sharyn Bellah said...
(And would it be possible for you to give me "read only" status on 4th Avenue Blues?)

Andrew Replied...
Most of those posts are incorporated into this blog. A few years after 2010 are missing as blogger gives me an error when I try to upload them. 

It is good to have you commenting again and it was even grander that you are alive and well. I am not ignoring your comments. Just a little overwhelmed that's all. You hit the ground running as far as commenting on my journal. 

Another Two Week Lease On Sanity...

I was especially nervous, anxious and skittish this morning. You could tell it was time for my injection. "Please let things go smoothly," I prayed to myself about my injection as I warily pulled out of my driveway and headed down busy highway 29 to the pharmacy.

I arrived at the pharmacy and the door was locked. I moaned as all the employees were running late. A dreaded and much-feared setback. Dad finally showed up holding a McDonald's bag and his senior coffee and quickly got to work filling my prescription as the other employees came trickling in. Old Fuss and Feathers was my lifesaver this morning.

I had just sat down in the lobby after signing in when Rebecca opened the door to the examining rooms and welcomed me back with a wonderful smile. Things were looking up. She is always so prompt and doesn't make me linger in the lobby.

"Are you okay?" Rebecca asked. "You seem agitated."

"I feel like I am going to have one of my classic and notorious anxiety attacks," I told her mournfully as I squirmed in my seat.

"Let's give you your injection and get you home," Rebecca replied as she began hurriedly putting together my dose of Risperdal Consta.

We dispensed with the small talk this morning.

I didn't dawdle at the pharmacy when I gave my father my next appointment card. I quickly grabbed two Snickers bars and two cherry Cokes and began to head for the door.

"Shave off that goatee," Old Fuss and Feathers told me with a frown. "It makes you look like your evil twin."

"You've been watching too much Star Trek," I told him with a chuckle and I skedaddled out of there arriving home safe and sound.

My dear Maggie was looking out the window for my return.

My injection will hit me in about an hour. I will feel a fleeting moment of euphoria and then I will get really drowsy. I am so happy to be home safe and sound despite a nail-biting and nerve-wracking morning.

Not My Usual Modus Operandi...

"Are you hungry?" I asked Maggie about an hour ago.

She knows that word well and licked her lips in excitement. My stomach was grumbling something fierce as well. I am unfortunately out of eggs, cheese and bacon. I drove down to McDonald's and got us a couple of egg McMuffins, an orange juice for me, and some hash browns. Maggie gobbled her's up like it was her last meal and then she wanted mine. Dog logic.

Does the Early Bird Actually Get the Worm?

I was in the bed at 6 PM and deeply asleep within minutes. I couldn't stay up any longer. It was like a time warp when my father knocked on the door at 8:30 PM with Cokes and smokes. It was his first full day of work in over two weeks. He is still congested and coughing, though.

"You are out of it," Old Fuss and Feathers said very worriedly, "Have you been taking something?"

I laughed half-heartedly in complete dismay.

"You always expect the worse out of me!" I told my father scoldingly. "I was just in a very deep sleep when you knocked on the door."

Dad said I was acting drunkenly.

Maggie came ambling into the den and collapsed on my hardwood floor with a grunt and a sigh. Usually, she is going gangbusters at my father's arrival. She was muted last night in her demeanor and response.

"Even Maggie's been taking something!" my father exclaimed with laughter.

Maggie was deep asleep as well relishing the time with me in the bed I explained.

My father wanted to see my medications and smell my breath. He said it would give him peace of mind. I took my nightly dose of two 1 mg Klonopin and a Coreg before I retired to the bed. Nothing was amiss. My father was afraid I had taken a bunch of my Klonopin which would have given a similar response. This kind of scrutiny gets old sometimes. I am 45 years of age.

Did I Hear Thunder?

The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to check the weather. Yes, we have a vigorous line of storms moving in. If you have read me any length of time, then you know how much this excites me.  They should roll through about 9 AM and then it is supposed to rain the rest of the day.