Refried Beans, Salsa, and Queso...

http://www.kitchme.com/

Mom and Mrs. Sandra were running very late tonight. Maggie and I were elated when they pulled up in front of my house. I kissed my mother on her cheek saying thank you and away they went after giving me a big honking bag of Mexican food.

I'm not big on refried beans at all, but I have found a way to eat them to my pleasure. I mix a cup of Pace salsa in with the beans, rice, and cheese. I then mix it all together for a tangy, rich amalgamation with a spicy bite and a kick to it. I often have to warm them for another minute or two in the microwave as well.

"Oh, I am forgetting your Cokes," my mother said coming to my rescue just before Mrs. Sandra hit the gas and drove off,

They were sitting upon the backseat of my mother's car. These will be a nice treat tonight after my father and I have taken my medications and fed and watered the Magster.

Now, I Can View the World in Pictures...

My Canon digital camera has been out of service for a few weeks with a broken mini USB port thwarting downloading any photos to my computer. I sent it to Canon weeks ago to get it repaired. I thought it would never get here due to the holidays and shipping matters. Package tracking says it should arrive tomorrow -- the package is in Lagrange to be delivered. Hopefully, I will have photos of my taking on the blog for the most part.

She's Rounding Third and She's Heading Home...

Bless mom's dear sweet heart! She remembered to bring my Cokes and a pack of Swisher Sweets tonight without any coercion on my part  - it was our Mexican meal night. I didn't have to drive and pick them up at my parent's house as I normally do and had put off going through that rigamarole for most of the day.

Maggie and I were sitting on the couch on lookout. It is just a fun game we like to play. Mom's car turned left at the bottom of my street and Maggie's ears pricked up as it is a very familiar sound for her.

"Guess who's here?" I asked my furry daughter, Maggie, as a tan Honda stopped at our house.

She knows that phrase extremely well. Maggie went nuts! Gamma dog was home! Yeehaw! Theta dog, my father, will be along in  just about an hour.

Mrs. Sandra has such a contagious and smile provoking laugh. I could almost hear her laughing at the bottom of the road. She is still driving my mother to the restaurant and back home. Mom can only drive to my house or to the beauty salon.

I profusely thanked Mrs. Sandra for doing this task for us. I also pretty much fear that my mother's driving days are over.

Nice View From My Front Stoop...

It is so nice to see Mrs. Sandra driving mom's car when they go to eat Mexican at El Rio Grande. It takes a load off my mind and a much heavier load off my shoulders -- especially now since it is getting dark so early. It was dark by 6PM tonight.

Sandra will park mom's car in the garage and then head home in her own car. Mrs. Sandra has lived a tough life with much of it mired in poverty and strife, but she never quits smiling and laughing. That's the kind of person I want to be remembered as. "He never complained against all the odds he faced." That's why I keep my Auschwitz Mantra so near and dear.

"You did want chicken fajitas, didn't you?" mom asked breaking my train of thought.

"That's exactly what the doctor ordered," I replied with a smile.

Prelude...

I was sitting on the couch on lookout with the Magster when Mom's Civic came flying around the corner and pulled onto my street. Sandra rolled down the windows in preparation so mom could hand me my meal. Sandra was just laughing and laughing.

"Mom's car hasn't been driven that fast in years!" I told Mrs. Sandra kidding her. "You're going to blow the cobwebs out!"

"Oh hush!" Mrs. Sandra said and she laughed even more so.

¿Es hambre de México?

Viva La Mexico

Like clockwork on a Tuesday evening,  my mother just called me and told me she was bringing me my usual Mexican meal this evening.

"Thank you!" I replied sincerely and heartfelt as I always do.

The Magster and I were just laying in the bed "chilling" as I call it. Maggie was grooming herself diligently as I lay on my side and read this month's edition of Model Railroader magazine. I've gotten bitten by the model railroading bug really badly once again and I am catching up on all my past issues of my magazines I haven't read. Why did I have to pick two of the most expensive hobbies to get involved with such as model railroading and computers?

"Is Mrs. Sandra coming to pick you up?" I asked my mother warily.

"Your daddy just called and asked me the same thing," my mother said huffily. "I think I can drive fine to the Mexican restaurant. It only just a few miles from the house. Your daddy told me that if I had another accident driving then I am not going to be able to drive anymore."

"Remember, it is going to be very dark tonight when you eat as the time has changed," I told my mother.

"Hell, mom, I can barely drive at night and you are double my age," I then said to my mother worriedly.

She blew loudly out of frustration just like a petulant child and told me that maybe I was right.

If mom's memory would serve her correctly, then she would remember falling into the bushes at the restaurant when she drove there a few months ago. Her ending drive to the restaurant to be exact.

¿Te gusta martes mexicano?

Yes, it is Mexican night. Mrs. Sandra keeps picking up my mother since she fell into the bushes at the restaurant on that fateful pharmaceutical-fueled night many weeks ago. It is amazing she made it home without an accident. Mrs. Sandra always laughs and has a superbly good temperament about it all as she always has.

Mom called me about an hour ago. I was lying asleep at 2:30 PM with Maggie by my side. Don't ask me why. I must've been tired I guess. Maggie was certainly enjoying this little escape from our lives. I've kinda had some depression going on with me, but I haven't talked about it much online or with my family.

"Are you alive? I am bringing your usual," mom said after several missed calls.. "Is fajitas fine?"

"Sounds delicious to me," I replied to my mother as I thanked her in turn.

Last week fajitas's were really good so I hope we have a good repeat of last Tuesday.

Weirdville Week...

I have also came down with a very nasty urinary tract infection yesterday. I felt as if I was urinating pins and needles.

"You know it is very odd for a man to have a urinary tract infection," my father told me accusingly.

My father also called me early this morning that Dr. Kamath called me in some medicine to the pharmacy that should help me.

"I'll bring it to you tonight," my father told me over the phone.

A Chuck Wagon that is Also Called a Honda Civic...

http://iowagirleats.com/

"Just what in the hell are you doing?" Charlie asked playfully when I answered the phone.

Thank bejeebus for caller I.D. that I got set up today. My mother was complaining to my father in that I never answer the phone.

"I am waiting on Mrs. Martha to bring my Mexican meal," I told him. "You know. Mom and Mrs. Sandra eat at the Mexican restaurant every Tuesday night. They've been doing that for years and years."

Maggie was standing next to the phone briskly wagging her tail. She wanted to know just what was going on this late in the day.

"What do you get at that restaurant?"

"I always get the chicken fajitas," I replied.

"You know I don't eat pizza, Chinese, or Mexican food," Charlie said stalwartly.

I chuckled at Charlie being so finicky. It reminded me of my brother. Charlie is a soul food kind of guy and that is how Janice, his wife, cooks. Turnip greens, hot sauce, and cornbread? Mrs. Janice has got your back.

"Where are you now?" I asked the Charles Meister.

"I am just passing through Lafayette and will be home in 30 minutes."

http://altonbrown.com/

Dark Storm Clouds On the Horizon...

I just woke up early this morning with thoughts of my mother on my mind. I am deeply worried about her fueled by my own trials and tribulations with addiction and substance abuse. She has a tough row to hoe ahead of her if she is to recover.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes, put on some shoes, and went and got a cold soda from the fridge. I sat down in front of this computer to try to get my jumbled thoughts and mind together enough to write a decent blog post. My brain was going every which way and that. It was a busy day yesterday -- a day full of those family secrets best forgotten and not talked about. Things swept under the rug as they say.

Mrs. Sandra ran my Mexican meal to me last night. Which kind of alarmed me as it was a very somber occasion indeed. I just knew something bad or crazy had happened.

"What has happened now?" I asked Mrs. Sandra instinctively as her grand-kids jostled in the backseat.

"Andrew?" Mrs. Sandra said. "Your mother's been taking something tonight.  She was acting all strange and then she fell into the bushes at the Mexican restaurant and we almost couldn't get  her out."

"Sandra, I shouldn't be talking for her, but she is addicted to Xanax," I replied. "She takes up to 12 at a time."

Sandra said my mother could barely get up the steps of their home when my father miraculously arrived home early and took over.

"Your father just told me to bring your meal and then head home," Sandra told me.

"You always call me when something like that happens and I will take care of it," I  told Sandra.

Could You Light Up the Sky? For He is Happy!

http://www.flickriver.com/

I am in an especially uncommonly good mood and demeanor this afternoon. The first thing I did was give Maggie a big bear hug (which she didn't like because of her boundaries and all). Breakfast was a big glass of whole milk and two creme filled doughnuts which about drove Maggie Crazy.

There was also a hard lump in the bed when the Mags and I woke up this afternoon.  It was the old slimy beef bone that I gave Maggie last Christmas Eve. The Magster had found it and dug it back up to accompany her back inside. But why the bed?  My father's going to give a great guffaw over this Maggie antic tonight.

"That's why I don't like pets being in the house," my father has told me several times lately about the vagabond cat that is living with them now.

"What are you going to do when it gets really cold in the winter?" I asked worried about that poor cat.

"I am going to fix her a bed and she can sleep in the garage."

Blessed Be the Yardmen, But Watch Them Carefully...

Speaking of Maggie, today Lopez Landscaping was coming so I was proactive and locked the dog door before bed.  The yard guys left early this afternoon and I let Maggie out after checking all three fence gates in the backyard. Maggie tore out that dog door about as fast as I could open it.

Gotta go pee... And I mean bad!

I am lucky with the Magster as we have never had an accident inside for the eight years I have lived here.  

Plan B...

"What time is Sandra picking you up to go eat?" I asked my mother over the phone later this afternoon.

"6 'o' clock," my mother said. "I will put your sodas on the backseat of my car."

"If Mrs. Sandra can't go then I will pick you up and we will go," I told her.

My mother told me thanks, but she  was unsure she was going to be able to make it herself. She said she was shaky -- a term coined by me and often used when I am having a rough day.

Think Twice, Look Thrice...

I was asleep in my lazy boy with Maggie's huge mass on my lap when I heard mom's car's horn blow loudly outside. Maggie flew out of my lap to look outside. I looked at the clock on my wall. 7:00 pm. Right on time.

"I can't believe she drove after all that we've been through with her!" was what I was thinking as I stood up to go outside. I felt like an angry parent with a petulant child.

I walked out the front door to find Mrs. Sandra at the helm of mom's car.

"Mrs. Sandra!" I exclaimed jovially. "I thought momma had driven when I heard her car horn!"

Sandra just laughed and laughed.

"We fooled ya!" she said laughing even more.

Lunch Lady Land...  Is also what I was thinking!

Sandra handed me my olfactory pleasing Mexican meal and took my mother home to get Sandra's car. Mrs. Sandra is a bonafide lunch lady. She was supervisor for a local school's lunch room for years and years and retired.

Momma Borrowed My Namesake Tonight and that is "Shaky"...

https://www.erowid.org

"Mom, you don't need to be driving like this," I sternly told my mother in exasperation. "I am going to drive you home after we finish with this."

She grabbed my arm in senior fashion as I helped her amble across my front yard.

"But your daddy will find that suspicious!" mom exclaimed.

"Well, it surely is better than me getting a call from the police telling me you've been in an accident or had harmed someone else in the process. What would dad say then?"

"I guess you are right," my mother said finally giving in and huffing like a petulant teenager.

The Secretary had to come inside carrying my Mexican Meal and she also brought Maggie's flea treatment and her heartworm chewies. Maggie also got some Vienna sausages for being such a good girl and taking all her medicine. Giving Maggie her medications has been a colossal struggle for years until a kind blog reader diverted my attention to those pill pockets at Petco which are made out of smoky tasting peanut butter.

"How many pills did you take tonight?" I asked. "Now, be honest with me. You can't bullshit a bullshitter."

She said 3 alprazolam, but I, Andrew, can take 3 Clonopin and feel perfectly fine. She took way more pills than that.

Well I'll Be a Hot Tamale...

http://www.seriouseats.com/

"Andrew, this is your momma," my mother said over the phone. "Don't forget I am bringing your Mexican meal tonight. Do you still want the chicken fajitas?"

"Yes ma'am," I replied. "I appreciate you doing this every Tuesday,"

I had forgotten about our Tuesday Mexican treat and it was a nice surprise.

"I am bringing you your diet Cokes as well," mom said. "Do you want any cigarettes?"

Well, this just kept getting better and better. I've actually been able to quit smoking again and told mom she better not bring the smokes lest I succumb to their wily ways yet once again.

Midnight is Right Around the Corner...

I've Got Your Auschwitz and You Can Have Your Birkenau...

http://isurvived.org/

My father just left after the medication ritual and Maggie's ritual. My father took this moment to severely chastise me in that I was leaving too much food on my kitchen counters (It was our Mexican dinner tonight). He didn't give me a chance to explain. He said I was going to get an infestation of bugs or las cucarachas as they say in Spanish. I had to evoke my personal Auschwitz mantra to keep my sanity.

"Just be glad you are no longer homeless," is what I was thinking. "Be thankful for what you have and be thankful for the meal you partook in this evening."

The chicken fajitas were delicious tonight, by the way.

I know it's sheer pacifism, but it works for me. I try to never let  myself stress or sweat the small stuff. I was my father's personal punching bag tonight -- his problems and not mine.. He was just tired and cranky from working 10 hours today. I still love him and always will.

Let's Go All the Way...

My father says I am an all or nothing fellow. He's pretty much right in that assessment and my long time friend Pipe Tobacco who has has read me the longest will probably agree. I will do things all the way or do nothing of the sorts.

I went to sleep around 11pm last night in the front bed in the computer room. Maggie and I both about can't fit on that small bed together. Like magic, I drifted off and didn't wake up until noon the next day. Maggie and I were doing some serious sleeping. I don't think the Magster moved all night as well.

There Be Icebergs Out There...

Mom just called and sounded drunk as a cooter on top of other complications I have today.

"Did you try to call me?" she asked.

"No I didn't and don't try to go anywhere without calling me first," I told the sinking Titanic. "I will take you wherever you need to go."

She called me right back and told me she was bringing me a Mexican meal tonight. I took the opportunity to tell her I was driving over to get my sodas for the day. She left my parent's back door open.

"Please, call me before you go," I told her standing in the den. "I don't want you getting a DUI or hurting others!"

"No Cigars For You!" Said the Anti Smoking Nazi...

I've been craving cigarettes something badly lately, Mainly this week was uncomfortable--so I decided to cut out the cigars yesterday to see if that was the craving culprit. So far, I haven't had any intense or showstopping withdrawals. Cigars and cigarettes are totally different beasts, though--being very, very different from each other. Cigars are to be savored for their aroma and taste, and cigarettes are just basically nicotine delivery devices.

"You're going to get yourself in deep doo doo," my father told me with a stern look last night as we walked across the parking lot of Kroger. "You just need to keep on smoking!"

He cited the peer reviewed study that 95% of all schizophrenics smoke. I thought he would be happy as the "hobby" can get expensive at times. Nothing is never, ever that simple in my humble little life.

"Nicotine calms and soothes those same misfiring receptors in your brain which also affects your mental illness," my father additively told me.

Buzzkill was what was going through my mind as he said that.

La Fiesta Time...

"Have you really made it all day without your cigars?" mom just asked me excitedly after delivering my Mexican meal.

I told her yes I had and that I am going to do this. I am going to quit smoking for good. Next time you enter my house you will not be enveloped in a dense cloud and a and the deep haze of cigar smoke. I also worry about Maggie inhaling all that secondhand smoke.

The Dog Days of Summer...

Sirius, the dog star, is here above the horizon and boy is he hot. The dog days of summer are well underway. This kind of weather keeps the Magster and I in the well air-conditioned indoors. It was a quick trip to go get my sodas a few minutes ago -- my car feeling like a blast furnace in the bowels of hell. My Honda was finally cooling down as I pulled in my parent's back driveway.

I didn't know Sirius was a binary solar system with Sirius A and the much smaller white dwarf star Sirius B (about the size of the earth).

"Don't forget I am bringing you a Mexican meal tonight," my mother told me sticking her head out of the back door as I reached for my cokes.

She startled me and I told her many thanks once I had regained my composure. I had cooked some pepperoni pizza hot pockets and will just save them for later.

I Better Start Looking for that Needle in the Haystack...

Because that's about how it feels. I don't have much hopes of getting my internet changed to a much higher speed. I am going try once more with asking my father if I could do something to help him in exchange. Remember, you always catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I ought to just be thankful for what I have, but this is very important to me.

Let's Lay This Day to Rest...

http://www.havingfunfirst.com/

Now that it is dark, my bat brethren have left their belfries.

It has just been one of those days, ya know? I am tired, haggard, and ready to go to bed. I will say that and I bet I am on this computer to way after midnight listening to music. Right now, I am on a big Linkin Park fixation. My teenage boy angst may have made a resurgence in my life. What would you consider the band Linkin Park? Metal? Rap?

Out of Tijuana...

Mom brought Mexican tonight and the chicken fajitas were better than usual. They always need to cook them more than they do and today they did. I shouldn't be complaining, though, as it is a real treat to get a restaurant meal every week. I often have to evoke my "Auschwitz Mantra" during these moments. Let no mouths go unfed.

"Look at the sky!" I told my mother very seriously as I stood by her car in the front yard.

"It looks ominous and dark," she replied when I then saw a bolt of lightning on the horizon.

"That means Martha needs to put the car in the garage and be somewhere safe when it hits."

"I am headed home now," my mother said who is usually oblivious to the weather.

You Look Healthy...

That's what my father told me tonight when he was giving me my medications.

"You looked like death warmed over for a few years there," my father told me not holding back at all.

Dad didn't sit down tonight as he din't want Maggie's hair all over his nice work clothes.I am sure Maggie was looking on the proceedings with an air of indignity.

I'll Have the Fried Las Cacarachas Please...

http://www.simplyrecipes.com/

It is Mexican Tuesday tonight. Mom confirmed with me in the last hour what I wanted to eat. I told her to get me the usual as in chicken fajitas. They will give me way more food than I could ever eat in one sitting and I am going to be gracious about the whole affair. The last time I deviated from fajitas and got chilies relleños, they messed up the dish and used bell peppers instead of poblano chilies. That was just a travesty for Mexicans everywhere.

A Day Late and a Dollar Short...

This was a first! Dad asked me last night if I was mad at him when he arrived very late last night. Usually, he could care less. It is also usually the other way around as I feel so insecure and codependent around him. He said he lost track of the time "computering". He didn't get here until 9:45pm to buy groceries.

"I just want one period of my life to have independence and money, and I want someone to have to wait on me for a change," I told my father bitingly. "I feel like I am in the army -- always hurry up and wait on someone else."

I actually wasn't mad at my father. I told him his emotional reading of me was wrong. I was just flabbergasted as to how I was going to get all this grocery shopping done yet one more time. It is sensory overload for me.

"I don't know why your daddy does that to you," my mother said later on the phone.

It Warms My Heart...

http://www.fooducate.com/

"You hungry?" I asked my Maggie as I put some scrambled eggs into a paper bowl.

Maggie's tail was wagging wildly as I smiled broadly. I also put two slices of very crispy bacon (the hallmark of Black Label bacon) in the bowl as well.

We had scrambled eggs, Black Label bacon, and White Lily frozen biscuits this morning for breakfast. It was such a good feeling to have food in the house again. A good feeling indeed!

I got several canisters of Kroger brand "Crystal Light" last night and it isn't half bad, but it sure was expensive. I also got 4 gallons of milk and two big bags of Kroger brand frosted flakes. My "sweets" this week were four slices of Edwards lemon meringue pie. I will have to be judicious and make them last all week.

My impulse buy was a $2.99 can of Kroger "salt and pepper" peanuts and they were absolutely terrible. I like spicy foods, but these were even too peppery for me.

Mom called me this morning and asked me if I got enough cereal. I got two bags where I normally get three. She stopped by on her way home from the hairdresser today to give some more money for frosted flakes so I wouldn't have to debit it later in the week.

I tell ya it's like feast or famine around this house every week. Tonight, mom is bringing me chicken fajitas for supper from El Rio Grande.

Hits and Misses...

http://www.centercutcook.com/

With El Rio Grande's fajitas you never know what you are going to get. Kind of like Forrest Gump's proverbial box of chocolates. Tonight's Mexican meal was exceptionally good. The chicken was tender and the veggies were crisp and fresh. There were ample amounts of tart and tangy fajita sauce as well. Most weeks it is mediocre fare with something wrong and awry with every meal.

Well, mom came pulling up in front of my house. I was on the kitchen computer as I am still wrangling with it -- whipping it into shape. Maggie went apeshit bananas in a good way so I knew somebody good had stopped by. Mom was not about to get out of the car and walk across my yard, though. She handed me my Mexican meal through her rolled down window.

"I am afraid I will fall on your steps," mom said in-between saying, "Hey baby doll! Hey, my baby Maggie!"

Maggie was just on the other side of my screen door joyously barking her fool head off as my mother egged her on. Maggie also got the rice, beans, and cheese so she will soon be emitting noxious, silent, but deadly gasses in a few days.

Low Key...

I am writing this from my brand new backup computer. I had a time getting the RAM to play nice last night. Right now, I have 24 GB of RAM installed running at 1866 MHz. I was pulling my hair out for a moment there yesterday afternoon. Now, all I have to do is secure it in its case and get this mess off my kitchen table.

We didn't have a cake yesterday. My birthday basically consisted of my driving over to take my medications, getting my computer parts, and then heading home. I didn't want much of a fuss anyway. Mom brought me chicken fajitas as well last night for supper.

I knew I was taking a chance on cheaply priced refurbished speakers. My left speaker of the unit I bought doesn't work. I was disappointed and will send it back for a refund and a possible purchase of a new set of these Logitech speakers. I have another set of Z523 speakers in my computer room and they sound great.