Have you found Jesus?

Well, I made it back but I am tired. I didn’t sleep well in the stifling heat last night even though I had a box fan blowing on me. The TV worked even though it has sat up in storage for years. It is a 1988 vintage emerson model. I could barely watch my programs as the picture was very snowy but I did enjoy them none the less.

This morning my great aunt went to church just down the road. I stayed home and fixed Sunday dinner. I fried the chicken and then mixed the biscuit dough and rolled them out on a wooden cutting board. I cooked some beans and made a bowl of mashed potatoes. I then started on my gravy with the pan drippings from frying the chicken. As I was making a roux for the gravy, I heard a car drive up and then a knock on the door. It was a long time friend of my late grandmothers named Vivian. I have known her since I was a small child. She looks just like a shorter version of the late Julia Child and talks much like her as well.

Vivian is a southern Baptist missionary for several Caribbean islands. She is 83 years old and has been a missionary for over 50 years. She spends her summers at home in Waverly and her winters working in the islands. I invited her to come on in and sit down as I was in the middle of preparing lunch. She came in and sat down at the kitchen table.

We mainly made small talk like how are you doing and what our families have been up to. I was hoping to keep the conversation away from religion and her tendency to preach but was unsuccessful.

“Jonathon, I don’t mean to be blunt but have you found Jesus?” Vivian asked.

I have never lost him was what I wanted to say but I knew that would be rude.

“Ms. Vivian, I am just not a very religious man. I tend to be agnostic.” I said very carefully.

“God has a plan for you and you need to follow it. He can work wonders in your life if you let him.” She followed.

I wanted to say that the biggest thing that has changed my life was putting down the booze but I was trying my very hardest to be nice and show her respect.

“Yes, Ms.Vivian, I know.” I said.

“I’ve got something I want to give to you.” She said.

She reached into her satchel and pulled out a palm sized version of the new testament.

“I want you to read just one chapter a day and you will soon see the Lord working miracles in your life.” She said. “This should be the only book you will ever have to read.”

I wiped the flour and grease off my hands and took the bible and placed it on the kitchen counter and said thank you.

“Why don’t me and you go to the living room and get down on our knees and pray together. We can ask our lord and savior, Jesus, to enter your heart.” Vivian said.

Okay, that drew the line. I was not about to get on the floor and pray for my salvation.

“Ms. Vivian, I appreciate you trying to help me. I will read the bible you gave me and will think about what you have said.” I said as I lied.

I hate lying but I had to be nice. She was very dear to my late grandmother and she does mean well but it is damn uncomfortable to have to sit through this. I successfully changed the subject to how it has been in the islands and she finally got up to head home. I gave her a big hug and helped her walk back to the car.

In AA they teach you to be rigorously honest about everything. I hated having to lie to her but what could I do? I couldn’t tell this 83 year old friend what I really thought. I couldn’t tell her that I thought she spent 50 years teaching hocus pocus to a people that already had an established religion and that she should respect that religion. Oh well, life is never simple and there is a fine line between being too honest and lying to protect the feelings of a friend.