Rachel, how art thou……

My phone has been ringing off the hook today. I am about ready to slam it against the wall and unplug my answering machine. I screen my calls to see who is calling. I wait for the answering machine to pick up before I answer. I got a call from my dearest ex-wife. I also got a visit.

“Jonathon, doll? You there?” Rachel asked over the speaker of the answering machine.

I stood at my entertainment center and hesitated. I hate that she still talks to me in sentimental terms. It really pisses me off in that she left me in the woods for many months. Doll? Sweetheart? Fuck me!

“Sweetheart, pick up if you are there.” She said.

I picked up the phone in a huff.

“Rach, what is it?” I said gruffly.

“You don’t have to sound so mean.” She said.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be an asshole but I am tired.” I said.

“Can me and Otis come over for abit? I need to talk to you about some things.” She said.

“We can just talk on the phone. What things do you need to talk about?” I asked.

“I talked to Phillip today and he said you are doing well. I am proud of you.” She said.

My father was right. I doing well is really pissing her off. She is wanting back in my life and homey don’t play that. I would rather sleep in my own shit than get back with her.

“I went by the drugstore today and your dad says you got the house.” She said.

“Yeah, I got it.” I said.

“Can I come by sometime and look at it?” She said.

“Rachel, what is going on? Why are you asking me such things? You left me in the fucking woods and didn’t give a shit about me when things got tough. Why are you acting like you care now?” I said.

There was a long pause. I heard her sniffling over the phone. I know I am sounding like an asshole. You just have to walk a few days in my shoes. I am also one of the world’s biggest pussies when it comes to women.

“Can I just come over? We really need to talk.” She said.

“Okay.” I said as I hung up.

I paced the floor drinking coffee as I waited for her to come over. I heard the distinctive sound of our Volkswagen beetle as it pulled up. I heard the car door open and shut. There was a knock on the door.

“Hey.” She said as I opened the door.

The smell of her as she walked by me brought back a hundred memories. Otis came rushing in and went straight for my puppy. There was much ass sniffing until they decided they were friends. Rachel ran over and picked up the puppy. Otis went absolutely spastic as she picked him up. He was jealous.

“How did you get a Boston pup? He is darling.” She said as she stood there holding the dog.

“Alaine bought her for me. I am still trying to decide on a name.” I said.

“She loves you, doesn’t she?” Rachel said.

“Yeah, I hope so. She means a lot to me.” I said.

“I never meant as much to you as she does, did I?” Rachel said.

“Rachel, don’t start, okay?” I said.

Rachel sat down in my hand me down lazy boy holding the puppy. I sat down in a chair I pulled out of the kitchen. We stared at each other a few moments. She stood up and walked over to me setting the puppy down.

“Give me a hug, okay?” She said.

I gave her a hug and those familiar smells overwhelmed me. I could smell her shampoo and perfume. I had to drag myself away. I wanted things to be like those first giddy days we met. I wanted to be on our honeymoon in Washington DC again. I knew in my heart that those days are long gone.

“Rach, what is really going on here? I don’t want any bullshit.” I said.

“I can’t live alone. I am so tired of waking up in an empty bed.” She said.

“Rachel, you will find somebody else. What will happen if I get sick again? Are you going to leave me standing out on the doorstep?” I said.

“I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Your dad says you don’t get sick on your medicine now.” She said.

I just sat there mulling over what had been said. I was trying to find a way out of this situation. I should have never answered the phone.

“Come home tonight, okay? I have to work this afternoon but I will be home around ten.” She said.

“Rachel, I think it is best that we stay separated. I need to be alone for the time being.” I said.

“I will be home waiting if you change your mind.” She said as she got up to leave.

The last thing I will do is come over. Once bitten, twice shy.