Friday, November 12, 2004

Gaining from homelessness

One of the reasons I originally took down this blog was I didn’t want to be grouped with “homeless bloggers”. I saw no real benefit for the homeless coming from some of the more popular blogs and it alarmed me. It helps the individual homeless person but not the homeless as a whole. It takes the actual person who is homeless or formerly homeless to go out and make a difference and not hope that difference will find you on the web. I fear people read these blogs for entertainment value and very few readers are actual advocates or people trying to make a difference.

I do read several homeless blogs mainly out of curiosity even though they sometimes irritate me. I have to keep in mind that blogging is a personal endeavor and the blog is an outward extension of the individual with all their faults, failings, and successes. The homeless guy, for example, is a blog written by just one guy who is homeless in Nashville. He is not representative of the homeless population in Nashville at all. He is articulate and savvy with marketing his blog. He is able to reasonably put his thoughts down for you to read. He is atypical in that he doesn’t suffer from some of the more hardcore problems that many homeless people face such as addiction, cold, hunger, and isolation. But there I am generalizing. I only know him through his writings and not the man himself. For all I know, what he writes and who he really is are vastly different animals. You really can’t experience or understand homelessness just through one man’s writings on a blog. Homelessness is multi-faceted and varies from situation to situation. My situation, Crystal’s situation, James’ situation, Morgan’s situation, and lastly Kevin’s situation are vastly different. Our experiences with homelessness were completely different other than one single factor: We didn’t have a home to call our own.

I have often thought about what bugs me so much about Kevin’s blog and others. At first, maybe I thought it was jealousy but I put that down quickly. I do not desire to be the internet spokesperson for the homeless nor do I want to gain things from you out of pity or persuasion. Gaining things: that hit a nerve with me as I wrote it. I guess what alarms me that there are millions of people stricken in poverty and who are homeless and one guy who has gained an audience is using homelessness for his own benefit and not the real benefit of others. Maybe I am particularly sensitive since I was homeless for a time as well and know what it feels like to be hungry, cold, and so lonesome that you cry around the hour and wish you were dead. I want to cry out in disgust when I see him ask for and get such things as computers, DVD’s, and other non essential things and he is still homeless. I don’t mind the guy getting things but I wish they where things that would actually help him get off the streets and not make him the avant garde equivalent of a homeless Hollywood director or artist. So many people are hurting and living without and some guy is using homelessness to gain stupid things; things that only go to make him more comfortable and do nothing to help the homeless. I want to cry out to these kind people that are giving and tell them to help all homeless people, give to a shelter, give to a food bank, give something to help all homeless people and not just one savvy, articulate guy on the web.

I have noticed that this is a touchy subject with many of you who read his blog as well. I often get lots of emails when I post about this subject. A lot of people who also have blogs (some homeless and formerly homeless) are quick to agree with me and to encourage me but never write about this in their own blogs. It as if they are afraid to tell the truth or fear the guy for some reason. Kevin thinks that it some kind of honor to be linked on his page if you are a homeless or a formerly homeless blogger. Maybe some are afraid to bring about his internet wrath.

People are quick to use the Mental Illness card on me when it regards Kevin. They tell me I should be more understanding and kind since I too suffer from mental illness. That’s just it, I do understand. I understand that I have a responsibility to myself and others regarding my mental illness. I have a responsibility to seek out help and to obtain treatment. I have a responsibility to my family and my friends to do what it takes to stay healthy. I should not use it to play on your sympathies or to gain things from you. There are millions of people who suffer in some form of mental illness or another. They want one thing: To get well and live a good life. I have a good notion that Kevin cringes when he reads anyone sticking up for him because he has a mental illness. I have seen this done often.

I hope this little essay didn’t come off as a rant. I didn’t write it with feelings of anger or resentment. My main feeling was concern; concern for all the homeless people that have no voice or who cannot write a blog and gain things such as Kevin. I feel safe in saying that the majority of homeless people could not do what he has done. I want you all to remember as Christmas approaches that there are plenty of homeless people to help and not just Kevin and his blog. People with no families and homes will go without this season and need your help for simple things. These people do not want computers or DVD’s. They want your friendship, a good meal, and warmth. They want to know someone cares enough to extend a helping hand. The money spent on one computer to the homeless guy could feed a whole shelter full of people Christmas dinner. Please think of all homeless people and not just one homeless guy who happens to be very visible on the internet. If you want to help Kevin, help him by helping local churches and the Room in the Inn program. Donate to help all the Nashville homeless. That is where you can make the most difference and you can help “the homeless guy” as well.

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