It is almost that time. This time last year I became homeless and it invades my thoughts a lot recently. That is why I have been so interested in homelessness recently. I had just got back from a vacation to London. It was a gift to my ex-wife that was coerced out of me. She actually used my future big SSDI check to finance it. She put it on our credit card with the hopes that when the check of over $5000 dollars arrived it would be paid off. Little did I know that within a week of arriving home from London I would be homeless. I would be living in a tent in the woods. My whole life would come crashing down around me.
I was very Ill at the time with my mental illness. I refused to take my medications out of the fear they were controlling my thoughts and mind. I was seeing things and getting messages from the television. I thought God was sending these divine messages with great meaning that I would soon decipher and help the world. I was very delusional.
I also began to withdraw from life and shut down. Little things grew hard for me to do such as bathe and brush my teeth. I was always a spiffy dresser and I found myself just putting on old t-shirts and old shorts. I would not get a haircut or shave. I also turned to heavy drinking to quell my illness and my despair. A found a friend in that beer can and congregated with him often. That supposed friend would turn out to be one of my biggest vices.
I will never forget that day the police came and escorted me to the curb in front of an old, dumpy convenience store. I sat out there for days crying and lost. People would drive by slowly and stare. I knew what they were thinking, “That is John Minter’s son and he is nuts and homeless. It’s sad. He comes from such a nice, prominent family.” No one stopped to help though. I finally came to the realization that I had to get off that curb and get out of sight. I had to find a safe place to regroup and collect myself. I managed to get my motorcycle and headed for the woods with all my camping gear in tow. It would turn out to be five long months.
I will never forget those long, cold, lonely nights tucked in my sleeping bag trying to stay warm and that spooky, still quietness that fills the forest on a very cold, sub freezing night. That far off lonesome cry of a coyote as you lay there with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company. I will also never take the convenience of a stove or refrigerator for granted again. Cooking and trying to get up meals on a campfire is not fun to do all the time. The smell of a campfire still brings back a thousand memories. I spent many hours trying to gather the wood to keep myself warm.
My one safe haven was my grandmother’s old home where I currently reside. At the time no one lived here and it was used for storage. I had an old key and luckily it still worked. My apartment was filled to the brim with old antiques and boxes of old memories and books. I barely had a place to sit. I managed to get my computer from my ex-wife and set it up down here. I also managed to coerce her into keeping the internet bill in her name and that I would pay her monthly. She was always very lazy about taking care of things and I knew she would not likely go to the trouble to call and cancel the internet bill as long as she got the money from me. I moved over the cable modem and it worked despite being across town and in a different house. I was back online. About that time I discovered blogs and started one of my own.
I remember sitting here in front of the computer. The temperature would hover around fifty degrees inside but there was no wind like outside and I could stay reasonably warm. I learned to heavily layer my clothes and to wear thermal underwear. Coming over here during the day let me escape from the harsh reality that had become my life. I could get online to read and pass the time. I learned how to write about my experiences and to read others as well. The internet was one of my only pleasures and it made a big difference during that time.
I also remember the constant fear of getting caught over here. I took great pains to never move anything around or change things. Everything was left looking as it did before I arrived. Nothing was kept out of place down to the smallest details. I was on constant lookout for someone driving up and would run hide in the shower or the walk in closet. I had a few close calls and I will never forget that cold, rainy, blustery night that I gave in and decided to forego my tent and sleeping bag and sleep in the closet on some quilts. I needed some comfort so badly. My heart froze as I heard my father open the door and step in. I heard his footsteps outside the closet within feet of my head. I just knew I had been discovered and was going to jail for trespassing. My family feared me and didn’t trust me.
I learned a lot from those experiences and my life has changed much in a year. Yes, some good things came out of being homeless. The changes would take another post just to list but here are some important things. I no longer take things for granted and relish the little things in my life that went over looked before. I cherish and actively work on my relationships with my family. I care about them and support them and they do the same for me. I understand the value and importance of money and manage it wisely. I have a burning desire to go out and help others in need. For the first time in my life I have a calling and real goals. I could go on and on about how much I have changed but just let you read these few I have listed.
I have much more to work on and still have many faults and failings. There will be times you will read and wonder if I am getting off course but I hope this does not happen often. Please remember that I am only human and am fallible. I hope to share with you readers many more successes and accomplished goals ahead. The next year shines bright ahead and I am excited. There is so much I want to do and change and to grow on. I hope in the months ahead you will be reading about a burgeoning social worker and his desire to make a difference in the world. Thanks as always for reading and the kind support you have shown me. If there is anything I can do in return then just ask.
Sincerely,
Andrew
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