Back in the Saddle

I just haven’t felt like writing the last few days and what I have written, I have been very displeased with and didn’t publish. I guess I am just going through a phase with this blog, but will try to get back in the saddle so to speak.

Much has gone on the past few days and I actually have a lot to write about despite my apparent loss of words. Sometimes, I just don’t want to share everything that happens with the world. Some things are better kept to my self. I sometimes find it hard to know what to share and what writings cross that line of not being publishable. In these times, I take a break and focus on other things and fall silent.

Most nights these days, I sleep out in my tent in the backyard. I am experiencing this period where I feel intensely claustrophobic at night in my home as if the walls are closing in around me. I am actually able to sleep better outside wrapped up in my sleeping bag in the great outdoors. I know my neighbors must think I am crazy and I am. That, I will freely admit.

We have had some beautiful warm days lately, but very cold nights. This morning I woke up at my usual five am and turned on my flashlight to read the time on my watch. I could see my breath it was so cold. I unzipped the door of my tent and poked my head out. I was greeted by a beautiful full moon on the western horizon that was casting looming shadows and its pale white light upon everything. It was a beautiful sight and evoked thoughts of the many cold and brilliantly clear winter nights I witnessed during my nomadic homeless days.

The cold spurred me to dress myself and come inside to get my morning coffee going. I then walked outside to smoke a cigarette and to check on Lucky, Charlie’s dog. Charlie had brought him the night before as the workers had finally finished the chain link fence in my back yard. Lucky was laying almost lifeless in the grass. He was ice-cold to the touch and was barely breathing. The shock of having to move to a new home had been too great for this frail fifteen year old dog. He whimpered softly as I tried to stir him.

I rushed inside and got an extension cord and a heating pad. I placed the pad on Lucky hoping it would warm him up. When dawn finally arrived and I was sure Charlie had awakened, I called him and told him that Lucky was near death and needed to be put to sleep. Charlie come over within minutes and carried Lucky to the Veterinarian to have him put down. There was nothing the Vet could do for Lucky and the dog could no longer even walk. It was truly sad and brought a few tears to my eyes as I watched Charlie carry his listless body to the car; knowing that would be Lucky’s final ride in this life. Damn that Uncle Bob and his damnable goats that caused this!