You say you have social phobias and social anxiety, and yet your life is filled with people and interactions. Please help me understand, a person wrote today. You have a vibrant social life.
Have you ever noticed who I hang out with? All people with little social standing outside our own little clique. I am not very far up the social totem pole.
A person had written me an email not too long ago saying they know how I feel. They felt more comfortable hanging out with social misfits, street people, homeless people, and drunkards. I feel the same despite coming from a locally socially prestigious family. I feel like a duck out of water when I am thrown within the social confines of my father’s friends.
With George, Big S, Rosa, and the gang, I feel comfortable. They accept me for who I am limitations and all. I could be the biggest fall down drunk and George would still be my friend and be a part of my life. I could talk to myself constantly crazy while un-medicated and Rosa would still want to sleep with me and have something to do with me. I could be homeless and Dumpster Diving Dan would embrace me, faults and all, and teach me the tricks of the trade of surviving off the trash of the rest of society.
That’s why I feel so comfortable and at ease around such people. The gang is a very unassuming bunch. Throw me into a mix of my father’s friends and I am an awkward, bumbling, social idiot that stammers upon his words and who would rather be in hell than such a situation. I guess it can be hard to understand and even harder to explain.
9 comments:
And yet, I consider myself fairly normal and I accept you as my friend with no strings attached. But then again, I guess I'm a social misfit too... I hardly have any friends in real life.
I too socialise with misfits Andrew. I can't stand anyone else, or having to try and fit in.
It isn't, and will never, be me.
Why I like living in London at times. It can be very accepting.
I know a bit how you feel. I would be so unsure of myself with trying to make small-talk with strangers that I would freeze up, not be able to complete sentences, and would blush at every perceived goof (which were mostly in my head.)
Age has slowly softened these social fears, but it was not age alone. It was putting myself in situations where I had to make the small talk (or 'big talk' as in speaking before a governmental body ...knees shaking ... to protest a planned action) that did it.
Slowly, with time, I have become more comfortable, and actually, last week, had someone call me a "social butterfly". That really urprised me, knowing how I used to feel.
If you want to change, you can, one small step at a time. The AA meetings would be a good place to start, as there are all kinds of people there, and they are there to be supportive.
HI Andrew,
I think what draws you to your friends is how unassuming and real they are, not that they're social misfits. I know it's what draws me to you.
I see you've fancied up your blog again. I like it.
I have been reading this blog for about ten months now. I have read all of the archives I could get my hands on. Remember that? I read every single one of them. I remember commenting on how much people gravitate toward you. People love you. They love reading about your real life and any trials or tribulations you go through. I believe that people who read this blog see themselves in your life as your friend. I know I do. I am so glad I found you back in June of 2006. You have helped me become a better person.
I don't see your photo page on your redesigned blog.
I hope you put your photos back up. I like your compositions.
I think you explained it beautifully and I understand completely. :) One persons definition of "a vibrant social life" is not necessarily anothers. It's all about comfort, Andrew. Simplicity and comfort are good things.
Hope you had a peaceful Sunday.
Cindi Ann
Vedy interesting....
:)
Huggs n snuggs
-Lo
nice post Andrew.
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