My Father Could Befriend a Fence Post...

A student from Point University based downtown broke down in front of mom and dad's house tonight. He blew out two tires at once on his truck making me suspect he hit the high curb right in front of my parent's abode. My mother has had a few run-ins with that curb herself over the years. Many tires have died a sudden death due to my mother's indirection and lack of positional awareness.

My father took the student, a young fellow, under his wing until the student's father arrived from Macon, Georgia to help fix the tires. Dad even drove him to see the river house and then they went and got a hamburger plate at Roger's barbecue.

"Dad could befriend a fence post," I told my mother over the phone as I grinned to myself. "That is  just not something I got from my father genetically."

Mom was agitated as it got all our routines out of kilter. She said she already had her pajamas on when the young man knocked on the door.

"Your daddy has still got to do our grocery shopping as well tonight," she complained with a huff.

All of this didn't paint my mother in a pleasant light. Oh well, fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly.

It's Time to Get Mobile Again...

You don't know how much you rely on your car until the one you own no longer works. I usually fix these kinds of things myself, but I am shamefully being lazy and also being kind of perplexed about this whole dilemma -- my mind a mish mash of directions of where to go. Call me indecision.

Bob from West Point Tire and Auto got busy yesterday at his garage and never couldn't make it out to my house which left me without a car for one more day.

The last time I took my car to Bob he mentioned to my mother how dusty my engine was. It really got to me and embarrassed me. He will be surprised when he opens my hood today. You can eat off my engine.

My father wants me to call him when I get up and going.  We are going to jump my car off and drive it to the shop which is just a few miles away across the river into West Point.

"Now, take a shower and put on some nice clothes," my father told me over the phone.

"We are just going to drop my car off at the mechanics," I replied to my father flabbergasted.

It shouldn't be expensive, but those are often my famous last words.

EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! Canine On the Loose!

 

Moments after writing the above post, I was sitting at this computer and I looked out into the front yard as I heard a commotion and Maggie's bark. The meter reader (I assume) left both gates open this morning and Maggie was sitting in my front yard without a care in the world just a couple hundred yards from super busy Gilmer Avenue -- the busiest road in the neighborhood. I couldn't get her back into the fence for nothing -- not even for one of her favorite treats. She would bark at me and run like this was all some kind of crazy game.

"Dad? Are you dressed? Get yourself over here pronto. Maggie is out of her fence," I exclaimed over the phone.

She minds my father much better than she does me. I am only Zeta dog and my father is Theta dog.

"Let me get dressed and I am on my way," my father urgently replied.

It took three of us to get Maggie back in the fence. Myself, my father, and my next door neighbor.

"I don't know what I would do without my babies," my good neighbor to the right of my house told me and my father about her two dogs.

Once we got Maggie back in the fence, my father and I took this opportunity to get my car fixed. It was a simple fix and only took the mechanic 5 minutes. He said he a had a Honda come in every other week or so with the same problem..

And the Tropics Ignite...

http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/

It has been a lot of years since I've seen the tropics and the Gulf of Mexico so filled to the brim with various tropical storm systems. It seems to have exploded overnight in intensity. There is even a very potent Hurricane headed for the big island of Hawaii. It's not very often that will happen. It is classic looking hurricane in every sense of the word.

My father arrived from work a moment ago for the medication ritual. He was loosening his necktie as he walked across my front yard holding my medications in his other hand. He wanted me to quickly tune my television to The Weather Channel. We gazed for awhile until we had to tear ourselves away from the television and complete Maggie's food and water ritual. She was hungry and getting pretty persistently insistent for a moment there.

"Maybe we will get some good rain out of all of these tropical systems," my father told me enthusiastically as he gave the Magster the attention she so craves. "We're parched in central Alabama."

"You picked an opportune time to go to Florida last week," I replied to Johnny Otis. "You almost got caught in a mess."

We Have a Winner On Our Hands...

Most Excellent...

I just ate a Grissom's pimento cheese sandwich for an early lunch and it tasted as good as homemade pimento cheese. We have a winner on our hands! What a pleasant surprise. It was so delicious. I bet it will be even more delicious toasted on my little grill with white sandwich bread or rye bread.

I am itching to find out what it cost which I can't remember and will ask my father to see the receipt sometime today. I wouldn't be surprised if it cost $5 or more dollars per container. It was stickily an impulse buy.

She's Getting Old, But She's Been a Good Ole Gal...

Have you ever heard of such a thing? I couldn't figure out why my battery in my car kept going dead yesterday. I drove down to AutoZone and had them test my alternator and they said it was working fine. Dusk fell, darkness encroached, and I found out why. My rear brake lights are stuck to on and will not go out even if I've turned the car off. I am keeping an eye and ear out for Bob at West Point Tire and Auto to come and look at it this afternoon and possibly tow it to his garage. I think it is the switch on the brake pedal that triggers my brake lights. Right now, I have the fuse for my brake lights pulled out so it will not drain my battery once again.

True To My Word...

I pretty much stuck to the game plan I had talked about in my earlier grocery musing blog post. I did spend $78 dollars, though. Dad was just glad I was finished eating all that milk and cereal during my week. They were traded in for frozen meals.

It is going to be a sandwich themed week. I even bought some liver cheese tonight which many people find disgusting, but I find it delicious.

I also ran the gamut on the sliced cheeses I bought. When I finish writing this, I am going to fix me a shaved deli turkey and smoked provolone sandwich -- hot and grilled right off my George Foreman grill. I want the cheese nice and gooey to tickle my taste buds. I've got the sandwiches if you will bring the potato chips. Maybe even some sour cream and onion dip? I will love you forever and ever, Amen.

RC Cola (Royal Crown Cola) is a Southern thing and was on-sale for $.99 for a 2 liter bottle and I grabbed four of the bottles of soda and put them in my grocery cart.

Surprisingly, my biggest expense was a large roll of summer sausage and several different cracker brands to accompany it with.

My big impulse buy this week was a medium sized container of Mrs. Grissom's select pimento cheese spread. It is a gamble and we will find out how it tastes tomorrow when I fix a sandwich for lunch.

http://www.mrsgrissoms.com/Recipes/

Should We Put Tony the Tiger Out to the Pasture?

Grocery Day Thoughts...

https://www.soap.com

Yes, I think I am finally tired of milk and cereal after months of those two being a mainstay in my diet. My father says I am lucky to not be 30 pounds overweight by now and I have gained a bit of weight in my midsection. Dad calls it my "dunlop". I have quickly tired of bananas as well. I can't think of anything to take its place, though.

I think I may try some of those new Stouffer's frozen meals that are designed as Marie Calender's main competition. I saw some commercials on television last night and they look promising and delicious. I want easy to cook and cleanup with little trash. I will pay a little more for a high quality and more nutritious meal which means I am staying away from Banquette brand meals.

Sandwiches will also be a focus in this weeks shopping. I shall get lots of cold cuts, fancy Cobblestone Mill bread, and assorted sliced cheeses. I've to put my George Foreman grill into action this week. It is lingering unused in the top shelf of my kitchen cabinets.

Another thing I added to my very short grocery list is two large bottles of V-8 juice and Louisiana style hot sauce. We can make some nonalcoholic Bloody Marys.

The Information We Glean...

Our Sunday night fried chicken adventures went without a hitch. My father didn't have enough time in the day to convey all of his Florida trip to me. He was talking a mile a minute. I felt a little overwhelmed when they first arrived being the hermit that I am. Things went very quickly from zero to sixty.

Charlie was furiously and fastidiously sweeping my hardwood floors last night after my father and he arrived.

Charlie was also talking last night about his tour of duty in the Air Force when he was much younger. He was stationed in Thailand for the duration of his service.

"I couldn't eat all that strange and weird food," Charlie told  me. "I lived on bananas for the duration of my service. I about starved to death."

It is hard to believe Charlie was ever in the armed services -- especially him taking orders from someone else.

"I needed the G.I. Bill to go to and pay for college," Charlie told me.

Charlie cleaned in 15 minutes what would have taken me an hour. He mainly got up all of Maggie's shed hair in each corner of my rooms. "Super dust bunnies," as Charlie called them.

The Scouts are Out and About...

I just heard from a very credible source (Martha) that Johnny Otis and the Charles Meister have left my father's house to go get our Sunday night suppers! :-) I am getting my usual Kentucky Fried Chicken 3pc. meal, original, with 2 sides of potato wedges. "The usual," as I said to my father as if he were a bartender.

Making Connections...

I just had a long amicable conversation with my father as Charlie drove through the Valley. He was really glad to be home and can't wait to hear about some of my mother's antics while he was gone. . Time really does heal old wounds with regards to my father and I, but we can still have a few assholish maneuvers and moods from time to time. I really missed the old codger while he was gone. I do love the old man and he will always be my father. He was overjoyed at hearing my voice on the other end. I often have to evoke my Auschwitz Mantra when talking about the fellow.

Katy Perry - "Not Like the Movies" - Official Lyric Video

Waiting On Sunrise...

https://www.diapers.com

My body decided to wake up at a very dark 6am this morning. My eyes felt like they were burning from lack of sleep. I also woke up to this extreme feeling of vertigo in my pitch black bedroom. I fumbled around and finally found my bedside lamp and turned it on without knocking it off my bedside table.

Maggie actually woke me first by howling/baying in her sleep which is a haunting and wanton sound like those of mourning doves.

I am hoping I will get sleepy again after eating a modest breakfast. So far, we are munching on some unfrosted strawberry Pop-Tarts and drinking a big icy cold glass of milk. The cold milk is like heaven on earth quenching my thirst. Lately, Charlie's been showing up about 10am with our McDonald's biscuits so I hope I am not ruining my appetite.

The grand Poo-Bah is back in town (Papa). I haven't had a chance to see him yet, though. Even after a week long soiree in Florida on the beach, last night he had to go to a class reunion -- the class of 1964. I kept hoping he would stop by on his way home.

My idea of a vacation is some quiet time spent on my idle pursuits like farting around with my computers and completing some of my model railroading projects. Not a drive to Florida to spend a week socializing and then coming home to a fancy frou frou class reunion. I felt exhausted just hearing my mother talk about it last night on the phone. She couldn't have done it either. Each to his own I guess.

Speaking of my mother, she is just reeling from having her Xanax dosage halved.

"What if my panic attacks start up again?" was what she asked me on the phone.

There were a lot of things I could have done wrong this past week that I handled the right way like an adult. I hope my father recognizes this and I get some acknowledgment or maybe even some praise. It never hurts to give an "attaboy" to those that you love.

Well, sunlight is now on the horizon, so lets me get a shower, get dressed, and start my day.

Coveting Thy Cokes...

https://imeanseriously.wordpress.com

"Sorry I am in such of a rude hurry," Charlie said almost dropping my medications in the process. That would have been a disaster. "I am going to have to come someday to just visit and see you and Maggie for a change."

My father always says Charlie gets flustered and snatchy on occasions such as this. He never fails to always get too much on his plate.

"He has a biting tongue when he gets like that," my father will also tell me. "Tread around him carefully and don't take anything personally."

My father knows how sensitive I can be to such emotional and social encounters.

"Horsefly is in the car ready to go see a movie in Auburn. The one he wants to see starts at 5pm," Charlie further told me. "We also have to eat our nightly chicken strips dinner from the KFC across the road from the shopping mall."

The Present Has Just Become the Past...

Charlie had his hands full of wonderful surprises for me this afternoon as he walked across my lawn. I wish my father would be so altruistic.

"I got you an extra large Coke with no ice and a double quarter pounder with cheese and fries," Charlie told me. "Here is a cold diet Coke to take your medications with."

Charlie about dropped the diet Coke as well -- almost juggling it to keep it from hitting the floor.

I was extremely glad to get that ex-large Coke. You see? I have six Cokes waiting for me at my parent's house, but I have been procrastinating something terrible all day and have been drinking ice water. It will only take me 10 minutes to get them,, but my brain has decided that trip would take too many minutes and too much exertion.

Family Ties that Bind Us Together...

It Really is Better the Next Day...

I know its a just a cliche, but do any of you like cold pizza from the previous day's meal? I just had two slices of Johnny's pepperoni and Italian sausage pizza for breakfast this morning and it was heavenly.

The Calvary Arrives...

I had never been so glad to see my sister yesterday. Momma can be a handful and that is on a good day. A good analogy is that mom is like a little toddler many days. We've come full circle. You have to watch her or she will take a fall or something crazy might happen. My sister is so calm, collected, and kind -- patient to the nth degree.

Hopefully, mom will stay quiet today until my father returns later tonight. Dad just called and said he passed the Florida/Alabama state line. That means he will be home in about four hours. He was anxious to hear what has transpired this week from my perspective. Oh, did I have some tales to tell!

Fate? Give Me a Break...

http://www.awdwiki.com/en/honda/

I changed my transmission fluid and my transmission's filter a few months back. My car's transmission started slipping out of gear yesterday afternoon. This bodes ominous to say the least. Maybe this is all a fluke and things will be fine when I take my car for a drive today to get my sodas. I always was an optimist and hopefully I will stay that way.

Cha-Cha-Cha-Charlie!

We're doing the upbeat and happy Charlie inspired tango tonight, We've also just had another successful rendition of the medication ritual -- down ye olde gullet it went with special attention paid to thwart any dropped pills. Charlie and I dropped a 1mg Klonopin last night and we never did find it. Maggie has fresh food and water as well which she promptly inhaled. Maggie was starving it seems.

Charlie has duly left the premises. Now, we are going to hunker down in our computer room, play some pleasant tunes, and have some well deserved computer time.

On the Edge of Reason...

"You should have one more night of me and then your father will take back over on Sunday," a very serious sounding Charlie told me.

Charlie was not in a joking mood tonight and was strictly business. Charlie must've been tired as he never stops and sometimes it can tell on him like tonight.

"Tomorrow, for your medications, do you want me to bring them before I take Horsefly to the movies or after?"

I told Charlie that before would be nice and that I would appreciate it very much.

"Horsefly is going to see Hell or High Water," Charlie told me.

"It's getting great reviews," I bantered back. "I have always liked Jeff Bridges as an actor."

Climbing that Stairway to Heaven...

http://www.atlantadiners.net/

My good deed for the day is done. I am happy to be safely home with my friend and comrade, the Magster. I was experiencing some very acute anxiety about getting this all accomplished. Mom's new diagnosis is degenerative disc disease. She has to go to physical rehabilitation and I am going to be her chauffeur for twice a week.

I just thankfully handed over the baton to my esteemed sister. She is taking my mother to the hair salon to get her hair fixed. We just all went and got pizza and pasta at Johnny's New York Style Pizza in downtown West Point. It was my mother's request. It was very delicious -- some of the best pizza I have ever eaten. I am unsure if my mother still wants to go eat Chinese tonight. If she wants to go then I will gladly take her. I could handle a big steaming platter of General Tso's chicken and fried rice. Don't forget the egg-roll and the spicy mustard!

The Ball is in the Court of Life...

Which way will you roll? Mom and I arrived at Dr. Bacshi's office bright and early this morning and I was ready for a long wait. The parking lot and lobby was just full of patients waiting to be seen.

"You wait here in the car," I told my mother.

"What are you doing?" mom asked perplexed.

"I am going inside to get you a wheel chair," I replied.

My mother thought that was a brilliant idea.

During all of this, my mother, the secretary, was also fretting over Maggie's heart worm and flea medications. I told her I would take care of that this afternoon and I did.

"I am thirsty," My mother then said as I pulled out of the parking lot of her chiropractor which had been her next appointment on the agenda.. "Do you want to go get a drink somewhere?"

We headed to Circle K to get some drinks. Mom insisted on paying and it was $1.51 with tax. You just can't beat Circle K's drinks deal.

The Countdown to DOOM!

In a few minutes, I have to pick up my mother under their portico at 10:10am and carry her to the doctor. Her appointment is at 10:30am. Doctor Bacshi is a popular doctor and there will be a long wait time. I have a full day planned for me. This evening, my mother wants to go eat at the local Chinese restaurant. I just hope I can keep it together mentally enough to get all this done. My biggest fear is sitting in a crowded lobby and having an anxiety attack.

I Knew This Guy Named Jack Once....

https://www.broadsheet.com

"Have you ever eaten at Jack's?" Charlie asked me this evening driving home from work. "I am pulling into their parking lot right now and will get you a combo meal. They also have the best fries of all the fast food places in my humble opinion."

I told Charlie that I haven't had a Jack's burger in years.

Charlie being at Jack's must surely mean he is in Lafayette, Alabama, the county seat, and on his Journey home. He will be back in the Chattahoochee Valley in about a half hour.

Eating this so soon towards bed will probably mean a bad case of heartburn come midnight, but I am throwing caution to the wind.

I Should Have Been An Entomologist...

http://songsofinsects.com/cicadas/periodical-cicada

The late evening or dusk cicadas are calling outside my window. It is such a mournful and sad sound like it's their swansong which is about right as they mate then die. What duration brood is this? I've heard many species cicadas calling all day -- getting very loud at certain intervals. The cacophony is unmistakable. Many cicadas stay dormant for 17 years before they emerge to mate and start the cycle all over again. Soon, the dusk cicadas will give way to the katydids at dark fall.

http://www.organicgardeninfo.com/

Good Morning Sunshine!

https://www.pastemagazine.com

Charlie just called to make sure I was up and going.

"Good morning sunshine!" he said loudly over the phone with a jovial air to his voice.

"Johnny Otis would be proud of me. I've already had my shower and clean clothes are on," I told him proud of my very responsible self. "I am dying for a slice of lemon meringue pie right now."

Charlie reminded me that we are eating breakfast at McDonald's after the procedure. I had almost forgotten.

I actually set my alarm clock last night. I awoke at seven to Maggie snuggled up against me in this chilly back room of my house. 75° degrees certainly seemed chilly to me.

"I'll meet you at Kamath Medical at nine," Charlie replied and we got off the phone.

I am very nervous and agitated this morning for some reason. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it's my blood levels of Risperdal being so low or maybe it's because I've had so much to do lately and am weary of it all. I have to live a quiet life to do well these days. It's time to retire to my hermitage for a few weeks and recharge my batteries.

Part 2 -- Onward Ho to McDonald's...

http://www.nbcnews.com/

"That didn't take long at all," Charlie told me surprised as I walked back outside of Kamath Medical. "Let's go get something to eat. I'm hungry!"

"The nurses really take good care of me here," I replied to Charlie before heading to my car.

First, we stopped at my father's former pharmacy which was just up the road and I got two 20oz cokes to put in the fridge when I got home. They were to be savored later -- most likely during my before bed computer time. Yes, they will be amply enjoyed.

"Will you ladies just put this on my father's account or my account?" I asked Lydia who was manning the front counter of the pharmacy.

She smiled warmly and said she would take care of it.

I followed Charlie to the hallowed halls of McDonald's. I got two egg McMuffins and a hashbrown. Charlie got two sausage biscuits and seemed quite pleased of himself. Charlie then had an hour drive to work in Dadeville. I will see him again tonight for the medication ritual.

Darkness Falls and We Anxiously Wait For the One Who Brings Light...

https://play.wimpmusic.com

Charlie thankfully came pulling up in front of my house at 10pm tonight. I thought he would never, ever arrive and was quite exhausted by the constant vigil and wait.

"Yee Haw!" I exclaimed in exuberance as Maggie let loose a flurry of barking and exuberance herself. Maggie and I both hurried to the front door for the grand welcoming of Beta dog. Yes, you can remind me that I am Zeta dog.

I was ready to take my crazy meds and to hit the hay as the old saying goes. I could barely keep my eyes open, but Charlie's visit gave me sort of a second wind. I am very obviously writing a blog post and listening to Supreme Beings of Leisure and it is going on half past ten.

"I am calling you at eight tomorrow morning and your ass better be up for your injection," Charlie said with a smug laugh. "Then you and I are going to eat breakfast at McDonald's."

"Ah, the great bastion of nutrition, sodium, and low caloric counts," I said facetiously. "I've got first dibs on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit!"

Heading for the Great Falls...

Charlie called me at 3pm which struck me as very odd.

"What's wrong?" I instinctively asked upon answering the phone and hearing Charlie's voice.

It sounded like he was in a call center somewhere with much raucous din in the background. It was amazing that Charlie got me to the phone at all. I had just plugged it back in its socket after a long nap with Ms. Magster.

"Your mother had a pretty nasty fall last night and lay on the floor until morning," Charlie told me. "She had an x-ray, but nothing was broken, She seems better this afternoon and should be okay."

Charlie wanted me to go sit with my mother this afternoon for which I obliged. I was the last person on this earth to be told what was going on which kind of miffed me.

Charlie's wife, Janice, took her home from the hospital.  I immediately got in the car and headed for my parent's house. Mom appeared perfectly fine and was quite chatty. Mom was worried mainly that we may not get to eat at the Zen House Chinese restaurant tomorrow evening.

"Do you want me to stay overnight at your house?" I asked my mother.

She said she was fine and tired of all this much-ado-about-nothing.

"Doctor Bacshi halved the dosage of Xanax I take everyday," my mother then lamented to me. "What will I do if I have a panic attack?"

I stayed quiet after that and didn't open that can of worms. I walked down to the basement to get mom's walker and asked her to please use it.

Keeping Up Appearances...

https://www.justwatch.com

I love that British situation comedy Keeping Up Appearances on Georgia Public Television.  It comes on every Saturday night here.

The Bucket Lady!!!  It's Bouquet!

I've about seen them all over the years, though. Dad says I am the son, Sheridan, and that mom is Hyacinth, the mother, if you are familiar with the show.

"What does Sheridan want now?" my father will ask jokingly when I call and mom answers the phone telling me hello excitedly.

Mom will balk when he says it. I have to agree that it is pretty funny, though. Mostly, I call to see how they are doing, though. I rarely need anything other than fishing for any leftovers dad cooked for supper and that usually makes him feel good.

"How much money does he need this time?" dad will then ask snickering.

Mom has been shopping this morning as part of the operation "eradicating the homeless look in Andrew" today as my father calls it. She brought me fresh and crisp white t-shirts, underwear, and socks. We nave to keep up appearances around here as well.

"Wash them first before you wear them," she told me. "They will be nice and soft."

The Injection of a Lifetime...

http://risperdallitigation.com/

I just have gotten off the phone with Charlie. He was on his way to work in Dadeville.

"Help me remember that your Risperdal injection is Thursday," Charlie told me. "I will get you and the injection there and then head to work."

It has been kind of a complicated week for me, you know? I want some peace and quiet to return.

Damn straight! She's Got Her Thinking Cap On!

http://socialsavvymom.com/wendys

"Will you take me to Wendy's to get a large frosty?" my mother asked me over the phone last hour. "I feel stir crazy and I want a cold ice-cream treat to eat."

It certainly is a hot enough day for a little bit of ice-cream I noted to myself. My wireless weather station was reading 93° degrees and that was in the shade on the side porch.

"Thank you for having your head on straight," I told my mother with the utmost of sincerity and praise. "Usually, you would just go and get it yourself. You were going to get a DUI today."

"I haven't had that much to take today!" mom protested cluelessly and then guardedly laughed.

Mom was waiting under the portico when I picked her up. I drove us to Wendy's in the Valley. Mom and I both got singles with cheese and large frosties. The burgers were kind of salty, but the ice-cream was sublime.

Social Phobias Strike Again!

George's ex-wife was just at George's house getting his mail. It was the closest to finding out how he has been doing for weeks.  I just couldn't get up the courage to go and ask her how he is. Confronting the unknown scares me more than anything.

When Joyce lived next door, she would find any way come hell or high water to get a message to me on how she was going. Often, she was on the mental ward at West Georgia Medical Center.

Let's Go All the Way...

My father says I am an all or nothing fellow. He's pretty much right in that assessment and my long time friend Pipe Tobacco who has has read me the longest will probably agree. I will do things all the way or do nothing of the sorts.

I went to sleep around 11pm last night in the front bed in the computer room. Maggie and I both about can't fit on that small bed together. Like magic, I drifted off and didn't wake up until noon the next day. Maggie and I were doing some serious sleeping. I don't think the Magster moved all night as well.

There Be Icebergs Out There...

Mom just called and sounded drunk as a cooter on top of other complications I have today.

"Did you try to call me?" she asked.

"No I didn't and don't try to go anywhere without calling me first," I told the sinking Titanic. "I will take you wherever you need to go."

She called me right back and told me she was bringing me a Mexican meal tonight. I took the opportunity to tell her I was driving over to get my sodas for the day. She left my parent's back door open.

"Please, call me before you go," I told her standing in the den. "I don't want you getting a DUI or hurting others!"

A Pleasant Night of Shopping...

http://m.longhornsteakhouse.com/

Charlies's introduction tonight was a whirlwind of activity. We took my medications and then hurried the process of Maggie's ritual.

"I'll meet you at Kroger," I told Charlie minding the fact that he had worked all day.

There are now hunger inducing burger patties frying on the stove. The smell is intoxicating for Andrew and Maggie alike. Cooking 101: I always shape the beef patties concave on both sides so they don't bulge up in the center while cooking.

Maggie is very in-tune to this interesting process and the wonderful smells emanating from the kitchen. She is also staying underfoot which is a dangerous place to be for pups and cooks. Before we know it, there will be sore paws and hurt feelings if the parties involved aren't careful.

A jovial Charlie was in a grand mood tonight. They broke the mold after making that one-of-a-kind and special man.

"I am going to help you shop and we're getting you a lot of food for your money," Charlie told me adamantly.

And the bandstand cheers again!

I debited a little over $107 dollars out of my disability account tonight -- enough to give my father a coronary.

I also very thankfully managed to get my Edwards lemon meringue pie. It will thaw overnight after being frozen and I will have a grand sized slice for breakfast and the rest will go in the fridge.

Flotsam and Jetsam...

I am sitting here in the dark in a metaphorical sense of the word. I never know what is going on until the last moment before the "game". Charlie could arrive in 15 minutes or it could be 9:30pm tonight. I am hoping the phone will ring in the next 15 minutes or so.

I've changed my grocery game plan and decided I want to fry some steak fries and hamburgers when I get home from shopping tonight. The biggest bottle of A1 steak sauce is $5.99 which I love. I hope I can justify the cost, but shopping is easy when Charlie goes with me and A1 goes great with chicken as well.

"Here, get some of this!" Charlie will say and put it in my shopping cart.

And the bandstand cheers!

Charlie is an active participant in my shopping juxtaposed to my father who usually reads magazines and waits for me to say I am ready to checkout.

I am also craving one of those Edwards lemon meringue pies. The last two trips to Kroger and they were out. Our Kroger is always out of something you need. It never fails. They better not be out of my creme filled doughnuts tonight or we are going to get out our pitchforks and start a bonfire in the parking lot.

The Focus is Narrow, But the Path is Wide...

http://www.keyword-suggestions.com/

Charlie shampooed my hair last night. The shampoo smelled wonderfully of strawberries, and then he dried it with my hair dryer. This is all ado about my father's homelessness in Andrew eradication plan.

Charlie also washed my "Air Jordan" tennis shoes in the washer and they look bright and white now. We put them on the porch to dry in the sun this afternoon.

We then laid out some fresh clothes out on the spare bed for me to wear while shopping tonight. I will look halfway presentable by then -- less homeless would be what my father would say.

Mom bought me a new cordless razor because my old one's blades were getting dull and it was pinching my skin.

I don't mean to deteriorate overtime time like I do and this flies against anything socially phobic. A socially anxious person would want to blend it as much as possible -- never draw attention to yourself.

Back On the Right Track...

http://www.projectcasting.com/

I slept from 10pm last night until 9am this morning. What a nice feeling! Let's hope this is the new normal for me. I always feel tired when I stay up all night and sleep all day. I just have to let my mentally addled body cycle as it will do at times. If I had to work, then I could never play these games with my sleeping schedules. I think Maggie feels better as well, but she is known to sleep all day for several days at a time.

A Grocery Store Visit Beckons...

Yes, it is yet one more Monday. I want a frequent flyer discount from Kroger. Charlie always adds his senior citizen discount when we are tallying up the cost of my groceries.

"Are you going to get groceries tonight?" Charlie just asked me on his way to work in Dadeville.

I told him an exuberant yes.

"I plan on it, Charlie!" I then replied enthusiastically.

"I will meet you at Kroger at 9pm sharp," he told me. "If I am not there yet, then go ahead and get started."

"It won't take 20 minutes," I reassuringly told Charlie before we got off the phone.

I am already scheming on things to buy. I could live on sweet things if they had enough nutritional value that is. I hope Kroger is not sold out of the doughnuts I love so much. Many bananas will be procured as well.

Just In Time...

http://www.123rf.com/

I've just had a new crew of rats that moved in this week. It might all be in my mind, but I swore I saw a rat run down the hall the other day. I called the pest control people and a technician was just knocking on my door. Man, that is what I call service.

"Be sure to put it where Maggie, my dog, can't get to it," I told the technician.

"Just be sure you keep your basement door shut and locked," he rather brusquely replied to me.

They Live Such Wholesome Lives...

http://www.wjer.com/

My sister once remarked how wholesome Charlie's and his wife's' lives are. She was pretty spot on in that assessment. Dad likes to tell that story from time to time. Growing up for me was pretty helter skelter. I can't escape without remembering Ingrid Michelson singing about yellow school buses brimming with hate.

Charlie called and asked me if I would go on Sunday rounds tonight and help him get all our food and drinks. We also had to take care of taking my medications and to feed and water the Magster.

"What does your mother want?" Charlie asked.

"She told me earlier that she wanted the number 2 combo meal from Wendy's." I replied back.

"Janice is sending you some of her chili she made yesterday," Charlie told me.

That sounded so delicious as Charlie's wife is an extraordinary and exemplary cook.

Earlier, I lay down on my fresh laundered covers to read a book I have been working on finishing. Maggie came running into the bedroom and jumped on the bed. Maggie thought is was nap time and soon she was fast asleep. I smiled and turned the page.

And Let There Not Be Natural Gas...

http://thriftyjinxy.com/

Charlie's big secret yesterday was two king sized Snickers peanut butter candy bars. I love it when Charlie surprises me like that. They're my favorite candy bar by far. My old beau was the regular king sized Snickers. I have moved on to more sophisticated tastes.

Charlie was also in a chattering and chatty mood yesterday. Charlie wanted me to show him where George's hissing noise was coming from.

"I just want to know and make sure it is water running and not gas hissing," Charlie told me.

My father instigated this. It was the water meter hissing and not the gas meter Charlie discerned.

I then reminded Charlie about fixing mom's television. I was fishing for some compliments and got some.

"It is a shame you can't do that for a living because you have such an intuitive sense and nature about you and all things electronic," Charlie told me.

Juggling Cats is not Very Easy to Do...

Charlie just called me. He sounded in a big hurry.

"Just wanted to make sure you were home before I came over with your medications," Charlie told me. "I've got you a surprise you will enjoy!"

"If you were half an hour earlier, then I would've missed you," I replied and then told Charlie of my mother's TV time woes.

Mom said their television was kaput and she needed an electronics guy pronto. When I showed her what she was doing wrong, then she started to laugh. She just had make sure the TV input was set to HDMI.

"I am taking Horsefly to the movies, Do you want to come?" Charlie very nicely asked me.

Old Twinkle Toes...

https://www.reddit.com

"Let me show you something very interesting," I told my ever inquisitive father after grabbing my flashlight off my entertainment center last night. "Maggie and I were in the backyard earlier this afternoon when I heard a loud hissing."

We walked over into George's pitch black backyard with my little flashlight guiding our way.

"There is water running out of George's laundry room which he hit with his car, and it has been running for days apparently," I told my father. "And I also haven't seen him in over a week."

"He must be in some kind of treatment center right now," my inquisitive fathered added.

"I hope it is that simple," I told my father. "Let's hope he's not in jail."

Dad said he didn't have any clue what was happening either.

"I do know he is going to have to get that leak fixed, or he is going to have one hell of a utility bill."

Midnight Thunderstorms Abound...

I awoke at midnight and we were having a little thunderstorm to greet us. It was just pouring rain and the lightning show was entirely impressive. I usually sleep through these storms and lament their passage when my father tells me about it the next day. I am a very sound sleeper.

As usual, a freight train is roaring through downtown as it often does here during inclement weather. My father has begun noticing this little quirk as well.

What is going on over there you might ask? Well our dearest Maggie just begged me into bringing her food dish with fresh food into the computer room. That's our usual routine among us just usually it is much earlier around 9pm.

The cooties have gone away with a big thank you to Jan, my friend, who helped with that. A few weeks after Maggie's dog food diet and she is much better. She is not nearly as scratchy or itchy.

Dad leaves for Gulf Shores in the morning at 8m.

"Be sure to look after your mother every day and Charlie will be feeding you and your medications every night," my father told me. "Charlie is going grocery shopping with you as well."

Just Window Shopping...

I walked into Fred's around lunch planning to window shop some and there was already a line of customers that ended somewhere down a row in the back of the the store.

"They are going to think you are shop lifting every time yo go in that store and don't buy something," my grouchy, ill tempered father had told me just last night. "Remember? I ran a pharmacy and retail business for 47 years. When they see you sporting that homeless look, they are going to think you are a meth head."

"Shana? We need a new register open!" the new manager loudly said abruptly asked over the intercom.

I was so sad to see that Kathy had left us. She had a lot of good-natured heart in her.

A very frumpy little white woman emerged from the manager's seat getting a new line open. She was a little squat woman -- much like the pygmies and aboriginals of Sumatra and Borneo.

When I was finished finding what I fancied and partly came for, I walked up to the register and the line had thankfully halved from when I walked in. It was a short walk to my car awhile eating some ice-cream.

Two Peas In A Crowded Pod...

Are you an irregular pea or just an oblong pea? I have decided I am an obtuse pea.

"Did I put your cigarettes in your sack?" my mother asked me as I stood at their back door.

I looked in my sack and yes, there there was a package of Doral full flavor 100's cigarettes.

"Don''t do that to me -- it makes me very nervous," I replied to my mother with a very lukewarm smile. "I am easily tempted. I don't want to get them, and the cigars as well."

She was operating on  Johnny Otis's strict orders.

Mom was lonely this afternoon and I was as well. It was rather odd for her to be up and about this time of the day.

"Let's go to us a  large thick chocolate milkshake at Sonic!" I told my mother in a moment of inspiration. "And we will do some people watching as well."

"Let's wait untel 8pm when the shakes are all off half  price," my mother astutely told me.

Dad and I also had a minor scrape last night.

"You're beginning to get that homeless look again," he told me -- chastising me. "Charlie needs to cut your hair again and you need to vary your wardrobe and wear some different shirts."

Fall Off that Horse and Get Right Back On....

I crumpled up the remainder of the packs of the Doral cigarettes and threw them away. Let's see if we can get a little more time than ten days quitting. I didn't smoke for years and then started to smoke cigarillos and I was on a ride to hell. This time we will start out at a trot and not full bore on.

Swing Low... Sweet Chariot...

We''re making progress as the trash man came on his usual Wednesday run today and Maggie didn't bark incessantly for an hour. She was sound asleep in the back bedroom and I was on the computer in the front computer room. I took this opportunity to clip her nails after closing the bedroom door. She is slicker than a greased pig at the county fair during such ordeals. I've got to keep her in enclosed spaces to be able to catch her. It breaks my heart having her be so skittish towards me. She sees me coming and thinks medications, ointments, or something similar. She flies out that dog door to escape.

Cuddles and I...

Yes, It was just cuddles and I... "What do you mean it is time to get up?"  This is what Maggie indignantly seemed to impart when I rose out of bed awakened by Lopez Landscaping carrying along the worlds loudest two lawnmowers. I hurried out of the bed to go lock the dog door so Maggie couldn't make her grand escape out of TranzAlkatraz. I then heard the weed eater crank adding more gravitas to the situation. I wanted to tell Lopez and crew that 8am is just a tad early for my neighbors and I.

See What I Mean?

That's what my father said to me last night when I asked very nicely for an extra pack of cigarettes from their coat closet. I managed to go 10 days tobacco free. Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim. Dad ran and got me another pack of smokes on his way into work. I should say I feel defeated, but I don't. That cigarette I had just a moment ago felt and inhaled like ecstasy.

Does the Circus Now Own Family Dollar?

In all fairness, she certainly was cute. I was just in Family Dollar for their summer sale. The clerk completely enthralled me. She had completely bleached silver white hair and with flagrantly fluorescent strands on the ends. It reminded of me of anime which is all the rage in Japan.

Charlie! Dear Buddy! Don't Let Me Down Now!

The sun is quickly rising and soon will be above the horizon. Charlie called me a minute ago to see if I was stirring and awake yet. He told me we're getting bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits for the lot of us. That is fine by me.

"It is really good with strawberry preserves or Concorde grape jelly," Charlie told me. "At least try it and tell be what you think."

There is also this salty, sweet and sour thing going on that's supposed to be so good, but I think I will leave that up to the Asian restaurants in town that specialize in such sweet and sour dishes.

The Chuck Wagon Was Just a Wee Little Bit Late This Evening...

http://www.livestrong.com/

My father pulled up in front of the house with the Mags and I on the couch looking out for him. Mom had called and told me he was on his way. I love it when she does that -- keeping me in the loop.

"He is tantalized and mesmerized with a new cellphone tonight," my mother told me.

My mother, the other technophobe in the family, is actually using her cell phone as well which astounds me. You can teach old dogs new tricks.

http://www.potatochipsandwich.com/

My house and my parent's house is just a few miles away so it didn't take Papa long to arrive. Lately, I don't seem to have much more to talk about other than meals on this blog. Papa had cooked cube steak and it was fork tender. We also had cauliflower with a thick white roux sauce and grated cheddar.

"I put you pear salad in a separate container," dad told me. "It is not very good microwaved and best eaten cold and don't forget your biscuits at the bottom of the bag."

I put it in the fridge as my father's and my focus turned to Maggie and her needs. I refilled her big water bowl with fresh water. Maggie then got her a big scoop of freeze dried deliciousness.

Will Work For Food and Soda...

https://www.zaxbys.com/menu/

"The television is still working!" Charlie said with a yes as he stood in my doorway tonight.

Charlie had what I call my classic Cheshire grin. Ear to ear. He was ecstatic.

"Come on inside," I told Charlie very accommodatingly.

I had thought my father had arrived for a moment there and Maggie did as well.

"I can't stay long as Horsefly is at the bowling alley," Charlie told me regretfully.

I still cringe when I hear Charlie say he left Horsefly all alone bowling.

Charlie had also brought me a massive Coke and a Zaxby's chicken tender plate. Charlie then hugged me and went about his evening. It was probably time for Horsefly to eat his nightly chicken tender meal from KFC.

My father arrived at 9:30pm. We took my medications and then my father scurried back to the pharmacy. He was worried a prescription got filled wrong and it was slated to be delivered the next day.

Only Time Will Tell...

http://www.ebay.com/gds

Charlie brought his TV over this past weekend. Amazingly, I was able to get it working. There was this little fuse which could be bought at Radio-Shack. It was about 2 to 4 amps if I can remember correctly. It only took a couple of dollars to get the TV working after a short drive down to Auburn for a fuse.

Charlie just came over and took the TV home. He was one happy soul -- very ecstatic. It was a very nice and large Sanyo LCD widescreen television. I always feel so good when I can help friends and family with stuff like this.

"Do you want something to eat or some Mountain Dews tonight?" Charlie asked me over his cellphone as he drove over here.

"I'm fine, Charlie," I told him very graciously and thankfully. "I still have plenty to drink and eat after Monday night's trip to Kroger."

He will still bring me some sugar laden sodas to put in the fridge.

My father has just left after our very own medication ritual. He was very jovial and very, very chit chatty tonight. Maggie was overjoyed to see both Charlie and my father as well all in one weeknight.

"No Cigars For You!" Said the Anti Smoking Nazi...

I've been craving cigarettes something badly lately, Mainly this week was uncomfortable--so I decided to cut out the cigars yesterday to see if that was the craving culprit. So far, I haven't had any intense or showstopping withdrawals. Cigars and cigarettes are totally different beasts, though--being very, very different from each other. Cigars are to be savored for their aroma and taste, and cigarettes are just basically nicotine delivery devices.

"You're going to get yourself in deep doo doo," my father told me with a stern look last night as we walked across the parking lot of Kroger. "You just need to keep on smoking!"

He cited the peer reviewed study that 95% of all schizophrenics smoke. I thought he would be happy as the "hobby" can get expensive at times. Nothing is never, ever that simple in my humble little life.

"Nicotine calms and soothes those same misfiring receptors in your brain which also affects your mental illness," my father additively told me.

Buzzkill was what was going through my mind as he said that.

La Fiesta Time...

"Have you really made it all day without your cigars?" mom just asked me excitedly after delivering my Mexican meal.

I told her yes I had and that I am going to do this. I am going to quit smoking for good. Next time you enter my house you will not be enveloped in a dense cloud and a and the deep haze of cigar smoke. I also worry about Maggie inhaling all that secondhand smoke.

Kranky Kroger...

http://www.brandeating.com/

We got LaQuicia tonight according to her name tag and boy was she slow and sullen for a checkout lady. Dad and I both vocalized that we needed our Paige pronto who's appearances have become erratic the last few weeks. Paige was supervising the gas pumps in the parking lot tonight.

I rolled my eyes in flagrant discontent as I bagged my own groceries. I could also see my extra purchase of bananas grow into banana trees before my very own eyes. We finally and promptly headed to my car when I stopped and looked at my father. I sheepishly told him that we didn't remember my Baja Blast sodas.

"Shit!" I told my father as I winced and the anxiety swelled within, "I am so sorry about that.".

No Baja Blasts means no grocery day debriefing and a generally bad feeling -- a feeling of malcontent, loss, and lacking.

"I'll come back and get them tomorrow," I told my father who looked very tired and who was very quiet during all of this endeavor.

My father was a very kind and patient fellow tonight as we walked back inside to purchase my Baja Blast lime sodas. It was a little above $3. With Zack's (an employee) handiwork and a little tussle with the self-checkout machine, we were on our way.

I Am Moored At the Harbor...

http://www.bhg.com/

But there is nut much else going on in this port.

Maggie decided it was time I got out of the bed this afternoon and she barked and barked until I stirred.

"Maggie go eat something!" I mumbled as I turned over in the bed. "Eat some of your dog food!"

That just caused Maggie to bark ever louder in determination.

I got out of the bed and got two of her Pup-Peroni dog treats out of the kitchen cabinet. and she was happy for at least a little while.

She was just mainly bored and lonesome as I had been asleep for hours. Maggie is very vocal when she wants you to do something for her.

Watch Out Kroger For the Dynamic Duo is Coming Your Way...

Well, at least I won't have to buy bananas as I am stocked up here at the house.

I am very eager to get my Mountain Dew Baja Blast drinks. The will still be ice cold by the time I return home from my grocery shopping trip.

Say Goodnight Gracie!

George Takei

He's a Banana Eating Fool...

https://www.sciencedaily.com

Dad certainly has me hooked on bananas. We're going bananas for bananas. I just drove down to Wal-Mart to buy some more. When I got back in the car, I realized I had bought a dozen bananas -- a little over the top I would say. We're going to try some banana pudding in a few days and might need them.

Close Calls But Alls Well that Ends Well...

http://www.keyword-suggestions.com/

I ran up to Kroger last hour to get some whole milk. I still had two big bags of Kroger frosted flakes left from last Monday. My ex-wife would have just eat the cereal dry. Something for which I could barely or ever have the taste to do. I would be in the dire straights of hunger to do that.

Kroger was super crazy this late afternoon as I was getting my two gallons of sweet milk. I checked out in the self checkout line which makes things infinitely more easy once you learn to use one, Soon as I pulled into my driveway at home, Charlie pulled up to the curb with my Sunday fried chicken meal. That was a close call to say the least. I forgot about it being Sunday.

"I almost missed you!" I told Charlie as he walked across the yard.

I felt extremely relieved.. Charlie laughed and said he was just going to give Maggie my meal in the backyard.

"Where's dad?" I asked thinking of the ramifications of him seeing me driving home with two gallons of extra milk.

"He is taking the grandchildren home down in Auburn," Charlie replied. "So you are stuck with me!"

Charlie didn't have much to do cleaning wise tonight so he got busy sweeping and swiffering my hardwood floors.

"Maggie sure sheds a lot," Charlie told me as an observation and not a scolding.

Charlie can do do in 15 minutes what takes me an hour to do myself. We then fed and watered Maggie and Charlie was on his way.