It's Okay. It's Alright. Cause There is Beauty in the Breakdown...

Maybe I shouldn't write about this.

This is probably schizoaffective related (paranoia) but that last call was the second call to my father in an hour. He didn't answer the phone on either call. I might be paranoid, but I believe my father is playing cat and mouse with me and avoiding my phone calls. He never parts from his cellphone. He also knows I will ask for my medications early which I will. I woke up in a mental fog and the mental illness doldrums. It is not that bad, but I would feel 10 times better with my meds in my belly. It is a long stretch until 9 PM tonight.

Walk Towards the Light...

"Come over here and get your medications," my father said urgently and sympathetically over the phone. "I was out working in the yard and missed your calls. For god's sake, let's not get mired in the emergency room."

By this time, I was sobbing as the symptoms had escalated.

"Get you a drink out of the fridge and I have your medications in my hand," my father said when I arrived. "I should've driven to you but I wasn't thinking on my feet. I would never want you to suffer like that."

I gulped the myriad of psychiatric medications down with a swig of ice cold diet Coke. I know it is psychosomatic but I immediately felt better in my father's presence and after taking my medications. It is scary, you know? Not having control of your mental faculties.

Home Bound...

Traffic was very light as I drove home which was appreciated. I immediately put my six diet Cokes in the freezer upon entering my house. I wanted them cold pronto. They are such a pleasure. Maggie was in tune to that something was wrong. She got on the couch with me and pleaded for me to scratch her neck and belly which I obliged. Maggie's needs are much more simple than mine.

The phone then loudly and abruptly rang...

"Are you okay?" my father asked with a frantic sound to his voice. "Sirens are blasting down the street. I should have come to your house with your medications."

"I am fine!" I assured my father. "Maggie and I are safe and sound."