Seeking answers to success…….

I have been thinking much lately on how to be successful in life. I am not talking being the best business man or having a successful profession. I am talking about how to just live life with meaning and substance.

I think of my father often when I think of a successful man. I sometimes compare myself to him and find some of my faults. I have learned a few things lately that are becoming clear to me and I hope to emulate them.

One thing I have learned that persistence and perseverance is key to success. I have seen my father have a hundred setbacks and pitfalls yet he always picks himself up and goes forward working ever harder to correct those mistakes. It’s always easy to err but so hard to fix those errors. We are all human and make mistakes but some of us tend to make more than others and thus have to work even harder.

I also think of my illness and whether or not I sometimes use it as a crutch. I think to myself that I am screwed and have no hope. That I can work so hard and in the end failing because of my illness. This is a trap and I see it now. I can always use schizophrenia as an excuse or I can actively fight to overcome it. I can seek newer and better medicines. I can actively study and research the latest research reports and drug studies and stay apprised of any new developments. I can actively question my doctor and keep her on her toes.

I am slowly learning as I go and I am growing as a person. I have great hopes for the future now. A few months ago my future consisted of staying warm and getting something to eat. That’s one of the traps of being homeless. You are so caught up in your current situation and needs that you cannot think of the future much. I see this now and I was lucky to have a family willing to give me a second chance. Many homeless people may not have this or just not have the gumption to call and ask for help. It is humbling and humiliating to call a loved one and ask for charity and admit your situation. I still don’t understand how I got the courage to call my mother. That constant, hand numbing cold can make you do some tough things to seek relief.

This post will evolve as I think more on this. Just some thoughts I wanted to share. I will explore this line of thinking in future writings down the road.