Dinner for Two and a TV Too

I was not feeling up to much tonight but lots happened. Thursday is the night I and my mother go out to eat every week. I just couldn’t disappoint her. She hadn’t eaten all day in preparation for our night out. I called her and told her I would pick her up in a few moments. I drove over and knocked on the back door of my parent’s house. She shuffled to the door in her nightgown. Apparently, she had fallen back to sleep after my call.

“Do you still want to go get something to eat?” I asked.

“I am just starving,” She said. “Let me put on some clothes and we will go.”

I was kind of hoping she would say no and would go back to bed. She went into her bedroom for a few moments, got dressed, and came back out looking disheveled.

“Mom, brush your hair and put on a little makeup,” I said.

“I don’t really have it together tonight,” She said after a light hearted laugh. “I just woke up.”

“Here, let me help you,” I replied.

I walked her into her bathroom and tried to help her fix her hair with a hair brush. She half-heartedly put on some lipstick and other makeup.

“Are you sure you want to go out to eat?” I asked. “It seems me and you don’t have it together tonight.”

“Let’s go down to the barbeque place and get a plate.” She replied. “I also need to go by your father’s store and get some birthday cards for your cousins.”

We walked outside, down to the car, and got in. Soon, we were on our way down through the valley to get something to eat.

“What are you getting?” My mother asked as we stood at the counter in the restaurant.

“A smoked chicken plate,” I said.

The lady at the counter took my order and my mother told her to get her the same thing as well. We sat down to eat but I didn’t have any kind of appetite. I was experiencing severe paranoia and thought everyone in the restaurant was watching me and laughing at me.

“Are you okay?” My mother asked as she held out her hand to hold mine.

This jolted me back into reality. I had been staring off into space.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel good,” I replied. “I have a headache and am not that hungry.”

My mother ate all that was on her plate. I only ate a few bites. I got a to-go box and took the rest home with me. We now had to drive down to my father’s pharmacy so mom could get some cards and some coca-colas. As we drove up in the parking lot, thankfully, my father’s store was in a lull and it was empty. I didn’t feel like answering questions or being social with some of his long time customers who know me.

“You two doing okay?” My father asked. “Did you go to the White House?”

“We are fine,” I said trying to down play the real situation. “No, we went to the barbeque place just up the road.”

“You are making me hungry just talking about it,” My father replied.

Mom finished her shopping and declared that she was ready to head home.

“See ya Dad,” I said.

“You sure you are okay?” My father asked. “You two are acting kind of strange.”

“Yeah, we are fine,” I replied. “We are both just tired.”

I have learned to downplay my episodes as they cause unwanted attention.

I drove Mom home and dropped her off under the foyer. She thanked me for the meal out and asked me once again if I was okay. I assured her that everything was fine and I just needed to go home and have a lie down. I drove on home and was glad to pull up in the drive way and get that over with. I walked inside and found five messages on my answering machine. I debated over pressing the play button. I hit play anyway. All the messages were from my Great Uncle Bob.

“Andrew? I need you to come over and put my televisions in my Van and I need you to take me down to the repair shop tomorrow to get them fixed,” The first message from Uncle Bob said.

The subsequent messages were of the same variety. His televisions had gotten hit by lightning in that severe storm we had last week and Charlie had brought him a temporary TV so he could watch for the time being. I dialed his number and got him on the phone.

“Hello?” Bob asked.

“Bob, I can’t come tonight or tomorrow,” I said. “I don’t feel well.”

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked.

“That is none of your business,” I replied. “I don’t mean to come across as abrupt but I really don’t feel well.”

The majority of my extended family doesn’t know about my mental illness.

“I really need to get these televisions down to the shop tomorrow,” He said.

“Sorry bud,” I replied. “But you are going to have to find someone else. I am not up to doing much for the next few days. If you are willing to wait until next week, I can help you. If you can’t wait, then get Linda and Florene to help.”

“I really need to get them fixed tomorrow,” He said persistently. “If you could just put them in the van and drive me down, I would appreciate it.”

“Bob, good night,” I replied. “I will talk to you next week when I am feeling better.”

“What?” Bob asked sounding confused. He had never heard me basically say no before and it caught him by surprise.

“Good night,” I said. “I need to head to bed.”

I hung up the phone and paced back and forth in front of my entertainment center awaiting him to call back. After several minutes, the phone remained quiet and I could finally calm down. I was almost beside myself. I sat on my back porch for an hour, smoking cigarettes, until my anxiety started to abate. I feel much better now.