Ferret Comes Home

As I had written earlier, I wanted a pot roast for supper. I walked down to the Pig to buy one. Today, the flea market down from the Pig was bustling with activity. Apparently, they have run off Church Lady from sitting in front of the exit of the grocery store as today she was sitting at a table way down from it near the flea market. It kind of makes a good fit as the people who run the flea market are country bumpkins and Church Lady is one as well. I walked by her table and she called out to me.

“God bless you sir!” She said. “Care to give some of your good fortune to the Lord?”

She handed me this little pamphlet about how the end times were near and unbelievers would perish in the flames of hell if they didn’t repent and give their lives to Christ. I leaned forward over her table so she could hear me whisper.

“I know you are full of shit,” I said. “Monte saw you buying cigarettes and beer a few weeks ago so don’t bother me again.”

“Now, don’t be talkin’ to a servant of the Lord in that way!” She said loudly and was visibly shaken.

“Those were for a friend of mine,” She leaned forward and whispered back.

“What kind of servant of the Lord buys cigarettes and beer for a friend?” I asked. “Isn’t that a sin?”

She looked all around her nervously to survey if anyone had overheard our exchange.

“I won’t say a word if you just never bother me again,” I replied.

“I won’t bother you again so just go away,” She said relenting.

She couldn’t get rid of me fast enough.

I walked on up to finish my shopping. As I exited the store, I saw Slop and asked him if he had seen George. Slop said no and I was disappointed in that I was looking forward to talking to him.

“I did see someone and you will never be guessin’ who it be,” Slop said.

“Who?” I asked inquisitively.

“Give me a dolla and I will tells you,” Slop said.

“Slop, I thought you said you would never ask me for a buck again,” I replied.

“I just be kidin’ with ya,” Slop said. “Ferret was around dis mornin’.”

“Where has Ferret been?” I asked.

“He said he been workin’ up in Atlanta but lost his job and came back here to stay with his moms for awhile,” Slop said.

“Well, tell Ferret I said hello if you see him again,” I replied.

“I sho will,” Slop said.

Well, that was interesting. I haven’t seen Ferret for months now and he can be some interesting writing material. Maybe, in the next few days I will catch up with him and found out what he has been up too. Ferret is probably the most nervous guy you will ever meet. Throw George in the mix and it makes for a very interesting Piggly Wiggly groupie encounter.