Anxious Days and Sleepless Nights

I hate to use the blog to whine. I will just say that I am dealing with a lot of anxiety at the moment and don’t feel well. I didn’t get to sleep until 4 am this morning due to anxiety. This too shall pass as it always does. I keep hearing what sounds like a car door shutting outside in the driveway and it makes me literally jump in my chair or in the bed. I go look out the window and the drive way is empty. The last thing I want right now is social contact and visitors. It is a disconcerting feeling and just part of my illness. Now, would be a good time for me to head out on an extended hiking or camping trip to clear my mind, but the responsibilities of conventional life beckon and call.

To balance this post, here are some positive things going on:

1) I managed to find lots of good books on Native Americans in the Southeast Saturday at the library. I have been spending much of my time reading. This subject fascinates me.

2) I have been working on a little novella of sorts about life in the south during the great depression. It is in the outline and planning stage and will be posted on my Possum in the Pot blog. It is drawing from many of the stories I heard my Grandmother and her sisters tell me about life growing up in the Great Depression. They were very poor materially, but the richest people I have ever known when it comes to the less tangible wealth of happiness and harmony.

3) They started work again on my new/old house. This has been a long and drawn out affair, but the tentative deadline for me moving in is before Christmas. My funds are limited and I have been partially relying upon the labor and charity of my father and Charlie to complete this project. I will try to get some pictures up for those of you that are interested in seeing it.

4) I found a box full of unassembled model railroad kits (mainly boxcars) a few days ago in storage under the basement. I thought my ex-wife had kept them, but apparently she had boxed them up and didn’t label the box. I pulled out all my supplies and have been spending quiet evenings assembling the kits and then painting and weathering them with my airbrush. It feels good to be active in my preferred hobby again.