I have been obsessing about beer for weeks. My inhibitions finally broke down and my indescribable urge to imbibe overcame me. I drove down and bought the cheapest most “high gravity” brew (8.1 percent alcohol) I could find, Steel Reserve malt liqueur. I drove home, sat in this chair, and cracked opened a can. I immediately swallowed it down and the effects of the alcohol soon coursed through my blood stream. Oh, it felt so good. I could start to feel my anxiety abate. That feeling of euphoria overcame me. I had finally given in to my addictive personally. I could no longer fight it.
After a few beers, I sat in my chair and sobbed softly. I’ve done so well to abstain for the longest time. Life has just been hell this week and I wanted to feel good. I wanted to forget my problems. Hopefully, I will be able to control this to some extent. I will try, but I have missed the bubbly brew to much that it has been an all encompassing thought.
I just want to be honest on the blog. You will get to read all my trials and tribulations. Now, I have almost finished another beer and must go crack open another. I want to get completely inebriated before I go to bed. Tomorrow morning I will awake hating myself, but for the time I just want to feel good. I want cast all my cares to the wind.
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