The older I get and the more experience I have with my illness the more I realize how simple and quiet I must keep my life. I often have the intentions of emulating my grandmother’s and her sister’s ways of life. Those summer days in the country spent with them on her farm are some of the most heartfelt and welcomed memories I possess; those mornings where I awoke to the smell of cooking bacon and brewing coffee; those afternoons spent sitting on the back porch shucking corn from the garden and gossiping; those quiet evenings sitting with my grandmother on her front porch drinking ice cold sweet tea as the sounds of katydids called. All these memories are like precious little moments that I will carry with me until I die and they comfort me.
Today has been one of those quiet days of reflection. I often think back over my life and all that has occurred and I am so glad to be where I am now. I have so much to be thankful for and possess what so many lack. I have a new home that is very affordable and will accommodate me nicely. I have plenty of food and clean water. I have a family who loves me and has become fiercely protective of me and my well being. I have a job that fits within my limitations and affords me a lot of freedom and autonomy. I also have plenty of quiet time to rest, relax, read, and write. All of these things are so important and so very integral to the well being of my mental health.
My medicine only lessens my symptoms and cannot fully cure my disease. It is something that I will always have to live with to some degree or another, but with the above mentioned living conditions my life gets about as good as anyone with paranoid schizophrenia could expect and for that I am grateful.
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