No Games Today

The phone calls started this afternoon. I guess my little talk with Uncle Bob during our last encounter didn’t register or something. We did the little phone tag game twice. I then answered the phone on the third barrage of rings and diffused the situation. I haven’t felt well lately and didn’t feel like playing any stupid games today.

“Andrew, I got a new TV and DVD player and I need you to come hook them up,” Bob said on the other end in his usual country twang voice.

“Let me put on a shirt and I will be right over,” I replied.

I drove the two blocks to his house and pulled up out front. The goats in his back yard were making a terrible amount of racket as I walked to the front door. I rang the door bell and he shuffled to open it in his 84 year old gait.

“Come on in! Come on in!” Bob said excitedly as he opened the door.

Bob was genuinely glad to see me.

We walked into the den and I got busy hooking up his new television to the DVD player. Uncle Bob had driven down to Best Buy to purchase these items. They had sold him those ridiculously expensive gold-plated connection cables and many cables he did not need. I started to tell him that he had wasted his money, but knew it would have been more trouble that it was worth. Those sales persons are on commission and took advantage of an elderly customer who was clueless about such things.

It took me almost an hour to explain to Uncle Bob how to use the remote controls to get a DVD to play. He kept asking me to show him how to do it one more time.

“Now, what in high hell does that button do again?” Bob would ask looking confused.

“Bob, you need to set the television to video-1 to play a DVD,” I would reply.

“Well, goddamn, ain’t there an easier way to watch the damn things?” Bob would ask.

A few times, I had to stifle a smile. I doubt he will ever be able to watch a DVD without me coming over and starting it for him.

“Just sit down awhile and talk to me,” Bob said. “I feel like the walls of this here house are closing in on me since Jessie (his wife) died.”

We sat and talked for a long time. Uncle Bob is one of those people you have a one-way conversation with. Basically, I just sat and listened to him ramble on. He was lonely.

Bob is also the most gaseous senior citizen you have ever met. He let quite a few rip during our conversation and his customary “Excuse me” would be his reply. When I was child, Bob would have thrilled my soul. Unfortunately, he didn’t marry Aunt Jessie until later in life so I missed out a flatulent Uncle Bob in my youth. My mother calls him country and uncouth.

I had left a pot of spaghetti sauce cooking on the stove and finally had to bid Uncle Bob farewell. I did have to walk out into the back yard to look at the goats before I left due to Uncle Bob’s insistence. I then drove home and got my spaghetti noodles boiling for supper. Just another day in the life of Andrew.