“Hey, I am headed down to Auburn to the mall when I get off to go get some clothes,” She told me. “I need some new bras.”
“Why don’t you just buy them at Wal-Mart where you work?” I asked.
“I don’t buy cheap bras,” She replied snidely. “They never fit right and are uncomfortable.”
Carolyn is, um, well endowed as far as the front of her upper torso is concerned.
“I am probably going to run by Victoria’s Secret and see if they have any sales. Is there anything you can think of for me to buy for this weekend when I am off?” She asked seductively and suggestively.
“Buy a sexy thong. I like thongs,” I replied.
You could almost hear Carolyn audibly choke on the other end.
“Listen, I have spent most of my adult life actively trying to find comfortable underwear that doesn’t ride up my butt. I am not spending $10 or $20 dollars on a thong I will only wear for one night,” She replied adamantly and fiercely with a hint of amusement in her voice. “I am way too old for those things. Besides, my butt is too big. It wouldn’t look sexy.”
“You’re butt is not big!” I said as I laughed.
Why do all women think their butts look too big? Most men like big butts. I know I do. I would like Carolyn’s to be a little bigger.
I then replied, “Well, the only other thing that really turns me on is a silk slip. I find those oh so sexy on a vivacious woman.”
“If I spend all that money on a silk slip are you going to make it worth my while?”
“I will show you the night of your life.”
“Is there anything you need while I am down there?” She then asked.
“Will you pick me up a couple of packs of size 36 underwear as well? Make sure it is 100% cotton,” I asked and replied timidly not sure how she would take that.
“Does this mean we are getting married?” She asked me facetiously.
“What?” I asked confused and befuddled as I swallowed hard and audibly.
“Hey, I am just kidding silly! It is just the last time I bought underwear for a man I was married to that idiot that is my ex.”
I laughed again nervously.
“I have to go. I’ll see you tonight, okay?” She said.
“I will have some supper ready. How does Lasagna sound?”
“Oh, now I am really rating,” Carolyn replied. “You are going to cook me lasagna?”
“I will have it ready around eight”
“See you tonight.”
We hung up the phone.
Now, I have to rush to Kroger and get all the stuff for Lasagna, salad, and breadsticks. I think I might just run by the dollar store as well and buy some scented candles. Maybe I can entice Carolyn into spending the night and modeling that new silk slip this evening. I don’t think I can wait until the weekend.
5 comments:
That is hilarious. I love the way you two flirt with each other.
Now I'm hungry!
Hmmm... Perhaps you could have enticed her with a thong for yourself...?
Was that comment out loud?
Nevermind...
I've been thinking about you today. About your plans to hike the trail and about reading. I am so happy for you that your medications are working and maybe not being able to read War and Peace is a small price to pay for a more peaceful existence. Maybe, some lighter reading would be just as satisfying, hopefully. As far as the trail is concerned, you wouldn't have to do the whole thing in one summer. Maybe do 4 weeks at a time, take a break and then go back. Completing it would be exhilarating, no matter how you did it.
And... thank you for my Carolyn and Andrew fix. One of my reasons for loving your stories is, that I have loved a man that is 11 years my junior. The age was never an issue with us. Just other things.
Sweet dreams tonight.
Silly rabbit, only mothers and wives buy tighty whities for men!
However, if you specified a 1980's, jungle-print thong, then that would be an acceptable gift from a girlfriend or "friends with benefits".
"P" over and out
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