It has rained for much of the afternoon. I am not complaining because we needed it. It’s as if I could see the grass and the trees turn greener before my eyes as they soaked up this much needed moisture. I stood outside in a soft rain and smoked my pipe shielding it from the rain with the brow of my baseball cap and my head turned downwards. The drops felt good but cold on my skin. I felt renewed and came in and changed my t-shirt.
I have had a personal musical revolution today. I have often wondered why I haven’t bought a music CD in years. (I have a huge collection from the early nineties) I do not listen to popular radio either. The music bores me and doesn’t interest me. I did something today that I said I would never do. I downloaded a peer to peer application called kazaa lite++ resurrection and started to look for music that interested me. I also looked around the web for bands that had a following and were not on my local radio stations. Within minutes, I had megabytes and megabytes of music to try out. From the Pixies, to Sloan, to the Mathew Good Band and many others, I had tons of neat music to peruse. I now know why the RIAA is so scared of these applications. I could find almost anything my heart desired and had it on my hard drive within a matter of minutes.
My ex-wife called earlier and we talked for a few short moments. She just called to check up on me. Our conversations are less than fulfilling. It amounts to me sitting there and listening to her talk about her day and what ails her. I want to cut myself off so bad but she still has A LOT of my personal possessions that I have no way to move here so I am SOL. I have to play nice until I am able to drive again. It is pure and simple politics. I have to play the nice guy until I get some transportation and start moving much of my stuff from my former home. She has my audiophile quality stereo system worth thousands of dollars and my large aperture Sony Trinitron TV. She also has much of my model railroading supplies like my expensive air brush system and all my rolling stock. I have to tread carefully and play nice or I fear she would damage them. She is a live wire when it comes to such things. I sometimes wonder who is more mentally ill; me or her and that is a good question.
I wrote a long letter today to the diocese in Birmingham about the pending annulment. I do not feel they have a say in such a matter in that neither I nor her were catholic when we were married. I do not feel they can have a say in such a matter in that it in no way involved them. I guess I am arguing semantics. We will just have to wait and see about the reply. I most definantly will not release my medical records for the diocese though. They can just go on my and her words and descriptions. That is none of their business.
Well, I must close for the evening. Sorry for my bad writing tonight. I don’t feel well and I did not proofread myself. If it sucks then just laugh and read on. I have a lot of stress on me right now and it is showing in all areas of my life. I want to just crawl under a rock and disappear. I want calm and peace among many things. Good night and may you be blessed.
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