The annulment……

My ex-wife has petitioned the Catholic Church for an annulment. I have not been forth giving. They sent a form yesterday from the diocese in Birmingham Alabama to release my medical records. I will not release something like that to a third party. We were not married in the Catholic Church but in a Methodist church so I think they have no jurisdiction.

She called tonight complaining that I was being uncooperative. I laughed out loud heartily at that.

I had a few questions to ask…..

“Did you sleep with me almost every night for two years?” I asked her on the phone.

She hesitated.

“Well did you? Or am I imagining things.” I replied. “Or was it some delusion of sex brought on by my schizophrenia.”

Sex never enters into my problems with schizophrenia. I wish it did. It would certainly make things much more livable. I would much more like delusions of sex than listless, lazy cats lying around my apartment who are apparitions. That problem or the one of me staring at a wall for hours on end trying to decipher almost unintelligible hieroglyphics.

“I want to get remarried in the Catholic Church and I need you to cooperate.” She pleaded.

“I will not let you dismiss all we had together just so it fits into your new theological life.” I decreed. “I loved you and lived with you for years and now you are trying to sweep all that under the rug and start anew.”

“You can be such a stubborn asshole!!!!” she screamed back into the phone.

“And you can be such an uncaring bitch!!!!” I screamed back.

The line grew quiet and we sat there hearing each other breath.

“Listen.” I said. “You can have an annulment but they cannot pry into my private life and dissect me for your fun.”

“I want you to be happy but do not publicly embarrass me with such shit.” I replied.

She was crying really hard on the other side. It sounded pitiful. I thought the phone would short out any second from the tears.

“Listen, Rach, if they ask, I will be willing and sign some papers. I will. But don’t expect me to give out my whole life history just so you can say a marriage that lasted for years didn’t happen. I won’t go in with that.” I responded.

She snuffled and sniffed much and then said okay.

“Have you met anyone that should bring on this whole soap opera tonight?” I asked.

“No, I just want to be ready in case it does happen.” She replied.

“Jesus Christ!” I thought to myself. All of this bull shit tonight was over some phantom, future relationship. Christ, I am calling relationships anonymous if they have such a thing and going on the 12 step program for that.

“Good night, Rach and may you sleep well but I am tired and have had enough.” I responded and clutched my wallet in my hand. Good thing it is Sunday in the south as you cannot buy beer here on that so called special day.