The bitch says, “Hello!”

I am not feeling well tonight. I am tired and ornery. My ex-wife called with bad news as always. I am trying my hardest to distance myself from her.

“Social Security wrote today. You owe them $1000 dollars.” She said on the phone.

“Oh great! What for?” I replied.

“They paid you too much on your big check. They are going to take $1000 dollars out of your check over the year.” She replied.

Oh thank you great harbinger of good news I thought to myself. Rachel always has a way of not brightening my day. She always has a way of pissing on my parade.

“Well shit!” I said.

“I will bring you the letter by tomorrow.” Rachel replied.

“Just mail it to me. That would be better.” I replied.

“Why? Do you not want to see me? Why can’t I run it by?” She asked.

I would rather get teeth pulled than see her but I was too kind to say so. She is a bitch and I have come to realize this. Everything has to be dramatic and has to suit her.

“Just mail it to me okay? Is that too hard to do? Just lick a stamp, put it on the envelope, pull the flag up on the mailbox and stick it in!” I exclaimed.

“What have I done to you?” She replied while starting to cry.

Oh god, my heart melted. I cannot stand to hear a woman cry. I was an asshole and I knew it.

“Listen Rach, I am just tired and do not feel good. Bring the letter by tomorrow. I would appreciate it. You have done nothing wrong.” I replied.

Man, I am such a pussy. I just wish she could be as nice to me as I am to her.

“I love you doll.” She said.

“I love you too sweetheart.” I replied. I felt so hypocritical for saying that. It was almost automatic.

Do you want to know the sad thing? I still do love her despite all her flaws. I miss waking up in the morning with her next to me. I miss our home with our cat and dog always around. I miss the smell of her hair and the touch of her skin. I miss so many things but I know she is like poison to my soul. I will try my best to stay away.