Helen came by this morning on her way to mom and dad's to work. She was passing out homemade banana nut bread loafs to friends and family. Needless to say, I was one happy soul to partake of the still warm loaf with a glass of milk for breakfast this morning. I've had an insatiable sweet tooth lately.
Do any of you all remember when I had a tab at Rodger's barbeque a few years ago? I could go get a meal everyday and it would be paid for. Well, it is a second week in a row that I am out of food again. Dad wants to start a tab at Merl's diner for me. I just don't know if I will go though. It is embarrassing to me that my father is having to make such arrangements because I am not allowed money.
24 comments:
Hello Sir:
I can understand completely how you feel embarrassed about having a tab that your father pays for. It would make me shun the place.
Perhaps now is the time to have your father give you control over some or all of your money. I know he has said he would do so on SEVERAL different occasions in the past, but it has never happened.
In my manner of thinking, your continued growth and development stems on actually taking control (or I guess more accurately, being allowed to take control) over more and more of your life.
To stay as it is currently, while perhaps convenient for your father, seems very stifling and debilitating to your own growth and development.
So, perhaps now is the time?
PipeTobacco
Why are you running out of food? Perhaps, when you Mom buys groceries she needs to double the order. Have you told Mom you are out of food? If not, why not?
Does your mom realize that grocery prices have gone up so much that you're not getting near the quantity for your money as you did a year ago? You need to tell Mom that you're running out so she can get you more groceries to last you. Running a tab is more expensive and I don't blame you for feeling embarrassed over it. You've done SO WELL...I think its time that dad rewarded you a little with a tad more independence by letting you have some cash. Show him you can be trusted. Keep up the good work, Andrew.
You need to have a sit down with your parents. There is no reason you should be running out of food!Have your Mom buy you a case of Ramen Noodles, etc... they are super cheap and FILLING!
I don't like the idea of a tab, either. Many places have gift cards - is he worried about the restaurant's serving liquor?
Another solution is to have a grocery store deliver goods to your home. I can't see why your dad would object to that.
(I wish he'd just give you money, but he has some obvious trust issues. I can't blame him, but I really see your side as well)
Sit down and talk this through with your dad.
I hate to think of you being hungry. I hope you can resolve this with your parents soon.
I understand Andrew. I find it difficult to believe that after more than a year your father still does not trust you with money. What more do you have to do to be trusted?
Drew.....I hope your soul is feed just by seeing the love and friendship you have from all these people here. If only we all where loved as much....
Sooner or later there will come a day when you will HAVE to take control of your own finances.
It would certainly be best for you to have some experience in dealing with at least some of those day to day responsibilities.
Maybe when you talk to Dad, suggest taking over buying your own groceries. Make yourself a shopping list of what you think you need for the week - cigarettes and cokes included - and have Dad go with. Once you've established a general amount it should be; dad shouldn't have a problem letting you have that much each week to buy your own groceries.
As you prove you can handle each responsibility - you can ask for more!
I'm not trying to suck all the good out of this - BUT - never, ever forget that if you screw this up, your Dad will then have reason NOT to trust you with further responsibility. You must be able to account for every penny of that money.
This could really be a huge step for you - and for your self esteem, too!
Talk to Dad - man to man. He can either say yes or no. What ya got to loose?
Good luck - - btw - you really are doing very well - you know that, don't you?!
Grannie
Grannie has a good idea. You should be able to get a grocery gift card and shop with that if the cash is a problem. At least go with you mom and get groceries so you can have what you need. I would like the tab and be able to go out and eat once in a while. Stop worrying about what people are thinking, usually they aren't giving it much thought for long. I think the social interaction would be good for you and you might make some more friends.
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I think the diner tab is a good idea-it gets you out of the house for a good enjoyable meal, and you have the social contact with your fellow patrons and the restaurant staff. I know it's embarrassing, but your dad is just looking out for you, so why not give it a try? Nobody will really care that you are running a tab, they'll just be glad to have the business.
banana bread with cream cheese...yummy!!
Hi Andrew, I think Ive commented before, but, hell I'm senile...I very much enjoy your blog, thank you for your honesty.
I can understand that your Dad is trying to protect you and take care of you, but the bottom line is, how much do You think you can take responsibility for?
If you think you can be less dependent and do more for yourself, then sit your Dad down, and tell him this.
sorry for the rant!
take care, Maire
Like some of the others here I think the idea of a tab at a restuarant, while it may be a bit uncomfortable for you at first I don't think anyone is going to be thinking a thing about it or judging you because you have a tab there and i think it would be a good step on your recovery to be out and socializing even in a limited way with people. DO you still go work at your Dad's pharmacy? you never blog about it anymore.
I alos like the idea of gift cards in an amount to allow you to get at least some of your own groceries. You should not be running out of food. That worries me. You need to talk to your folks about it.
can you talk to your Dad about this??
That bread does sound yummy, I have a crazy sweet tooth too. You have a lot of good advice to ponder, I hope you find something that works for you. Enjoy the day:)
tummies don't know money when they're hungry..swallow your pride and delve into some yummies. :)
*(trying to make you smile) :)
E
Sir:
Are you ok? It seems out of keeping for you to be away this long. I hope all is well.
PipeTobacco
http://frumpyprofessor.blogspot.com
eh. if you are not "allowed" money you are certainly allowed to eat! so, if a tab is the way to go, so be it.
besides, it might be good therapy to eat outside your home occasionally. goodness knows I need to do that sometimes because i am such a homebody.
Happy Mother's day to your mom Andrew. I hope you both have a nice relaxing day.
Lacey
Hi Andrew....I'm missing you.
Just stopping in to say hello!
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