Today is the day that we take our trip to Birmingham. I have been mulling over what to take all morning. I really need to iron some shirts and will do that in a moment. I have my suitcase out on my bed and have gotten started. I have till 2 P.M. to pack. Dad had to work today so that has delayed our leaving. We are only staying one night so this shouldn’t be a big deal. Our original plans were scrapped when my father couldn’t get his fill in pharmacist to work more than just this weekend.
Last nights AA meeting was interesting. I struggle with fitting in. I sometimes feel I do not have enough sobriety to know what I am talking about when it is my turn to speak. Last night I was having a having a hard time and felt as if I didn’t belong. There are not any people of my age group that go. The majority of the people that go are way past their forties. Many of them have years and years of sobriety. I am the new kid on the block so to speak.
At the end of our meetings, we stand around in a circle and hold hands as we say the Lords prayer. There was a lady who was court ordered to attend the meeting last night. I had never seen her before. As we stood there holding hands, she started to caress my hand with her thumb and forefingers. I got totally freaked out. What in the hell was this lady doing? I always seem to get the interesting characters in AA. Luckily, the Lord’s Prayer is not that long so I didn’t have to bear this uncomfortable occurrence very long.
Everybody in AA is pushing me to get a sponsor and to make phone calls. I hate calling and bothering people on the phone though; especially about my personal problems. A long time AA member told me last night that the only way I will stay sober is with the help of a sponsor. It was not what I wanted to hear. I tend to be a loner and have a touch of social anxiety. This is part of the program that I am extremely uncomfortable with. I will just play it by ear for a while longer and see how it goes.
Well, I must go iron those shirts and finish packing. I look forward to this trip and the break in my monotonous routine. It will be fun to get out of the house. I hope you all have a great weekend and take care!
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