Today is the Big Day…

Tonight, I start a new journey – a nightshift job with much, much better pay and actual benefits for a change.  I will be all alone all night in my department, though, and that makes me nervous.  I will be master of my domain it seems.  What if there is a question I can’t answer about electronics?  What if I get a cantankerous customer thus sending my anxieties reeling? What if the register goes haywire?  lol  I will just hope for the best and do my best.  I think my worst anxiety attacks are in my past these days, even though I want to knock on wood with saying that.  I seem to never know what lurks around the corner for me anxiety-wise. 

My greatest hopes last night were to stay up all night and sleep during the day today.  That didn’t work so well.  9:30pm rolled around, two hours after my normal bedtime, and I was so sleepy I could barely stay awake and I hadn’t taken an Ambien. I was absolutely miserable.  I went on to bed after eating some lasagna and slept until my normal wakeup time of 3:30am.  A few people had suggested I sleep from 10am to 6pm like a normal night, except in the day, and I will give that a try today taking my Ambien around 9am and a my three 1mg Klonopin for the day as well – hoping that will put me to sleep for many hours.

Well, what do you all think?  Can I do this? Can I make it all alone every night? I’ve changed so much these past few months so I think this change is only a natural progression.  I live by the mantra of taking chances and risks these days.  I wouldn’t have gotten this far so soon without doing that.  I keep living every day like it’s my very last day, and it is proving beneficial and fortuitous.  That’s one of the main reasons I went so public with the blog and all my writings – feeling that if I died tomorrow then all the social conventions and misgivings I was trying to conform to wouldn’t have mattered in the long run of life.  I am really not doing anything wrong other than writing about my life freely, and I know that makes some people uncomfortable, but they can choose not to read.  A few people have emailed me worried about what my family will think if they Google my name and read what I am writing about them.  To hell with my family.  Most of them don’t like me or have ever taken much time to get to really know the real me anyway.  Most of you know me better than my own father does.  They can Google me and do their worst.  All they can do is put peer pressure on me to conform and we all know that these days, I am not up to conforming much as far as my family is concerned.  I have about broken all the “rules” that can be broken.

I would be fool to not be careful what I write about work, though.  I don’t want to lose my job and thus my independence.  That’s why you usually see me write about only the positive aspects of my employment.   We had a few idiot customers come into electronics the past few days and I wanted to write about them so badly! lol  They were true blog fodder and journal writing gems. 

Lawns to Mow…

Today also starts another cycle of my regular customer’s lawns to mow for the week.  I now have ten regular customers including Charlie’s yard next door. My lawn care business is now bringing in $500 dollars per month at $25 dollars per lawn.  I always try to call before coming over to make sure they are home and I get paid. I keep a calendar with my contacts on my Crackberry.   I will try to get a few lawns mowed after I wake up at six this evening after breakfast.  It is going to be hard to juggle nightshift and my lawn care business, though.  At least, I will have my days free and weekends as well.  Just working in sleep will be the problem. I hope to settle into a normal sleeping schedule easily.  I don’t think people would take too kindly to me calling at 8am about mowing their lawns so I am thinking afternoons will be the best bet now.  

Getting George a Job…

Sharyna suggested last night in an email that I get George my old job gathering carts.  I thought that was an excellent idea and don’t know why I haven’t thought of that myself.   My supervisor thinks I walk on water and could do no wrong, and will vouch for anyone I recommend.  George also worked at Wal-Mart’s distribution center in LaGrange for several years so I hope that helps.  I take some solace in that George’s crimes were a crime of stupidity – a momentary lapse in judgment.  He didn’t commit Grand Larson or first degree Murder.  George has always been a hard worker with a strong work ethic and consistently shows up for work even during his drinking days. Mrs. Florene will be so excited about this suggestion and I hope my supervisor is amenable to it as well.   I will talk to my old supervisor Monday and try to set this up hoping George will get parole.  It wouldn’t hurt for the parole board to know George has a 40 hour per week job lined up for when he gets out.

After doing some reading on the web with other’s experiences with DUIs in Alabama and prison sentences, it is looking more and more likely that George will have to wear an ankle alcohol monitoring device for many months.  I know George, and the first thing he will want when he gets home is a drink and a cigar. He has written me several times about his first day of “being out” and of all his dreams.  I just hope he can settle into a more normal routine – back to things the way they were with his mother and working fulltime again.  I have the highest aspirations and hopes for my best friend.  He is going to need to work as each time he sees his parole officer he will have to pay a hefty fee.  I know this from my own experiences with getting a DUI.  Is George an alcoholic? Who knows?  He could always more easily handle his drinking than I could.  I am just going to give him the best support a best friend can give and leave it at that.

The very big question is will George drive thus violating his parole?  George hasn’t had a driver’s license for many years and drove anyway.   I had thought this, but wasn’t sure until I asked Mrs. Florene about it on the phone the other night.  We will find out when and if he gets home.  I am willing to try and carry him around some.  Mrs. Florene is at the age that she is about at the end of her driving days – not being able to see to drive at night.  I am hoping George’s cousin Monte will fill in the gaps, although George will have to pay him to drive him around. 

More FaceBook and Me…

I had an enjoyable experience on FaceBook last night.  The medium is slowly growing on me – more conducive to “conversations” – the commenting system being so much easier to use.  You get almost instant feedback and gratification for your postings with comments and “likes” coming freely.  We discussed sports as related to funding education and other assorted topics.   I’ve also set it up to where my blog postings are automatically posted to FaceBook and I hope this will bring new readers to the blog.  I have Twitter set up with FaceBook as well, but it has tempered my twittering somewhat – making me more thoughtful and careful of what I will write not to overwhelm my “wall” with blurbs.  If you are interested in befriending me then just sign up for an account which takes just a few minutes and click on my FaceBook badge on the blog which will direct you to my profile.