Monday, November 22, 2004

Arguing Relatives…

I awoke this morning to a startle at 6:30AM. What the hell is that? I heard extensive arguing going on upstairs. Yes, my visitors are still here. Most of the times when you think of very elderly people you think slow, mainly quiet and reserved. Not my relatives I assure you. I thought maybe something bad had happened such as a fall or a broken hip. I had put a phone upstairs just for this reason just in case they needed to call 911. I ran upstairs to find out what the commotion was about. I feared something very bad had happened. Keep in mind that they are both extremely hard of hearing and everything they say is a yell.

“Damn it Jessie, I am tired of waiting on you hand and foot.” Bob exclaimed. “And no, we are not buying this house. You couldn’t make it up all the stairs.”

“Buying the house?” I thought and my heart sunk. Good thing I am moving out soon and Charlie is buying this house and I have bought his.

“I am not getting out of bed and I want some breakfast.” Jessie retorted.

“You can get up and make your own damn breakfast. I am not your servant.” Bob decreed.

“Folks, folks, lets calm down.” I said. “I will fix us all something to eat.”

“Well, I am going to ride over to the house and see about the Goats.” Bob said. “I need to cool off and get out of this damn house.”

Jessie and Bob have four goats in their backyard in the city limits. I am sure this is against the law. Bob says they keep the yard clean so he doesn’t have to mow it or clean it. In reality they have turned his backyard into a brown, desolate wasteland. Goats will eat anything and everything. I find this entirely amusing. They also have a dog that was raised with the goats and thinks he is a goat and herds with them. His name is Lucky. A better named would be confused.

After Bob had left, Jessie resorted to her sweet, little old lady persona for me. Well, it was as sweet as Jessie gets. I helped her up out of the bed and grabbed her cane. I went into the other room as she got dressed.

“That Bob sure is hardheaded.” She said.

“Come on, lets go get some breakfast and we will all feel better.” I replied.

I cooked a big pot of coffee, made some grits, and some cheese toast. Bob came back over and we all sat quietly and ate as if nothing had ever happened. Just another day here at retirement home Jonathon. They may be moving back home today since it is Monday and the company called and said the part came in and they will get to work this morning. I can only hope.

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