Of Buggars and Beasties Lurking in the Deadly Dark...

My Dearest Maggie,
My Dearest Darlin' of Mine,

I know there are buggars and beasties out to get us. Let's not forget those dastardly cats as well. The big wide world is a huge and dangerous place. I would kindly ask you to bark in the day, though, instead of at dusk when people are coming home from work and settling in for the evening. Regain your composure as what befits the Duchess, Princess of Mauritania and Maratouse. 

Sincerely, 

Your Zeta Dog, Andrew

**********************************************

Home of the Unbridled Bark

Something certainly has Maggie's knickers in a twist tonight. It sounds as if the Mongol Horde are invading and Maggie is our last, best, and only hope at survival. She would make a good town crier. Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

"Where's my Maggie?" my father asked when he arrived tonight.

Dad was just dog dead tired from working all day. You could see it in his face and eyes. He will soon be 73 in August. I keep thinking he will retire soon.

"She's playing prime and supreme protector," I replied.

"Maggie? Papa's here!" I hollered out the back door after walking through the kitchen.

"There's my girl!" my father exclaimed as Maggie came frantically racing inside to greet him sliding around every corner.

It is not often (exceedingly rare) that Maggie doesn't catch my father's car pulling up front and misses his arrival.

It's Almost Midnight! Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

11:00 PM rolled around last night and her highness, the Duchess and I, went to bed. Maggie knew we were going to bed when I started to turn off all the lights in the house. The TV was turned off and Maggie raced to the bed. She took up her place at the foot on top of the covers. If she gets under the covers then it is like two pigs fighting under a blanket.

"Isn't Papa coming?" she seemed to ask very innocently.

It is the highlight of Maggie's day and I hated to disappoint her.

"Papa had other things to do tonight, sweetheart," I told the Magster as I nestled my head amidst my ultra comfortable pillows.

About midnight, there was a knock on the door. By this time, I was in dreamland. It was my father. I knew he had been to something highfaluting when he was in his BMW. I let him inside.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked me sheepishly wanting a hug.

Mom used to ask my father that all the time and it would aggravate him. Oh, have the tables have turned.

"I didn't mean to be so late."

"I am not really that mad, but I am very ready to go back to sleep," I replied kindly. "I've had a tough day mental illness wise this afternoon and this would certainly happen on one of those days. It's just my luck."

I know it sounds very manipulative, but it was the most opportune time to tell my father of that $34.99 laptop SODIMMs I wanted. My father said he would get Matt to order it in the morning. I sent Matt an email after my father had left.

Evoke the Auschwitz Mantra...

I really can't get mad at the man. I love him so much and he saved me from certain doom many years ago. He also brought me Maggie and I am gracious beyond measure for him doing that. I can turn a blind eye to some malfeasances sometimes.

Epilogue...

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I asked my father as he got up to head home.

"We are forgetting Maggie's ritual!"

Maggie looked on approvingly as we poured freeze dried venison and turkey in her bowl. YUM!

Love is in the Air!

(Shifty Little Eyes) I Think I am in Love, But it Makes Me Kind of Nervous to Say So...

I've had the most fantastic and fun filled time with this new Toshiba laptop. The whole process was fun and exciting from wiping and formatting the hard drive. Installing Windows XP.  To finding and installing all the required device drivers. The only driver I lack is the software dial-up modem drivers. I hope to find them on Toshiba's support website sitting in some dusty corner somewhere.

My only blow was that the hard drive in the laptop was parallel ATA (PATA) instead of Serial ATA (SATA) or "say-tah" for short. I had so hoped to install a 250 GB solid state drive in the contraption. I had one on hand. It would have doubled or tripled its speed and I am not exaggerating. Now, if I can just get Johnny Otis to order that 2 Gigs of SODIMM laptop memory I need for $34.99.

Dad told Charlie how pleased I was with this piece of computer hardware last night and Charlie responded he thought the laptop was too old to be of much good. He was glad I was enjoying it. Au contraire, this laptop was way before its time.

Dear Lord! Don't Get Me Up Something to Do Today, Okay?

The phone just rang and rang as Maggie and I lay in the bed. Maggie, Phone facilitator, the Magster, jumped off the bed and ran over to the phone as quick as she could. If they wanted to get me up then their wish was fulfilled. Hell, it was 10 AM and time for me to get out of the bed anyway. I was resting as my mother used to always say. I answered the phone trying to see if it was my father but they hung up as soon as I could ask hello. That got me paranoid. The Andrew police are out there, you know?

Put that Down Young Man! Right Now!

"No, you can't have that!" the mother quarreled with the small petulant child. "You put that back this minute!"

The kid had started to cry...

That's is what I predominantly heard in the Piggly Wiggly a moment go. It sounded much like Johnny Otis and I squabbling over some computer parts.

Me: "But I want that solid state drive!" 
  
Johnny Otis: "But You can't have it. $100 dollars is too much!"

We know who holds the purse strings around here and I am too big to cry. Horsefly likes to stomp his feet at Johnny Otis when he doesn't get his way or when he gets upset. That always makes me smile and chuckle.

"I'm going to stomp my feet at Johnny Otis!!!"

I feel like Horsefly does some days.

I was looking for a small can of Castleberry's barbecue pork and another can of Poss' Brunswick stew. Things they don't sell in a frou-frou Kroger. It was a Johnny Otis sanctioned purchase thank goodness. They had both and I hurried to check out and head home before it got too hot today. They say a heat wave is just around weather's corner here in the South. It is supposed to get up to 82° degress.

I was walking to my car when I realized I forgot the hamburger buns to make barbecue sandwiches. I put my purchased items in the car and ran back inside to get a pack of buns.

The phone was ringing when I got home. It was my father.

"I can never get you to the phone," he said laughing nervously. "Why don't you come by the pharmacy and I will give you some money to get a prepaid cell phone at Walmart."

I didn't say it but "Nope!" was what I was thinking.

Let's See if We Can Talk Papa Out of This...

Crucial 2GB Kit (2 x 1GB) DDR2-666 SODIMM

It is only $31 dollars from Crucial ($34.99 on NewEgg w/free shipping). The current amount of ram my laptop has is 512 MB and part of that is used for VRAM memory for the integrated graphics.

Trepidatiously, I placed my laptop on its cover upside down, grabbed a screwdriver, and unscrewed the panel that holds the hard drive. No joy on installing an SSD. It was old school parallel ATA. I was so excited that it may work. My elation was deflated. 

The Twenty Minute Shopping Jamboree...

I don't have much to say tonight (watch the proverbial ink floweth out of the proverbial quill). I was quick to my guns grocery shopping this evening. My total tally came out to be $73 dollars despite my father filling up my cart with Marie Callender's meals.

My father forgot my 6 diet Cokes for the evening and rushed home to get them while I was still shopping. He showed back up when I was almost ready to check out. That worked out very well.

"Look for the Vermont white cheddar mac and cheese meal," I excitably told my father. "It is now my favorite Marie's meal. It is absolutely delicious."

We looked and looked and couldn't find it. Seems to me we had some competition regarding that meal. They are very delicious I found out last week after I bought them on a whim. I settled on buying the chicken and broccoli Alfredo meal this week.

The lady checking us out knew my father very well (they flirt and are both recent widowers) from being an old customer of his and told us she's been driving for Uber on the weekends down in Auburn. It sounded very interesting. I've heard rumors, but never an eyewitness account of the service. She said shes made some good money driving with Uber lately. She only works at Kroger on Monday nights and Thursday nights now.

Maggie shut the hell up!

Somethings got Maggie's panties in a twist and she has barked all evening and night -- it is her warning and danger bark. I know she is just trying to keep us and the house safe,  but it is aggravating after going on for an hour now. She was barking when my father and I left for the grocery store and was still barking as I unloaded my groceries out of my car at home. The scraps from Andrew's table were just too good to pass up so she came inside.

The Laptop Has Been Christened...

The first thing I did upon acquiring this new laptop was to wipe the drive, format it, and reinstall Windows XP professional service pack 3. She is purring like a kitten.

I've heard rumors on the web that you can install an SSD or solid state drive in this laptop and I have an extra 250 GB SSD laying around. We may give it a whirl tomorrow. I would have to reinstall Windows XP again, though. My better computer instincts are telling me to leave well enough alone and to not dick around with the thing.

Where is the Captain in Captain D's?

A Tall Order...

Aye, Aye, Captain. 

Every Sunday night Charlie and my father buy us mainly fast food meals and drinks and they deliver them. Sometimes it is potluck and then sometimes you can request a meal. It depends on everybody's mood for the evening. Lately, I've been getting the #1 at Taco Hell which is a burrito supreme and a taco supreme.

My father always complains that Captain D's is way too expensive (He says the same of Arby's, my favorite and beloved fast food place as well that old curmudgeon). The only person who can override this is Charlie. Everybody got jumbo fish platters for supper last night. Maggie got a filet of Alaskan pollack to herself and then wanted mine as well. Maggieisms. Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly as the old saying goes.

Something intrigued me yesterday when George, my neighbor, left his walker near the road by the mailbox. This George logic didn't make any sense.

I told my father George's hair color is not his natural gray. It makes him look much younger than he actually is.

"Go get it and put it on his carport," my father clandestinely told me. "You know him much better than I."

George popped his head out his side door and told me thank you. He really startled me by his presence and sudden appearance. I only have 8 lives left after that.

"Just helping a neighbor out," I told George. "That's what neighbors are for."

I didn't ask questions and told George to have a great day.

Charlie didn't have much cleaning to do last night. I vowed that if Charlie cleaned this house up then I would keep it that way. Dad said Charlie even remarked on how nice my house looks lately.

Pass the Perfectly Potable Sweet Iced Tea and the Potato Salad Please...

"Charlie? Cook the hell out of them!" my father said cajoling Charlie as he stood next to the grill flipping burgers and turning dogs this evening.

"Your better watch out as you may get what you want," Charlie told my father chuckling.

Now, this is how a good cookout should be. We don't have to have the whole Valley over and a close-knit group of friends can have a delicious supper together -- relaxed and conversational without social anxiety, strife, and stressful awkward dialog.

Charlie had a little impromptu cookout late this evening. Dad's favorite thing Charlie grills is his value pack hot dogs. Charlie grills the cheapest brands of hot dogs he can find and they come out tasting delicious. I still prefer Hebrew National hot dogs, though. Dad says they are too frou-frou and expensive for him. This is coming from a man that cooks filet mignons once a week.

"I'd rather have your pork chops and rice over any other meal you cook," I told my father and the entourage and we all agreed what a good meal it was.

"I ate two hotdogs and a hamburger," my father said sitting next to me on the couch now back home -- Maggie's couch that is. "I am stuffed."

The medication ritual and Maggie's ritual stops for nothing, though.

Earlier, I was asking Charlie's wife (Janice) if I could have some more potato salad and she told me to eat all I wanted. I took her literally. She was pleased I was so enamored by it.

Charlie has told me before of his secret to a great hamburger and that is to let the ground chuck marinate in Lea and Perrins Worcestershire sauce overnight in the fridge.

As I was leaving, Charlie handed me a big sack of goodies.  There were two hot dogs and two hamburgers and big Tupperware container of Janice's potato salad. The were also a big bag of potato chips. Ah, Bless!

Laptopitis -- Andrew's New Laptop...

I am probably not going to get much sleep in the next few days tinkering with my new toy and playmate.

And Good Tidings to You People, Too...

Not My Laptop But Close...

Well, Charlie has done it again for yet another year -- utter altruism to the core.

Every year or so many years Charlie buys his wife a new laptop and he gives me the old one to clean up and use.

"Do you still want her old laptop?" Charlie asked me as he was on his way to work. "Walk out with me and we'll get the computer. The thing weighs a ton."

That was another sign this was most likely junk if it was that heavy.

It was misting steadily outside so I grabbed a jacket off the coat rack, donned my favorite baseball cap, and was right behind Charlie as he walked purposely to his car.

I hesitated again and was dubious when Charlie said it was really old and still running Windows XP. Charlie told me farewell and I got back inside and realized I had found a diamond on a sandy shore as far as laptops go. I will have to get a photo up today. This is one fantastic laptop. It was as if it were never used.

Home From the Gulag...

"Do you realize it has been 11 years since you began getting your injection here?" my nurse, Rebecca asked me. "I found it hard to believe I've been working for Dr. Kamath for 15 years as well."

"Has it been that long?" I asked incredulously and astonished. "Risperdal Consta even outlasted my marriage."

Rebecca and I both got a big chuckle out of that -- my snide remark.

"Your ex-wife was just a tad bit eccentric and avant-garde," Rebecca told me. "You were way too down to earth for her."

My nurse Rebecca and ex-wife Rachel both went to high school together.

Pat had my next appointment card promptly ready and I was off to fulfill one more obligation. That was to deliver my next appointment card to my father.

I told my father that when I got back up to the pharmacy and she was right. Dad looked it up on the pharmacy's computers -- his eyes growing big as saucers. It's a wonder my butt cheeks don't look like the craters on the moon.

"That's what you call dedication and commitment," I told my father. "Now can I have a computer part?"

Me saying that tickled my father's funny bone.

I certainly don't want to go back to the way things were 11 years ago.

Horsefly's Night Out...

Horsefly attended a bowling tournament tonight for "gifted" children and adults and won a trophy. Charlie said he almost bowled a perfect game. He was carrying that trophy across the yard with my father and Charlie hot on his heels.

"He will carry around that trophy for 2 whole weeks," Charlie said as well very proud of Horsefly.

"What did Horsefly just say?" I then asked Charlie stymied. "It sounded urgent."

Horsefly was busily walking around the house mumbling to himself. Charlie was in my bedroom changing my sheets and then putting the dirty ones in my washing machine.

Horsefly's language skills continue to degrade over the years and it worries me. Only a few people can understand him now. Even I have trouble understanding him lately. He has this staccato cadence to his voice and speech that makes his voice sound garbled.

"He needs to use your bathroom and the door is shut," Charlie said smiling.

My toilet got flushed a many as ten times after Horsefly had done his business.

"He wears out the toilets all the time at home," Charlie said.

Dad was fine tonight and was even feeling his oats this evening. Last night was all just a big joke to him. Charlie and I weren't laughing. I bet he wouldn't be laughing if a showed up down at the pharmacy today after drinking a 12 pack of beer.

"I bet you felt like shit this morning when you woke up," I told him.

"Now I know why I don't drink that often," he replied.

I was sad to see the threesome go as I was hungry for company and Maggie was as well. Maggie and I both watched out the window as the whole crew drove off in Charlie's Caprica.

Much Captain Morgan was Consumed Today...

Charlie saved the day tonight. I owe him a very big and huge favor. The tables have certainly turned regarding my own sobriety and my father's increasing tendency to get drunk. My father had called me about 10 PM to tell me he was on the way. It was growing especially late and I was beginning to get worried. Dad clearly sounded drunk over the phone. I immediately called Charlie's cell phone and then called my father back.

"Charlie is going to pick you up and we all three will go buy groceries," I told my father. "Charlie wants to go with us to help me find some bargains (white lie)."

"Tell him I said to pull a rabbit out of his hat," my father laughed drunkenly and gleefully.

The Caprica soon pulled up and the excitement ensued. It was about 11 PM and growing later and later. I dreaded having to go through those self checkout lanes as they are a pain the ass when you have lots of groceries.

"Where are you going?" Charlie asked as my father ambled across my front yard almost falling down.

"I'm taking a piss in Andrew's shrubbery on the side of his house," my father said loudly so the whole neighborhood could hear us.

"I've had rum and cokes all afternoon with my old college roommate," dad then said proudly of himself.

Dad's old college roommate is a bad influence on my father. He always has been.

"You didn't get enough," my father then insisted adamantly as we looked at the total tally.

I had only spent $50 dollars. I was quite bumfuzzled by this whole endeavor.

"John, he's got enough dammit," Charlie said. "Let's go get you in the bed.

I think I got enough groceries in that quite a few items were free due to the chaotic nature of those self checkout kiosks. Certain things we had absentmindedly not "rung up" as we say in the South

No Sidekick Tonight...

I was so very glad to see my dear Charles Meister tonight, but my father had other obligations. That didn't stop Maggie going apeshit bananas at Charlie's arrival, though.

I was deeply disappointed as I missed him very much. My father arriving is a moment of bliss for Maggie and I. Charlie and dad are always so covert and secretive when things happen like my father being gone tonight.

"Your father will be back to give you your medications tomorrow," Charlie told me as he handed me my plethora and handful of crazy meds.

I noticed Charlie had brought me two very large Cokes from McDonald's. Ah, Bless! He also brought my allotment of 6 diet Cokes for the day as well. Double Dog Bless!

I woke up about 7 PM and immediately got to work cleaning my bathroom. All of this commotion sent Maggie out the dog door and she sat on my back deck for the longest time. Maggie is terribly skittish when it comes to brooms or any disturbance in her environment. I didn't want Charlie to do all that and the bathroom needed some serious cleaning and polishing. It looked like a public toilet ( a bit of hyperbole).

"Your house looks so good," Charlie applauded me. "I don't have anything to do!"

"You've done all the work," I told Charlie. "Sometimes, I just need a helping hand and an incentive to get me started cleaning. I don't want to undo all the cleaning you've done along the way these past few weeks."

Charlie also brought me Big Mac value meal and I have about 40 more minutes to go until time to eat.

Where Go'est Thou the Sausage Biscuit Fairy Man?

I was beginning to have lost all hope in Charlie's arrival this morning. Maggie lost her zest of looking out the window and curled up on the couch in defeat to sleep.

9:00 PM came and went and he still hadn't visited us. I was ready to go to bed -- my eyelids feeling as if they were made of heavy lead. The Magster's ever watchful eye would have to alert me to Charlie's visit -- natures alarm system.

Soon as my head hit my pillow, I was fast and deeply asleep. I was abruptly woken in what seemed like hours later by the Duchess and the festivities going on in the den. Only an hour had passed and my eyes were burning from lack of sleep.

"We are going to clean your bathroom tonight," Charlie told me enthusiastically. "I won't take but 10 minutes.

"Oh joy!" I said very sarcastically.

Really though, if Charlie keeps this up I am going to a clean and spot free house in a few weeks -- little by little during our Sunday night feeding ritual. Dad gets all antsy about Charlie's cleaning until you turn on the television and he is placated -- another zombie watching the boob tube.

"What do want to eat tonight?" Charlie asked me before he left to finish all his other deliveries.

"Get me a Grand Big Mac combo meal with an extra large coke,"

Charlie said it was a done deal and he would see me again tonight. We told each other we loved each other and Charlie was on his way.

Ribeyes -- That's What's For Supper...

I am looking at the clock displayed by my computer. It is 11:25 PM. Charlie and my father have just left. A courtesy call would be nice, though, but the days of getting angry have long gone. I was just worried about them, but I dare not call my father's cellphone and bringing forth his ire. He would snap at me and say I was hurrying them along.

"Andrew we're running late. We'll get there as soon as we can." See? That was simple enough, wasn't it?

My father grilled ribeyes for supper and I am anxiously waiting to dig in. I have to wait until after an hour of taking my medications to eat. If I eat something so soon, it will take several excruciating hours for my medications to take effect and delaying bedtime. They will not have that buzzy brain kick as they normally do when I wait only an hour on an empty stomach. Oh, my sweet euphoria.

Normally, I would be irate and would be pouting with such an extremely late arrival. I just evoked my coveted Auschwitz Mantra. I am lucky for a family who cares and who brings nourishing food and lonesome curing company. Charlie, Papa, and I are a pretty cohesive bunch of folks these days.

Dad and I walked into the kitchen to get Maggie's ritual completed. My medication ritual was over and it was Maggie's turn.

"I've already fed and watered Maggie," Charlie told us both beating us to the punch.

That Voice -- that Voice of a Thousand Memories...

I couldn't get my father on his cell phone so I called dad's landline at his house this morning. It rang and rang until it dumped me into my parent's voicemail. Mom's voice on the message service said she couldn't come to the phone at that time and to please leave a message.

The sound of my mother's voice sent me reeling and made me very melancholy. A tear erupted from my eye. I miss my mother very much. We were two peas in a pod. Dad says I got the worst of the both of them with regards to my faulty genes. I told him it just makes me eccentric to use a kinder word. "That Andrew certainly is an interesting fellow!"

"I've been meaning to change that," my rather technophobe father said at lunch today. "I am probably going to recruit you into doing that. The security code is taped on the side of the fridge."

It is the only recording of my mother's voice so I told my father to get a recording of that message if he could.

"Tell them to burn it to a compact disc or email it to you!" I told my father.

"I always said that your mother would outlive me for decades," he said. "But I was wrong."

In the Land of Milk and Honey...

Dad dropped by the afternoon with a catfish plate from Roger's barbecue. I love surprises like that.

"I thought you may be running low on groceries," my father said.

"You are correct in that assessment, Sir!" I replied.

Those fried catfish plates are pretty expensive as well. In a few moments, my whole house smelled of fried catfish. It was driving Maggie nuts. It was a 3 piece filet plate so I gave Maggie one filet. What did she do? She took such a morsel outside and buried it in the backyard. I had a face-palm moment for a minute there.

"I am heading home," my father said. "Enjoy your plate and I hope mine is not yet cold."

Anybody Need A Home? Down Payments Welcome

"Come on!" Charlie said impatiently with an excited tone to his voice. "I've got something I want to show you."

Charlie scurried over to his Caprica with me hot on his heels.

Charlie's and my father's driving gets me carsick so I was very hesitant to go and I braced myself for the worse. I had just drank a large glass of milk and eaten a couple of ham and cheese Hot Pockets before Charlie arrived.  I hoped I wouldn't "blow chunks" like Charlie alluded to about Horsefly.

"I am a landlord now," Charlie smugly said as he showed me a row of six nice apartments he had bought a few days ago.

The apartments looked rather nice to me. They all had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. They also had a very spacious and modern kitchen.

"I am going to tear out the fireplaces and refinish all the hardwood floors."

"Please don't tear out the fireplaces," I told Charlie pleadingly. "The fireplaces will make a big difference if someone is deciding on whether or not to rent."

Charlie mulled over what I said for a few moments and he told me the idea maybe a good one.

A Conniption Fit Thwarted...

"Did you hear that line of thunderstorms this morning? It was a humdinger," my father asked me a moment ago. "It sounded like a war zone outside."

"I slept all the way through it," I replied aggravatedly.

I hate to miss a good storm and I cursed under my breath that I didn't get to experience it. Especially because of the way my father described it. There are only a few things that wake me up and one is someone knocking on the door and two is Maggie's having another barking conniption fit in the backyard at three in the morning.

There is a Time for Everything and Tonight was Certainly One of Those Times for Maggie...

It was absolutely amazing that my father remembered to bring Maggie's heartworm and flea medications tonight. Thoughts of The Secretary came flooding back in a wave of nostalgia.

"Is she going to eat it?" my father asked with much trepidation.

Maggie wouldn't eat it so I just thrust that beef flavored pill down her throat like my mother would always do to all our pets.

"She looks like she is in shock you did that so fast," my father said heartily laughing.

Maggie certainly did look shellshocked. Maggie also got a can of Vienna sausages for the most of her cooperation in the matter.

Taking the High Road...

I just got a welcomed email from Matt, the pharmacy computer guru, to email him what exact keyboards I want to get. I got so excited. Maybe this is not going to be as arduous as I expected it to be. The price of $34.99 and free shipping was just too enticing for my father to pass up. Can you get excited about a lowly two keyboards? I sure can. Bring it on!

Every now and then, NewEgg will throw a freebie in with your order. The last time Matt ordered some parts for me, I got a free SD card reader. Let's hope they send me something really neat with this order as well.

Some Thunder and Rain Moving in this Morning...

Walmart After Hours...

I have a broken keyboard on my PC gaming computer. It went out right in the middle of some fierce Skyrim battle action earlier tonight. Grrr... I saved my game with my mouse and was very perturbed. I have a tendency to wear out keyboards and mice pretty quickly. Oh hell, I don't know what I am talking about. Most of my mice and keyboards are over five years old.

It was 2:00 AM and there was just a very sparse skeleton crew working at Walmart tonight. I only saw four employees and two of those were at checkout lanes. I saw two other delightfully pleasant looking ladies stocking items in the personal hygiene aisle and in pharmaceuticals.

They had some Microsoft ergonomic keyboards for $39.98 (NewEgg has them in stock for $34.99 with free shipping). I almost bought one but I spent so much on groceries the other night that I decided to ask my father first. I was just glad they had some and we don't have to order them from NewEgg and the rigamarole that entails. Let's save Matt at the pharmacy some trouble.

I want to get two keyboards as the keyboard to my blogging and browsing computer is getting older and I've worn all the letters off. Dad will call me Martha when I tell him that I can assure you. All right now Martha...

Chicken Scratchin' For My Medications...

Oh, joy! Medication time! The head honcho has just left the premises. Papa was in a very talkative and excitable mood tonight. He said they had every screwball imaginable come in the pharmacy today. Pill counters, crazy Lortab partakers, methadone minions, etc.

Dad likes old Christian hymns despite being an atheist. He loves to play them on the baby grand in the front room of his house. I found a choir/vocal version of May the Circle Be Unbroken and we both loved it. I played it to him on my home theater in the den with my iPod.

"Can you burn me a copy?" he asked thinking he had asked for a long shot.

"Give me just a minute," I told him and I stepped into the computer room and burned it in Redbook audio so it would play in his car.

Dad was also watching A and E's Intervention when he left his house to come over here.

"Talking to them is not going to work. Treatment centers are not going to work," he told me. "You have to take draconian measures to stop the addiction. You start by getting power of attorney and taking away the money!"

"I like social visits, but aren't you forgetting something?" I asked him as he got up to leave after his little speech.

"Oh shit!" my father exclaimed. "I didn't give you your medications!"

Dad and I both walked out to his Honda so I could make sure the compact disc would play on his stereo. Soon, we were hearing sweet tunes. I am very pleased he liked that.

A Quote By Andrew...

"It sure takes you a long time to do your hair and put on your makeup."

                                              Andrew to his then wife trying to get to his favorite seafood restaurant.
                                                                                                                 

Possibly Immaturity...

Someone today on the web asked me why I changed my blog name to Dragon Master Andrew. Well, I was in my early twenties working third shift at the Circle K down the street. Dawn would encroach as all the police were beginning to fill up their cars. I would quickly mop the floors and wait for the first shift to arrive so I could hand over the reigns.  I would reconcile my register and ride my bike home to play Lunar: The Silver Star on my coveted Sega CD. The protagonist of that game was Dragon Master Alex. I have some of the best memories playing that game until time to hit the bed again to be ready for work that night. Oh, and there was some beer involved as well. *blushes*

I Smell A Rat...

I posted that Lincoln quote yesterday, but something seems a little fishy to me about it. Firstly, it just doesn't sound like the vernacular of the Civil War era. Secondly, after Lincoln's son Thaddeus died as a child, Mary Todd Lincoln went bat shat crazy in grief. She would hold seances trying to speak to her deceased son. That just makes me think Lincoln wouldn't say something like that.

We Are in Love by Harry Connick Jr.

Where's the Beef? The Beef is on the Stove...

After a couple of phone calls to my father at the pharmacy, I now have beef chuck patties simmering in gravy and onions on the stove or what is often called hamburger steak.

"Let them simmer for a couple of hours," my father told me over his phone. "And add water or milk if it cooks down. You don't want to scorch the gravy or the patties."

I chose milk for added richness, but I don't know if I can wait 2 hours. We might just let them cook for one hour as I am hungry. The beef patties will be eaten with steak sauce and some very, very fresh Sunbeam loaf bread. Sorry to all you vegetable lovers, but this is carnivore city tonight.

What's This Antec You May Ask?

I got Matt at the pharmacy to order me this expensive $165 Antec "unbeatable" computer case a couple of months ago. I just had to have it and basically begged my father for it. I never used as it is completely convoluted to get components in and out of the thing. To its merit, the thing does light up blue like a Christmas tree and I am into the colorized component and case trend in computers as well.

I am about to attempt to install the ghetto computer into that spare Antec computer case. Anytime you do things like this to computers there is a margin for error. So wish me luck in a couple of hours and let's hope these big fingers can get all those little screws into their little holes.

You Go Somewhere Else Insomnia...

I've cycled to staying up all night again. I went to bed at 5:00 AM this morning and woke at 5:00 PM this afternoon. That's sleeping a full twelve hours and I needed the rest. My eyes were burning yesterday from lack of sleep.

I could've slept longer, but I was awoken by a little Wren that keeps letting itself into the house through the dog door. She will fly around a little bit and then get a morsel of Maggie's dog food and a draught of water and head back out. Maggie completely ignores her for some reason.

Cadbury Creme Eggs 0.29 Cents!

You can bet I stocked up on some candy creme eggs. I probably grabbed a dozen as Zach grabbed a Kroger bag to put them in as he rung them up.

"You must really like those eggs..." Zach asked facetiously as he was ringing me up.

"I do have a certain fine fondness for them," I replied to Zach in stilted English language feeling frisky.

Other than the eggs, I stayed true to my plan B tonight. No impulse buys this evening. I got lots of things to make tasty sandwiches. My sweet items were some Little Debbie honey buns and my two pies. Tonight's pies were an Edwards Key lime pie and an Edwards Hershey's creme pie. (Yay! They finally had my Edwards pies back in stock!)

My big ticket items were Blue Plate mayonnaise (why does this stuff have to be so expensive?). I also got a large pack of ground chuck for $8.99 and the accompanying Kroger steak sauce.

"We're going to buy your meat at Givorn's next time," my father told me. "I don't know why Kroger has such expensive beef."

"Givorn's has an actual butcher and does not outsource," I replied to my father.

"You're going to be eating a lot of pepperoni," my father then said facetiously about my two big 12ct. boxes of Hot Pockets.

Instead of 4 gallons of milk tonight, I got a 12 pack of Kroger ginger ale, and a 12 pack of Minute Maid lemonade.

The total tally tonight was a little more expensive than I wanted it to be, but I was in uncharted territory. My father didn't say a word as he swiped the debit card.

About As Right As Rain...

Grocery Day Musings - Possible Big Shakeup!

Look at all the colorful products vying for your attention!

I am mulling over getting two big multi-packs of pepperoni pizza Hot Pockets instead of the Marie Callendar's meals tonight. I am also tired of Frosted Flakes and milk after eating them for months and months (years?). We might have a big shakeup on hand during grocery night tonight. I don't want any bananas as well. I do want a 12 pack of Canada Dry ginger ale and Minute Maid lemonade. I also need TUMs for when I drink the lemonade.

A treat I might try is to get some ground chuck and Kroger steak sauce and eat it with loaf bread. Also, the idea of buying some unfrosted strawberry Pop-tarts is growing in my mind. My two pies are mandatory, though.

"Make you some beef patties and gravy and let them simmer for several hours," my father just told me over the phone after I mentioned ground chuck. "They will get good and tender. Almost like eating steak!"

"Are you getting A-1 sauce?" dad then asked me. "You know it is quite pricey."

"I am getting Kroger's steak sauce," I told my father.

It tastes almost exactly like A-1 at half of the price.

Aw, Man! Those Confederates!

Lincoln At Gettysburg

I was in the land of very deep REM sleep when someone knocked on the door very, very early this morning. Maggie flew off the bed in a hurry to see who it was. She was growling as she ran. It caught the both of us off guard.

"Who is it?" I asked loudly as I walked into the den.

Maggie was now wagging her tail standing behind the front door.

"Happy Confederate Holiday!" a loud voice said on the other side of the door. It was Charlie and he had the day off. He had brought Maggie and me a sack of sausage biscuits. The Duchess just squealed with joy at the sound of Charlie's voice!

"Do you know why we went to war?" Charlie asked as he handed me the sack.

Charlie's great with antiques and not so much with history.

"States rights," I replied. "Lincoln later tacked on emancipation to bolster the war effort."

"I was going to say slavery," Charlie told me.

"Do you know where the war started?" I asked Charlie. "The first shots were fired at Fort Sumter South Carolina."

I used to love to sit in the bowels of Montevallo's huge library and read books about the Civil War.

I liked to have never gone back to sleep this morning.  I had stayed up to around 4:00 AM. I woke up at 4:00 PM after drifting back off again sometime around 10:00 AM. My eyes were burning I was so tired early this morning.

By the way, I just evoked the Auschwitz Mantra about all the sausage biscuits the Duchess and I have been getting lately. I would be quite happy to have it if I were eating gruel with boiled maggots in it.

Hazel? Is That You?

Disclaimer: My house stays pretty clean most days. I had already taken all the trash out before Charlie arrived and he still found more to bag up. You have to watch Charlie or he will throw something out that isn't trash thinking it was trash. Charlie just feels this extreme compulsion to make my living environs cleaner. Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly as the old saying goes. Charlie was born to clean. He can clean in 10 minutes what would take me an hour.

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To set the stage, Dad was Mr. B and Charlie was Hazel.

"What do you want to eat?" my father asked and he then went on a tangent and said Charlie was flying down HWY 29 like a madman. He told me he was grabbing the "Oh! Shit!" handle.

"Just get me the number one at Taco Hell," I told my father which consists of a taco supreme and a burrito supreme.

Just enough to fill me up.

I was laying on the computer room bed with Maggie then I heard a car door shut. Maggie bolted off the bed and headed for the front door. Ah, yes, it was the dynamic duo and Maggie was beside herself.

Charlie got to cleaning after our usual pleasantries. He cleaned behind my entertainment center and then washed out my freezer and got it sparkling bright white. Next, came trash disposal and the gathering of the detritus that seems to come and live with me. He also mopped my hall by the bathroom.

Dad was getting very impatient and rolled his eyes at me. He was ready to head home and eat his now cold supper.

"That's it!" Dad said standing up in absolution. "We're headed home. You have cleaned enough. We thank you but I want to go home and eat."

Charlie looked like a kid being torn from a candy store.

"I've got to take out Andrew's trash and then we will go," Charlie told my father with a sneer.

As dad turned to walk back into the den, Charlie stuck his tongue out at my father. I had to choke back a hearty laugh.

Home and Glory Country Rides...

I took mom's car for a long ride in the country out on Spring Road this afternoon. I looked at the odometer and it showed 28,800 miles. A Honda isn't broken in till it reaches 100,000 miles. I am very blessed and extremely lucky that I have a wealthy parent who can allow me such things. I could never afford a car or driving for that matter if it wasn't for the help of my father. I can report that mom's car was ticking like a well-oiled clock.

"We're going to get four new tires put on and get the bumper fixed," my father told me when I arrived back home. "Your mother hit the garage wall just before she passed away."

Dad also said he wanted to get it washed and waxed before he handed me the keys.

Bless mom's dear heart. She certainly was hell on wheels and rough on a car. At one time, both mirrors were knocked off with my mother trying to get into the garage.

Such Pleasant Pleasantries...

It began to rain heavily this morning. It was supposed to get stormy but that is why I call meteorologists the weather guessers. I ran across the yard to get Maggie's and my biscuits so Charlie wouldn't have to get wet. It was the least I could do since Charlie was bringing us breakfast.

"I love you, Andrew," Charlie said affectionately and sincerely as he handed me my sack of sausage biscuits.

"I love you, too," I replied to Charlie. "You are very special to me."

Charlie is the epitome of altruism and kindness.