Comment Reply...

 glittermom said...

If you had a whole carton of cokes would you drink more then 6? Even 6 is a lot of Coke to drink in a short time...

Glittermom, I have to take caffeine in consideration when I am drinking caffeine-laden cokes. I will drink 2 or 3 over several hours. It will make me sick if I drink too much.

Andrew

Let it Rain! Let it Rain!

"Can I come and get my cokes?" I asked big Papa a moment ago.

He was at the grocery store and told me would call me when he got home. It is the dawning of pork chops and rice which we will be having for supper tonight.

Last night, I walked right out the door and forgot them. That means I get 12 today! Woo Hoo! Good things come to those that wait.

"Come back and get them," my father said on the phone very insistently once I had arrived home.

Lazily, I told him I would get them tomorrow. I didn't want to drove all the way back to my father's house just for 6 diet Cokes. I sure missed them later last night, though. He was right. They are a treat to be relished while I am goofing off on my computers and listening to music.

Weather Geeks Unite!

Storms are already starting to bubble up around us in the summer heat. I get so excited about the weather and days like this. I expect to hear thunder pretty soon around these parts.

"Step outside and you can check on the weather," Charlie will chuckle and tell my father and me.

We could have hurricane Cassandra blowing through and Charlie would still be taking Horsefly to the bowling alley.

Glittermom...

It felt very empowering to take my medications on my own volition. The only bad thing last night was I took them on a very full stomach and that negates the big kick I get from them about an hour after taking them.

Kitchen Computer is Ready for Service...

I installed Windows 10 on my kitchen computer as it shall be known. Things are working fine and it is a great browsing the web type of computer. I've got it connected wirelessly to the Internet and the connection is super fast. It's got a lowly Core i5 3.6 GHz processor, but it seems pretty fast to me.

Cooler Heads Thankfully Prevail...

"Come over and we'll take your medications and I have us a little supper together," my father told me over the phone.

"I need to take my medications at nine," I rebuked my father steadfastly about the medications.

"I will put them in a Ziploc bag and you can carry them home with you. I trust you to take them."

"Thank you."

"How much wine would it take for you to get a DUI?" my father asked me curiously as I sat in the kitchen watching him getting supper ready.

"I think the limit is 0.18 which is about two glasses of wine or two beers," I told him. "Look it up on the web."

"I didn't realize it was so low," he said.

Dad had cooked some hamburger steaks, mushroom gravy, steak fries, and some french style green beans. It was very delicious and I had seconds as well. The green beans were extraordinary. I told my father we need to have those beans much more often. He said his cousin Jean got him on to those.

Papa Put the Cheese in Cheesy...

I've just returned from my father's house. He made pimento cheese with a new recipe that called for cream cheese. It doesn't get hard in the fridge with the cream cheese added and mixed with the cheddar or so my father said.

"Do you want yours toasted?" Dad asked as I sat at the kitchen table.

"Yes, please!" I exclaimed happily.

The din of the television was ever omnipresent and you could hear it droning on in the den.

I told him of my computer revelations this morning -- of realizing I can make just one more computer out of the parts I had at the house.

Into my father's little toaster oven went two sandwiches with a twist of the timer. The dill pickle spear was the icing on the cake for me. Charlie's wife pickled them a few weeks ago. We also had some frou-frou potato chips that were very salty and chapped my already dry lips.

"I'll see you at nine for your medications," my father told me as I was heading home to do some more computering.

I noticed dad was drinking wine from a little sippy cup. He feels he will drink less out of a little cup like that.

"Don't drink and drive," I told my father rather assertively pointing to his little cup. "I will come and pick them up if you've had too much to drive."

He said he would call me and let me know.

My Kitchen Table at the Moment...

Bedlam!

I've actually got the motherboard and processor in the forefront working fine although the processor is running a little hot (a better heat sink and fan is in order although I did just get it down from 70° degrees celsius to 40 ° degrees). All I have to do is install Windows and then stuff this puppy into a spare computer case. 

I need a DVD-RW drive to install Windows 10 which I will borrow from one of my other computers and then I will put it back. They are only $19.99 so I need to just order one from the Egg. I will also use a spare 250 GB solid state drive I have on hand as my boot drive. 

Good Moods Abound All Around...

"Who's out there in the dark?" I asked very loudly as Maggie barked up a storm and whined and whimpered impatiently at the front door.

Maggie was outside on the back deck and alerted me to my father's arrival. I was sitting in my recliner with my laptop looking up weather radars as she ran through the house barking. I smiled very broadly. I love Maggie's exuberance regarding my father's visits. It is truly unconditional love.

"It's your Papa and we've got the Mags and you some supper," my father said as he walked across my yard.

Dad's pet name for Maggie is Mags and let's not forget she is the Duchess as well -- Princess of Mauritania and Maratouse.

"It's just Chik Delight," my father told me stepping through the door of my house. "But I thought you and the Mags would like some fried chicken fingers."

"Did you get some extra rooster sauce?" I asked hopefully.

"Just like you like it," my father said grinning. "Now, they are making you pay .25 ¢ cents for an extra cup of rooster sauce."

"I've had a really good day," I told my father before asking about his.

"Pretty good," dad said. "It gets harder to stand up 10 hours filling prescriptions as I get older."

A Nod to You and Me...

Sitting at my computer this morning, I got an acute case of the nods. I couldn't stay awake any longer.

"I'll just lay down for about an hour," I told myself with good intentions.

Mind you, I slept very well last night. My injection makes me so very drowsy and I had already experienced my fleeting moment of injection induced euphoria so I was pretty happy.

I awoke at 5:00 PM to Maggie's furry butt in my face. We were doing some serious sleeping and Maggie very vocally let me know she didn't want us to get up. She was really talking to me.

There are two sides to every coin. I could lament the fact that I slept through my day, or I could rejoice in the fact that my father will be here in a just a few short hours after work.

Morning Dawned and My Bottom Was Bared...

I was laying in the bed this morning about 7 AM. I slept very well and was fixing to get dressed, shake the dew off my lily, and go into the kitchen to get Maggie and I some scrambled cheese eggs and buttery toast in the works. I am finding myself craving breakfast foods again.

"Oh shit! This morning is my injection at 9 AM!" I thought to myself in a panic as I raised up out of the bed.

It hit me like a ton of bricks or the broadside of a speeding train. I like surprises sometimes, but just not that kind of a surprise because it gets me in a stir. I had to get up and get going fast! FAST!

I called my father who was getting ready for work and he nonchalantly said it wasn't today, but he would check on it after he shaved. He called me back ten minutes later.

"Yep!" he said. "Your injection is this morning. You were right after all. Thank you so much, son."

Well, I do have a pretty good bit of my mother in me (he says boastfully). My father says I got the worst of them both. I just need to get a calendar like my mother's to be fully prepared.

"What are your girls up to?" I asked a cherished friend of mine, my nurse Rebecca.

I was now at Kamath Medical.

"My littlest one didn't want to go to cheerleader camp this year and it worried me," Rebecca told me. "I thought maybe she had a bad experience last year at cheerleading camp and didn't want to go back."

Today's injection only took 10 minutes and I arrived home at 9:30 AM after a 9 AM appointment

Our Temperature Differential...

I set the thermostat this afternoon to 78° degrees and I liked to have frozen to a cold death. I went so far as to put on a light jacket as I sat in the den with my laptop and that thing is a space heater. The air conditioning vent is just behind my recliner in that room.

Maggie will start panting when the temperature hits about 80° degrees and 80° is where I unfortunately like it. Human trumped dog for the rest of the afternoon. I kept putting a big cup of ice cubes in Maggie's water bowl.

I sleep with the temperature turned way down to 75° degrees which is comfortable to me and I am sure Maggie sighs with relief. We all bundle up in the bed like the bunch of bedbug miscreants we are.

The Man From Manicotti...

I tried a new frozen meal Monday and it is delicious. Its nomenclature is Michael Angelo's. They say on the package "small batch made from scratch". They got the small part right. I have to eat two of the meals just to get full. Try the ricotta stuffed manicotti. It is a very tasty meal -- almost like something you'd get at an Italian restaurant.

Something was lacking from my meal tonight, though, and I was trying to put a finger on it. I realized I should have bought some buttery garlic bread to toast and to accompany these meals.

The Calvary Finally Arrived Early Last Night...

Let's be glad this wasn't Custer's rendition of a last stand!

Dad came pulling up to my curb at eight 'o' clock sharp last night. He took a short detour to his house to get my sodas and my MedPAC. I am sure he turned on the television as well for a few moments -- like a moth to a candle flame. 

Lately, he has been showing up at 9:00 PM to 9:30 PM so he was true to his words in saying he would get here early last night. What a damn good sight for these sorry and sore eyes. Maggie put on yet another grand show for his grace. I was trying to gather my wits and faculties for my father's arrival when Maggie squealed with joy signaling zero hour had begun. 

"I heard you needed some crazy meds as you call them," he told me as I let out a strained and weak laugh.

I was teetering on the edge of my mental precipice.

"From now on, no more funny business," he told me. "We take your medications at 9 to 9:30 PM every night. Okay? If I can't be here, then Charlie will administer them."

I agreed wholeheartedly.

"Did you realize you told Craig (the new owner of dad's drug store) you loved him and you loved everybody at the pharmacy yesterday afternoon?" dad then told me with a smile.

I laughed another weak laugh as well.

"It was sheer misjudgment on my part for driving through all that crazy traffic on highway 29 just to get a lemon/lime sports drink," I replied to my father. "I wasn't thinking clearly."

I feel ten times better this morning. I can focus and I have some of my mental acuity back. I am listening to music this morning and it is not getting on my nerves so that is a very good sign.

Indulge Yourself Dear Andrew....

Off came this morning's slouchy "knock about the house" clothes as I put on some nice clean khaki shorts and a nice gray short sleeved shirt. I had washed my tennis shoes in the washer the other day and they were blinding bright white and clean -- looking like they had been bleached.

"Ah, the titillating scent of Gain!" I said musingly as I pulled on a white t-shirt and then my gray over-shirt.

We were going for a short jaunt to do some retail therapy this afternoon... Johnny Otis approved retail therapy I might add. I had decided I wanted to make some fresh and homemade tuna fish salad and I headed to the Piggly Wiggly just a few miles away.

Everybody looked and waved manning a few registers when I walked through the automatic door.

"Hey y'all!" I waved back timidly.

I scrounged up some Blue Plate mayonnaise, Starkist tuna in olive oil (you've got to try this sometimes), sweet pickle relish, and some fresh Sunbeam bread. From produce, I grabbed some onion and some celery. I already had a carton of eggs at home. Dad had called me back and asked what would bring me joy and this was it. He was really worried about me.

"I almost called you to come to the pharmacy to take your medications," he said on the second call.

"I'll be there as soon as I can tonight!" He told me one more time before getting off the phone. "You hang in there!"

Like glittermom said it was my fault. I really got myself in a pickle today and it helped very much to get out of the house and do some shopping. It took my mind off my withdrawal. I am on over 30 hours since I last took my crazy meds.

Pharmacist's Advice...

You put your head in
You put your head out
Put your head in
And bang it all about
Do the hokey pokey
And turn yourself around
That's what it's all about

I just called my father and he is at work. He sounded cordial and glad to speak to me which made me sigh in relief. Sometimes, he doesn't want you to bother him at the pharmacy citing the new owner's lack of approval.

"Dad?" I asked. "Will Klonopin cause some withdrawal if you haven't taken it in a few days?"

"You took your medications yesterday morning," my father told me. "But yes, it could be causing some withdrawal by now."

It was my fault we took them so early yesterday. I drove over and just had to have them.

"I will be glad when you get here tonight as I feel awfully uncomfortable mentally," I told him.

"I will be there as soon as I get off of work," he told me.

That made me feel better. That means he will be here around 8 PM. My life seems to be delineated in increments of time, getting things, and waiting for others.

Double Dog Tired...

"I am going to be there between 9:30 PM and 10:00 PM tonight as I am running late," my father told me over the phone this late afternoon.

"Okay," I replied apprehensively.

Well, 9:30 turned to 10:30 then it turned to 11:30 before my father finally showed up. I was already going to bed, but he insisted that I don some more clothes so we could get my groceries.

"You've got to be starving," he told me.

And I was...

Oh, what I do for the man.

I absolutely abhor those self-checkout lanes if your have more than just a few groceries. At 10 PM they close the regular lanes. We managed to get all my groceries through one of those lines.

We then got some large Wendy's frosties and a burger for me.  I ate mine on the drive back to Kroger. We left my car and returned so I could drive home. Dad had to make a deposit at the bank just down the road from Wendy's.

What's that loud booming sound from a car I now hear? Mating call. There must be a teen aged daughter who lives on the street.

I did see our Jermaine tonight. He was overseeing a price check on sugar-free Koolaid which made me chuckle. Whoever runs the ethos has a sense of humor.

I got some different things tonight. I got vanilla ice cream instead of the pies. We'll  see how that goes. I also got some Michael Angelo frozen Italian meals which are $4.99 belying the $2.99 of Marie's meals. I did not keep up with the cost tonight.

Don't Be Daunted By the Lack Of Pie...

And then we shall try pizza pie tonight! My favorite Edwards pie is the lemon meringue pie and they haven't had it in stock for weeks. All these creme pies are more fluffed up with air than anything. Yes, I am going to use that $12 dollars in money to buy me some Dijorno's. I tried one a few weeks ago and they are better than the many frozen pizzas I've eaten in my time.

I say I keep getting tired of bananas, but when I don't buy them I miss them something terrible. The are my snack for when I don't want to go to a lot of trouble.

I was so scatterbrained last week that I forgot to write about Jermaine. He was going strong and wanted me to help he find the ripest cantaloupe. I sniffed a few and said this is the one you want to get. He ambled off and we went our separate ways not before he could shake my hand..

It Was Definitely The Charlie Thing to Do...

I headed to Fred's Super Dollar after lunch and got a quart of motor oil for my lawn mower. It has sat in the basement for several summers and needed some TLC.

Fred's was in a state of bedlam as their delivery truck was there which left one person to manage the front of the store including the cash register. I noticed Fred's uses a conveyor belt system similar to Dollar General's to unload their wares.

I then got a gallon of fresh gas at Circle K. I would never get my lawn mower to crank with that old gas that was in it. I was going to try and display the better angels of my nature.

My other neighbor besides George is just dirt poor. I think she rents her house and she busts her ass to make ends meet and she has to work all the time. She can't cut her grass due to her age and she can't afford to have somebody to come cut it as well. I thought I would surprise her today and cut her grass this afternoon. Her yard is not much bigger than a postage stamp and it was really grown up with knee high weeds.

Well? I learned one thing today from all of this. I am so out of shape it is pitiful and to think I cut my grass and Joyce's (my deceased neighbor) as well many years ago. When I started to have my severe anxiety attacks, Charlie took over cutting my grass then. Now we get Lopez Landscaping to manicure Charlie's several yards, my father's several yards and my yard.

I Hope I Didn't Get Horsefly's Meal or What Is Normally Called a SNAFU Around Here...

"Charlie?" I said over his cell phone last night after they left my house. "Somehow, I got chicken strips."

"Oh shit!"

I normally just get a box of 3 pieces of original KFC recipe chicken. I said chicken sandwich last night and my father and Charlie both looked at each other confused.

"It is called a Zinger chicken sandwich and is supposed to be real spicey," I told the both of them.

"Did Horsefly get chicken strips too?" I then asked back to the pressing matter at hand.

You could hear Charlie scrambling to look as he drove.

"We're fine here," Charlie said. "Thank god!"

It would have meant that Charlie would have to head back to KFC for more.

"Are you okay with chicken strips?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, I am fine. Don't you worry about me," I told him.

They were actually quite good last night -- a nice change of pace. The original recipe chicken can be so greasy.

One nice thing about last night's meal was that it was hot and fresh. I had taken my medications that morning and could eat on a whim. Normally, I would have to wait an hour before I could eat and the food would have been tepid and cold.

Selfie #123

This is my favorite shirt. It is so comfortable. I had just gotten out of the shower. I am waiting on Papa and Charlie to arrive for our usual Sunday night fried chicken extravaganza. 

Call Waiting...

"Would you mind if I got my medications early again?" I just asked my father over the phone.

I hated to have to ask him that. There was a slight pause as my father thought about the proposition.

We had just talked a long time about Charlie and Maggie and dad was enjoying the conversation.

"Where does Charlie get these shirts?" I asked my father as he chuckled. "They are covered in dried paint."

"He loves those shirts, his working shirts, and don't dare say something about them," my father told me laughing.

"I will call you in a little bit to come get your medications, okay?" my father said.

I told him, "I love you and thank you very much."

There's A Charlie On My Mind and a Little Maggins, Too!

Maggie, our first responder, let me know Charlie was here. She rushed to the door barking her fool little head off. She put on quite the show -- a show of grand proportions.

I was sitting in my recliner dicking around with my new most prized possession, the laptop Charlie gave to me. It was good to look out the window and see Charlie's car sitting out front. Maggie was just absolutely ecstatic. Now that mom has passed away, Charlie is my chief advocate general.

"Come on in and see Maggie for a moment," I told Charlie as he walked across the yard.

"Andrew! It is good to see you!" Charlie said with a handful of sausage biscuits and a giant Coke.

"Maggie hasn't seen much of y'all lately because I am getting my medications early at Papa's house," I told Charlie.

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked.

"My brain is malfunctioning," I said with a weak chuckle.

"You take care of yourself, Andrew!" Charlie told me sternly and worriedly.

I also told him he was early today. He usually arrives around 10:00 to 10:30 AM.

Maggie was beside herself to see our Charlie. She yelped and wiggled wildly as Charlie came through the front door. I made the mistake of mentioning Charlie about an hour ago and it put the Magster in a frenzy for the longest time. Just like you don't dare say Walmart around Horsefly.

Yes, I Do Believe I Am the Needy One of the Family...

Struggle, Toil, and Strife...Sigh!

I've had a string of bad days mental illness wise. I try to hide it, but dad said he could tell I was struggling yesterday just by the way I was dressed -- sloppily and unkempt.

"You don't even have your ever omnipresent ball cap on!"

I hesitate to talk about it as negativity fosters more negativity. I've been saying that for years and it is the truth. "Quit whining and suck it up!"  If I opened up anonymous comments then you would see what I mean.

"I know you hate to see me calling," I just told my father when he answered the phone. "But can we take my medications early today?"

"Can you wait two hours?" my father asked. "No, you come to me if you can drive and you won't have to wait."

"I don't get aggravated with you," my father then said. "I just don't want us to get off our routines. You're getting your medication earlier and earlier each day and I am not getting to see Maggie every night."

"I wish I could call you like my brother and sister and tell you how many lives I saved today," I then told him.

"You do pretty well these days," my father told me. "You've come miles and miles from what you started at."

My father had some regular "leaded" Coca-Cola in the fridge when I arrived at his house.

"I thought you might like that," my father said.

Dad was watching the food channel and we both got entranced on what the lady was cooking.

Operation: Quest, Quench, Thirst...

"Jesus, I am thirsty," I said blaspheming aloud as I drove by the police station headed to my parent's house.

A Policeman got behind me but suddenly turned off a side street as I was not his quarry today. I buckled up just in case which I should have done before I left home.

Dad was fertilizing the backyard when I pulled into the back driveway of his garish abode. I had called him earlier on a mission of mercy. I was drinking up all my milk I eat my cereal with as I had only bland water left as my only alternative. I was out of my usual diet Cokes.

"Can I get something cold, delicious and refreshing to drink?" I asked my father. "I am parched."

Dad keeps my medications in his car so there was much rummaging around the back of his Honda before he found them. I think I heard a few profane words as well.

"Come on and we will take your medications as well," he said as I followed him up the back steps to the deck. .

It was music to my ears on this late Friday afternoon. One word: Clarity.

We took my medications early as my father loaded me up on various drinks.

"Will you drink your mother's tutti frutti drinks?" my father asked. "I can't drink them. They give me heartburn something terrible."

So, I got a two six packs of tutti frutti, a liter of diet Coke, a six pack of diet Coke in the cans, and another cold diet Coke to drink on the drive home. Extra gracious miles and beyond.

I Wish I Could Fulfill Your Every Wildest Desire...

Maggie, my dearest, is being very noticeably needy this morning. She started when I woke up and rolled out of the bed. I am surprised she didn't wake me she's so antsy about something.

(Did you notice I am sleeping nights again? We're cycling yet one more time.)

"I am refilling your food dish and checking your water," I told my dear darling little dog as I walked into the laundry room.

Nope! No joy! That was not what she wanted. She is now laying at my feet and licking her paws which is a nervous habit of hers. Sometimes, I guess, you just have to let the mystery be.

Restless about it, I then checked the dog door to make sure it was open and there was nothing obstructing ingress and egress through the portal of danger and doom.

To the Moon, Alice! To the Moon!

Last night was a beautiful, cool, and starry night. I opened up the windows of the house after my father left and put a box fan Charlie gave me in one window in the bedroom drawing that cool night air inside.  I'd do it more often if they didn't install my storm windows in the wrong way. You have to go outside to open and close them because they were installed backwards. I just have never mentioned it to Charlie as it would worry him.

Of Buggars and Beasties Lurking in the Deadly Dark...

My Dearest Maggie,
My Dearest Darlin' of Mine,

I know there are buggars and beasties out to get us. Let's not forget those dastardly cats as well. The big wide world is a huge and dangerous place. I would kindly ask you to bark in the day, though, instead of at dusk when people are coming home from work and settling in for the evening. Regain your composure as what befits the Duchess, Princess of Mauritania and Maratouse. 

Sincerely, 

Your Zeta Dog, Andrew

**********************************************

Home of the Unbridled Bark

Something certainly has Maggie's knickers in a twist tonight. It sounds as if the Mongol Horde are invading and Maggie is our last, best, and only hope at survival. She would make a good town crier. Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

"Where's my Maggie?" my father asked when he arrived tonight.

Dad was just dog dead tired from working all day. You could see it in his face and eyes. He will soon be 73 in August. I keep thinking he will retire soon.

"She's playing prime and supreme protector," I replied.

"Maggie? Papa's here!" I hollered out the back door after walking through the kitchen.

"There's my girl!" my father exclaimed as Maggie came frantically racing inside to greet him sliding around every corner.

It is not often (exceedingly rare) that Maggie doesn't catch my father's car pulling up front and misses his arrival.

It's Almost Midnight! Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

11:00 PM rolled around last night and her highness, the Duchess and I, went to bed. Maggie knew we were going to bed when I started to turn off all the lights in the house. The TV was turned off and Maggie raced to the bed. She took up her place at the foot on top of the covers. If she gets under the covers then it is like two pigs fighting under a blanket.

"Isn't Papa coming?" she seemed to ask very innocently.

It is the highlight of Maggie's day and I hated to disappoint her.

"Papa had other things to do tonight, sweetheart," I told the Magster as I nestled my head amidst my ultra comfortable pillows.

About midnight, there was a knock on the door. By this time, I was in dreamland. It was my father. I knew he had been to something highfaluting when he was in his BMW. I let him inside.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked me sheepishly wanting a hug.

Mom used to ask my father that all the time and it would aggravate him. Oh, have the tables have turned.

"I didn't mean to be so late."

"I am not really that mad, but I am very ready to go back to sleep," I replied kindly. "I've had a tough day mental illness wise this afternoon and this would certainly happen on one of those days. It's just my luck."

I know it sounds very manipulative, but it was the most opportune time to tell my father of that $34.99 laptop SODIMMs I wanted. My father said he would get Matt to order it in the morning. I sent Matt an email after my father had left.

Evoke the Auschwitz Mantra...

I really can't get mad at the man. I love him so much and he saved me from certain doom many years ago. He also brought me Maggie and I am gracious beyond measure for him doing that. I can turn a blind eye to some malfeasances sometimes.

Epilogue...

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I asked my father as he got up to head home.

"We are forgetting Maggie's ritual!"

Maggie looked on approvingly as we poured freeze dried venison and turkey in her bowl. YUM!

Love is in the Air!

(Shifty Little Eyes) I Think I am in Love, But it Makes Me Kind of Nervous to Say So...

I've had the most fantastic and fun filled time with this new Toshiba laptop. The whole process was fun and exciting from wiping and formatting the hard drive. Installing Windows XP.  To finding and installing all the required device drivers. The only driver I lack is the software dial-up modem drivers. I hope to find them on Toshiba's support website sitting in some dusty corner somewhere.

My only blow was that the hard drive in the laptop was parallel ATA (PATA) instead of Serial ATA (SATA) or "say-tah" for short. I had so hoped to install a 250 GB solid state drive in the contraption. I had one on hand. It would have doubled or tripled its speed and I am not exaggerating. Now, if I can just get Johnny Otis to order that 2 Gigs of SODIMM laptop memory I need for $34.99.

Dad told Charlie how pleased I was with this piece of computer hardware last night and Charlie responded he thought the laptop was too old to be of much good. He was glad I was enjoying it. Au contraire, this laptop was way before its time.

Dear Lord! Don't Get Me Up Something to Do Today, Okay?

The phone just rang and rang as Maggie and I lay in the bed. Maggie, Phone facilitator, the Magster, jumped off the bed and ran over to the phone as quick as she could. If they wanted to get me up then their wish was fulfilled. Hell, it was 10 AM and time for me to get out of the bed anyway. I was resting as my mother used to always say. I answered the phone trying to see if it was my father but they hung up as soon as I could ask hello. That got me paranoid. The Andrew police are out there, you know?

Put that Down Young Man! Right Now!

"No, you can't have that!" the mother quarreled with the small petulant child. "You put that back this minute!"

The kid had started to cry...

That's is what I predominantly heard in the Piggly Wiggly a moment go. It sounded much like Johnny Otis and I squabbling over some computer parts.

Me: "But I want that solid state drive!" 
  
Johnny Otis: "But You can't have it. $100 dollars is too much!"

We know who holds the purse strings around here and I am too big to cry. Horsefly likes to stomp his feet at Johnny Otis when he doesn't get his way or when he gets upset. That always makes me smile and chuckle.

"I'm going to stomp my feet at Johnny Otis!!!"

I feel like Horsefly does some days.

I was looking for a small can of Castleberry's barbecue pork and another can of Poss' Brunswick stew. Things they don't sell in a frou-frou Kroger. It was a Johnny Otis sanctioned purchase thank goodness. They had both and I hurried to check out and head home before it got too hot today. They say a heat wave is just around weather's corner here in the South. It is supposed to get up to 82° degress.

I was walking to my car when I realized I forgot the hamburger buns to make barbecue sandwiches. I put my purchased items in the car and ran back inside to get a pack of buns.

The phone was ringing when I got home. It was my father.

"I can never get you to the phone," he said laughing nervously. "Why don't you come by the pharmacy and I will give you some money to get a prepaid cell phone at Walmart."

I didn't say it but "Nope!" was what I was thinking.

Let's See if We Can Talk Papa Out of This...

Crucial 2GB Kit (2 x 1GB) DDR2-666 SODIMM

It is only $31 dollars from Crucial ($34.99 on NewEgg w/free shipping). The current amount of ram my laptop has is 512 MB and part of that is used for VRAM memory for the integrated graphics.

Trepidatiously, I placed my laptop on its cover upside down, grabbed a screwdriver, and unscrewed the panel that holds the hard drive. No joy on installing an SSD. It was old school parallel ATA. I was so excited that it may work. My elation was deflated. 

The Twenty Minute Shopping Jamboree...

I don't have much to say tonight (watch the proverbial ink floweth out of the proverbial quill). I was quick to my guns grocery shopping this evening. My total tally came out to be $73 dollars despite my father filling up my cart with Marie Callender's meals.

My father forgot my 6 diet Cokes for the evening and rushed home to get them while I was still shopping. He showed back up when I was almost ready to check out. That worked out very well.

"Look for the Vermont white cheddar mac and cheese meal," I excitably told my father. "It is now my favorite Marie's meal. It is absolutely delicious."

We looked and looked and couldn't find it. Seems to me we had some competition regarding that meal. They are very delicious I found out last week after I bought them on a whim. I settled on buying the chicken and broccoli Alfredo meal this week.

The lady checking us out knew my father very well (they flirt and are both recent widowers) from being an old customer of his and told us she's been driving for Uber on the weekends down in Auburn. It sounded very interesting. I've heard rumors, but never an eyewitness account of the service. She said shes made some good money driving with Uber lately. She only works at Kroger on Monday nights and Thursday nights now.

Maggie shut the hell up!

Somethings got Maggie's panties in a twist and she has barked all evening and night -- it is her warning and danger bark. I know she is just trying to keep us and the house safe,  but it is aggravating after going on for an hour now. She was barking when my father and I left for the grocery store and was still barking as I unloaded my groceries out of my car at home. The scraps from Andrew's table were just too good to pass up so she came inside.

The Laptop Has Been Christened...

The first thing I did upon acquiring this new laptop was to wipe the drive, format it, and reinstall Windows XP professional service pack 3. She is purring like a kitten.

I've heard rumors on the web that you can install an SSD or solid state drive in this laptop and I have an extra 250 GB SSD laying around. We may give it a whirl tomorrow. I would have to reinstall Windows XP again, though. My better computer instincts are telling me to leave well enough alone and to not dick around with the thing.

Where is the Captain in Captain D's?

A Tall Order...

Aye, Aye, Captain. 

Every Sunday night Charlie and my father buy us mainly fast food meals and drinks and they deliver them. Sometimes it is potluck and then sometimes you can request a meal. It depends on everybody's mood for the evening. Lately, I've been getting the #1 at Taco Hell which is a burrito supreme and a taco supreme.

My father always complains that Captain D's is way too expensive (He says the same of Arby's, my favorite and beloved fast food place as well that old curmudgeon). The only person who can override this is Charlie. Everybody got jumbo fish platters for supper last night. Maggie got a filet of Alaskan pollack to herself and then wanted mine as well. Maggieisms. Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly as the old saying goes.

Something intrigued me yesterday when George, my neighbor, left his walker near the road by the mailbox. This George logic didn't make any sense.

I told my father George's hair color is not his natural gray. It makes him look much younger than he actually is.

"Go get it and put it on his carport," my father clandestinely told me. "You know him much better than I."

George popped his head out his side door and told me thank you. He really startled me by his presence and sudden appearance. I only have 8 lives left after that.

"Just helping a neighbor out," I told George. "That's what neighbors are for."

I didn't ask questions and told George to have a great day.

Charlie didn't have much cleaning to do last night. I vowed that if Charlie cleaned this house up then I would keep it that way. Dad said Charlie even remarked on how nice my house looks lately.

Pass the Perfectly Potable Sweet Iced Tea and the Potato Salad Please...

"Charlie? Cook the hell out of them!" my father said cajoling Charlie as he stood next to the grill flipping burgers and turning dogs this evening.

"Your better watch out as you may get what you want," Charlie told my father chuckling.

Now, this is how a good cookout should be. We don't have to have the whole Valley over and a close-knit group of friends can have a delicious supper together -- relaxed and conversational without social anxiety, strife, and stressful awkward dialog.

Charlie had a little impromptu cookout late this evening. Dad's favorite thing Charlie grills is his value pack hot dogs. Charlie grills the cheapest brands of hot dogs he can find and they come out tasting delicious. I still prefer Hebrew National hot dogs, though. Dad says they are too frou-frou and expensive for him. This is coming from a man that cooks filet mignons once a week.

"I'd rather have your pork chops and rice over any other meal you cook," I told my father and the entourage and we all agreed what a good meal it was.

"I ate two hotdogs and a hamburger," my father said sitting next to me on the couch now back home -- Maggie's couch that is. "I am stuffed."

The medication ritual and Maggie's ritual stops for nothing, though.

Earlier, I was asking Charlie's wife (Janice) if I could have some more potato salad and she told me to eat all I wanted. I took her literally. She was pleased I was so enamored by it.

Charlie has told me before of his secret to a great hamburger and that is to let the ground chuck marinate in Lea and Perrins Worcestershire sauce overnight in the fridge.

As I was leaving, Charlie handed me a big sack of goodies.  There were two hot dogs and two hamburgers and big Tupperware container of Janice's potato salad. The were also a big bag of potato chips. Ah, Bless!

Laptopitis -- Andrew's New Laptop...

I am probably not going to get much sleep in the next few days tinkering with my new toy and playmate.

And Good Tidings to You People, Too...

Not My Laptop But Close...

Well, Charlie has done it again for yet another year -- utter altruism to the core.

Every year or so many years Charlie buys his wife a new laptop and he gives me the old one to clean up and use.

"Do you still want her old laptop?" Charlie asked me as he was on his way to work. "Walk out with me and we'll get the computer. The thing weighs a ton."

That was another sign this was most likely junk if it was that heavy.

It was misting steadily outside so I grabbed a jacket off the coat rack, donned my favorite baseball cap, and was right behind Charlie as he walked purposely to his car.

I hesitated again and was dubious when Charlie said it was really old and still running Windows XP. Charlie told me farewell and I got back inside and realized I had found a diamond on a sandy shore as far as laptops go. I will have to get a photo up today. This is one fantastic laptop. It was as if it were never used.

Home From the Gulag...

"Do you realize it has been 11 years since you began getting your injection here?" my nurse, Rebecca asked me. "I found it hard to believe I've been working for Dr. Kamath for 15 years as well."

"Has it been that long?" I asked incredulously and astonished. "Risperdal Consta even outlasted my marriage."

Rebecca and I both got a big chuckle out of that -- my snide remark.

"Your ex-wife was just a tad bit eccentric and avant-garde," Rebecca told me. "You were way too down to earth for her."

My nurse Rebecca and ex-wife Rachel both went to high school together.

Pat had my next appointment card promptly ready and I was off to fulfill one more obligation. That was to deliver my next appointment card to my father.

I told my father that when I got back up to the pharmacy and she was right. Dad looked it up on the pharmacy's computers -- his eyes growing big as saucers. It's a wonder my butt cheeks don't look like the craters on the moon.

"That's what you call dedication and commitment," I told my father. "Now can I have a computer part?"

Me saying that tickled my father's funny bone.

I certainly don't want to go back to the way things were 11 years ago.

Horsefly's Night Out...

Horsefly attended a bowling tournament tonight for "gifted" children and adults and won a trophy. Charlie said he almost bowled a perfect game. He was carrying that trophy across the yard with my father and Charlie hot on his heels.

"He will carry around that trophy for 2 whole weeks," Charlie said as well very proud of Horsefly.

"What did Horsefly just say?" I then asked Charlie stymied. "It sounded urgent."

Horsefly was busily walking around the house mumbling to himself. Charlie was in my bedroom changing my sheets and then putting the dirty ones in my washing machine.

Horsefly's language skills continue to degrade over the years and it worries me. Only a few people can understand him now. Even I have trouble understanding him lately. He has this staccato cadence to his voice and speech that makes his voice sound garbled.

"He needs to use your bathroom and the door is shut," Charlie said smiling.

My toilet got flushed a many as ten times after Horsefly had done his business.

"He wears out the toilets all the time at home," Charlie said.

Dad was fine tonight and was even feeling his oats this evening. Last night was all just a big joke to him. Charlie and I weren't laughing. I bet he wouldn't be laughing if a showed up down at the pharmacy today after drinking a 12 pack of beer.

"I bet you felt like shit this morning when you woke up," I told him.

"Now I know why I don't drink that often," he replied.

I was sad to see the threesome go as I was hungry for company and Maggie was as well. Maggie and I both watched out the window as the whole crew drove off in Charlie's Caprica.

Much Captain Morgan was Consumed Today...

Charlie saved the day tonight. I owe him a very big and huge favor. The tables have certainly turned regarding my own sobriety and my father's increasing tendency to get drunk. My father had called me about 10 PM to tell me he was on the way. It was growing especially late and I was beginning to get worried. Dad clearly sounded drunk over the phone. I immediately called Charlie's cell phone and then called my father back.

"Charlie is going to pick you up and we all three will go buy groceries," I told my father. "Charlie wants to go with us to help me find some bargains (white lie)."

"Tell him I said to pull a rabbit out of his hat," my father laughed drunkenly and gleefully.

The Caprica soon pulled up and the excitement ensued. It was about 11 PM and growing later and later. I dreaded having to go through those self checkout lanes as they are a pain the ass when you have lots of groceries.

"Where are you going?" Charlie asked as my father ambled across my front yard almost falling down.

"I'm taking a piss in Andrew's shrubbery on the side of his house," my father said loudly so the whole neighborhood could hear us.

"I've had rum and cokes all afternoon with my old college roommate," dad then said proudly of himself.

Dad's old college roommate is a bad influence on my father. He always has been.

"You didn't get enough," my father then insisted adamantly as we looked at the total tally.

I had only spent $50 dollars. I was quite bumfuzzled by this whole endeavor.

"John, he's got enough dammit," Charlie said. "Let's go get you in the bed.

I think I got enough groceries in that quite a few items were free due to the chaotic nature of those self checkout kiosks. Certain things we had absentmindedly not "rung up" as we say in the South