Sleepless in A-Ville

I lay in the bed for the longest time tonight tossing and turning and looking at the clock as the hours ticked by. I tried numerous things to put me to sleep. One was a religious program on the radio playing old hymnal tunes. I was sure that would put me to sleep, but no. I then donned my mp3 player and listened to some melancholy soundtrack selections I uploaded. Next I tried a warm glass of milk heated in the microwave accompanied by three Tylenol PMs. Nothing worked. “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” I said aloud regarding the denizens of the night.

I decided to call Carolyn down at Fat Albert’s convenience store as she works third shift most days and have a little fun at her expense. The phone rang…

“Fat Albert’s, can I help you?” Carolyn said picking up the phone.

“Uh, I want to know today’s winning lottery numbers,” I said as I masked my voice by making it deeper.

“Which lottery?” Carolyn asked.

“All of them,” I replied.

“Sir, there are far too many numbers for me to name them all on the phone,” She replied curtly.

“Well, could you tell me the Cash3 numbers for yesterday at least?” I said trying to stifle back a laugh.

Carolyn was growing frustrated with this call.

“Hold on a second,” she said with a huff and in few minutes later picked the phone back up and replied, “514”

“Thank you ma’am,” I said. “How much is a cup of coffee? I think I might come down and get a cup. You sound kind of cute.”

“Who is this?” Carolyn asked laughing.

“It’s me,” I said in my real voice.

“YOU SHITHEAD!” She exclaimed laughing. “I am gonna kill you when I see you. I thought you were one of those weirdos we get all the time obsessing over the lottery.”

“Ya’ll busy tonight?” I asked.

“It has been completely dead tonight,” She said. “We haven’t had a soul come in for the last hour.”

“Well, at least that makes your job easy,” I replied.

“It makes my job damn boring and the nights go by long,” She said.

“Listen, in the next day or two we need to talk,” I replied.

“What’s wrong?” She asked with a tone of concern in her voice.

“Oh, nothing major. I just want to tell you in person though,” I said. “Well listen, you have a good night and I will let you get off the phone.”

“Now you have me worried,” She replied.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “It has nothing to do with you personally.”

We both said goodnight and hung up the phone.

Now, I must find something to do for the rest of the night. I doubt I will get any sleep. I might play some games and am gonna pop some popcorn. Nobody updates their blogs at 1 AM in the morning so reading blogs is out of the question. Well, let me go find something to pass these idle late night hours. Luckily, I can sleep all day tomorrow.