Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Homed Once Again and a Gang Update…

The smell of mozzarella cheese, pepperoni, and pizza crust is wafting into my den from my kitchen. Yes, I am homed once again. I made the short 5 minute drive up the road to my house and parked my car for the time being. I was growing tired of spending so much on gas lately which such a life entails. I also came to the sobering realization that if I am ever to find a mate, mentally ill or not, I was going to have to go back to a more conventional lifestyle. Let’s face it guys. Some dude living in his car ain’t exactly a prime catch these days. I don’t think that is high up on the list of what women look for in potential mates. It is so nice to be using my relatively fast computers and internet connection at home that my brother affectionately calls “The Bunker.” My laptop is a piece of outdated junk that was a pain in the ass to use.

My whole online reading material is derived from other blogs these days. Nobody is writing much this week leaving me bereft of reading material. Even the normally verbose “The Homeless Guy” has slunk off into some hole to hide lately. He had a paid blogging gig this weekend at a local television affiliates blog and stirred up a shit storm among its readers with a crass post about Steve Irwin deserving what he got. Nobody has heard from him since. I am sure he will lick his wounds and return to blog again another day.

My car living experiment has completely got my usual routines out of whack thus the lack of posts about the gang. I haven’t been spending much time down at the shopping center or at all. I thought I would write a short update on what the gang has been doing. This was garnered from Big S this morning.

George: George has been busy courting Pookie, playing poker, and trying to cut down on his ice beer consumption. There seems to be love in the air these days around here. Big S said that Pookie had gone into his wallet again the other night while he slept at her house and took fifty dollars. She disappeared and showed up two days later after a crack binge. George was furious. I have told him repeatedly that I don’t care how horny you get; a crack whore ain’t a good place to go to get satisfied.

Ferret: Ferret is presumably still at that religious based group home for indigent and alcoholic men down in Columbus, Georgia. No news is good news as far as Ferret is concerned.

Droopy: You all read of my run-in with Droopy last night. He has really let himself go and is not taken care to keep up his appearance. He will wear the same t-shirt and jeans for weeks on end. I see him constantly walking about this small town on his various social errands with the underbelly of town

Dumpster Diving Dan: Dan is doing what he always does. His longstanding feud with the hog man ceased as the hog man gave up due to Dan’s tenacity and went looking for greener pastures. Dan still feeds his seagulls every morning and hits the dumpsters before the heat of a late summer’s sun hits.

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