Monday's were a long day for my mother. She would teach all day and then she would pile all us kids into the car to drive to Columbus, Georgia and the chiropractor. "He's cute," my father would say of my mother's crush upon her doctor when we would complain of the long drive when a doctor was available in our hometown. Mom would urge all us children to do our homework in the car as she drove and listened to country music. Do you realize how futile that was? We were more interested in fighting and picking on my little sister in the backseat.
My back is hurting me this afternoon and it reminded me of those trips to the chiropractor. My back never hurt until mom started to force me into seeing that quack for years. I think it is my kidneys and I tend to be a hypochondriac these days. No more drinking for me I decided this afternoon sobering up. I just had to step back out one more time to see if it was still the same. The hangovers. The paranoia. The elation and no-care-in-the-world attitude drinking brings for me. I can be rash and quick with words and even quicker with a temper. You know what I hate the most? The guilt. Guilt for letting down Rosa and guilt for letting down my readers. Excuse me while I go slink off and pour out half a case of beer. I just can't have it in the house as I come down from this drunk. It was fun while it lasted, but I just enjoy it too much and will abuse it.
15 comments:
Oh, thank the Lord! I could just kiss you! The clouds part and the sun does shines... I am keeping you in my prayers Andrew as always. You will always have my support. If I were there I would help you pour, but I think that is actually something you must do on your own. Stay Gold Andrew.
deep breath in and exhale. You had me on my knees in prayer for you. Glad you saw the light!
Glad that u saw the light!
I am cheering for u right now.
I REALY LIKE HOW OU RITE
AND I FIND IT SPLENDID THAT YOU START OVER
GOOD LUCK
One is too many and a thousand isn't enough. It's not easy..what you are dealing with. You are very brave and very smart and you've made a world for yourself with the people in it where you can move past your past. Always admiring...
Di
I'm proud of you Andrew..but the question is, are you proud of yourself for throwing it out? Regardless of whether you're in a funk or not, I will always be loyal..and I'm proud to stand by you in blogging world regardless of whether good or bad.
GOod for you! I hope the hangover isn't too harsh, but harsh enough so this will be many moons until you step back in for a day or two.
Always,
Crusty!
Andrew,
I was worried about you, buddy, and I don't tend to be a worrier. Quite to the contrary, in fact.
I'm VERY glad to see you successfully on the other side of the last few days - both the drinking as well as the wander lust.
p.s. - I like to wander as well, and there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you don't have to throw away your life to do it. :)
Nice template!!! Can use this???
I like the way you write! Gook luck with things, it gets tough.
Been there... Done that... Reading your posts lately has been like watching a car careening into a wall. It was just a matter of time. However, feeling sick and hung over is a real kick in the pants when you are used to feeling healthy and joyful. Just be warned... it does not take too many slips to be back into a real dark skid. Stay healthy.
Good for You, Andrew! I hated to see you make that slip, we all were holding our breath for you. But I so admired your honesty. None of us are perfect and we all make some unhealthy choices now and then. Sometimes we do have to test the waters. I'm glad you quickly realized this isn't a path you want to travel down again! Wow, I so admire your courage and your determination! I am proud of you! Have a nice relaxing night with your Rosa. I'm sure she understands.
All I can say is, I have been all the way with you, by your side silently...as many of your readers have.
Do you feel us, Andrew?
I'm not here to judge you at all. Just here to say that I'm glad you're ok and having a grand day. The effort that you make each day deserves a pat on the back. I know how hard it must be for you.
I am so happy to hear that you poured the rest of the beer down the ol' drain. I hope it won't be too hard for you. You are in my thoughts Andrew :)
Stacy
Always wishing the best of luck to you Andrew. Your blog is one of a kind.
It's sweet you feel bad for your reader's, but it's even BETTER that you know you abuse it. MUCH more important imo. Getting numb is only temperary isn't it? Much better to deal with the crap sober and then open you eyes one day and feel good.
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