The Ding Dong Manifesto…

“Mom’s cooking!” George said excitedly as I walked in the front door of Mrs. Florene’s house this Sunday morning. “She’s been baking Valentine’s cookies all morning for Church.”

The house smelled wonderful.  There was the sweet scent of baking sugar cookies intermingled with the savory aroma of frying sausage.  My stomach protested that it must be filled and filled soon. 

“Come on!” George said. “I’ve got a website I want to show you!”

We walked into the den as George sat down at the computer desk waking his sleeping computer. 

“I found it yesterday,” he said. “I am addicted.”

George showed me this chat and webcam webpage were people were showing their private parts.  I couldn’t help but laugh.  I knew this would happen eventually.  I knew George would soon be drawn to the underworld of the Internet like a moth to a flame.

“It’s all ding dongs and no coochies,” I replied. “It’s kind of gross, George!”

“Wait a minute and you will see a woman,” George said impatiently as images of penises scrolled down the page.  He wanted me to like this site so badly.  Just then, Mrs. Florene walked into the den to ask what we were doing.  George quickly minimized the webpage and if a black man could blush, he would have been blushing. 

“Just showing Andrew this new poker website,” he said, lying.

“Y’all come on and eat breakfast,” Mrs. Florene then said interrupting George’s fun. “It is getting cold.”

Breakfast was buttermilk pancakes and that never tiresome Clarke Brother’s sausage.  We all grew quiet as we hungrily ate the food was so good.  The pancakes were so good I didn’t protest when Mrs. Florene put three more on my plate.  I never eat seconds these days due to my bulimia for the fear of getting too full. 

As I was leaving after coffee and TV in the den, Mrs. Florene handed me a small bag of heart shaped sugar cookies. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby,” she told me. 

George walked out with me to the car urging me to check out that website when I got home.

“It’s all ding dongs,” I said again, laughing. 

George looked so frustrated as he lit up a cigar and I drove off.  I had the biggest smile on my face driving home.  It’s good to have some friends again as Mrs. Florene and George are always up to something interesting.  It was going to be a good Valentine’s Day even if I didn’t have a sweetheart to call all my own.