YES! Payday…….

Monday is my “payday” and boy did I need some money. I was completely out of food, drinks, and tobacco. I drove down to the bank and gleefully cashed my weekly check I make out to myself.

As I rode through “the strip” in downtown my stomach was grumbling mightily as I passed all the fast food joints. Dollar menu here I come. I ordered two one dollar double cheeseburgers with extra onions and devoured them in my truck. I then made a beeline to the grocery store and stocked up. I managed to get a fair amount of groceries for forty dollars. Buying meat is so expensive though and I was hungry for some beef. I compromised and got some cheap cubed steak that I will simmer a long time in gravy to get them tender this afternoon. I also bought some ground beef for spaghetti for tomorrow night. A pound of ground chuck cost $3.29! OUCH! At least that spaghetti will feed me up to four meals.

After unpacking my groceries and putting them up, I decided since my truck was still warm that I would drive out to the lake and the dam and take a long walk. It was a cold walk but I enjoyed getting out of the house and the lake was beautiful. I was the lone person out there and had the park to myself other than the ducks that looked very cold nestling amid each other at the side of the lake.

After arriving home, I worked for two hours on scientific notation and working with radicals. I am trying to do one chapter everyday from an online tutorial that I found. I have fifty more chapters to go and then will take a comprehensive online exam. I am feeling better and better everyday about taking algebra this spring. Math is like building blocks and each concept builds upon the other. I am finding my fear of math to be slowly dissolving as I relearn these basic building blocks.

I had a call from a friend in AA today. They were concerned that they haven’t seen me in a week. I explained that I didn’t like the religious aspects and I felt I was trading one addiction for another. I talked about AA feeling like a cult and the members seemed to be brainwashed. I also want to take responsibility for my actions/addiction and I don’t feel like throwing them off on some “higher power”. I do have power over my addictions and have a choice in drinking or not. Thinking this way goes against everything taught in AA and my friend felt concerned for me. I told him not to worry and that I still wanted to keep in touch with him. It is doubtful though as I will know be seen as an outsider and probably off the wagon and dangerous to their sobriety. I did express lots of gratitude for their call though and was very nice and polite with my explanation even though I knew it would go over like a lead balloon.

Well, let me get back to studying. Math problems here I come. I just felt the need and urge to write a few short moments and get some thoughts down.