Travels with Preacher Man

I had quit my job as a research technician at a major university and decided to enroll in one of those month-long truck driving schools. I took to driving a big rig like a fish to water. “You are going to make a damn fine truck driver,” My instructor used to say.

Within a matter of weeks I had that glossy new commercial driver’s license in my hands. I was itching to get out on the roadways and start making those big bucks. The lure and romance of the open road was calling me.

I applied to numerous companies and got several offers for starting positions. There was this one company with big shiny blue trucks and it caught my eye. They also paid well. I soon had a bus ticket in hand and was on my way to Mississippi to start my training. I was assigned to the Dollar General account and my trainer was called Preacher Man. I was going to live with this strange man for two months as he showed me the ropes. This made me apprehensive but the urge to get my own truck and to drive solo drove me ever forwards in my quest. (It was also refreshing to be away from the ever watchful eye of my then wife.)

Preacher man turned out to be an interesting fellow. Preacher lived dual lives. During the week he was a foul mouthed and brusque truck driver. On the weekend he was a mild mannered pastor at a small local church. Preacher was married and had three kids. A picture of his family was prominently displayed on the dash of his rig. Preacher Man also had an affinity for prostitutes who are affectionately called “Lot Lizards” in truck driver lingo.

I will never forget my first night as a long haul truck driver. No sooner than we had almost pulled out of the parking lot a demure female voice called out over the CB.

“Any of you boys looking for a good time?” She said.

Preacher picked up the CB and responded.

“I am up for a good time if the price is right.” He said as he took that picture off his dash and stored it above the sun visor.

I sat there in shock as I had never experienced something such as this but I knew what was going on. They negotiated for a few moments and then soon two young ladies were crawling into the cab of the truck with us. They looked like teenagers they were so young.

“Does your friend there need a companion as well?” One lady asked in reference to me.

The lady’s companion put her hand on my leg, squeezed it, and smiled.

“I’m married but thanks anyway.” I replied as I blushed before Preacher could respond.
Preacher Man drove back into the complex and dropped me off at the trucker’s lounge so he could take care of his business. I remember sitting in that lounge for what seemed like ages waiting on Preacher Man to return. “What in the hell have I got myself into?” I thought.

Preacher turned out to be an okay fellow but I never did like his occasional romps with Lot Lizards. The truck always reeked of sex after every encounter and it made me uncomfortable. I was overjoyed when I finally was promoted and took into possession my very own big rig. I finally had some privacy and some peace and quiet. Trucking did turn out to be one of the hardest jobs I ever worked though.