Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Dangers of Being Sherman

It never felt so good to get off work this morning. Those two hours seemed like the longest two hours of my life. I continually looked at my watch as the minutes slowly ticked by. When 8:00 a.m. rolled around, I clocked out and bolted out those automatic doors to freedom. The first thing I did was to unloosen and remove that damn choking tie they make us wear. I slung it over my shoulder.

I did get to see Sherman this morning which is always a treat (as I do most days these days). He was sitting in his early 80’s Dodge Diplomat in the fire lane awaiting one of his customers as they shopped in the grocery store where I work. He beckoned for me to come over and sit with him to talk.

“Buy dis brotha a beer,” He said as I sat down which is his usual greeting for such encounters.

“Sherman, I can’t go into work buying beer,” I replied as I chuckled. “They will think I am an alcoholic or something and besides, it’s eight fucking thirty in the morning.”

“Come on,” He said. “A workin’ man can be buyin’ a beer.”

“Not the kind you drink,” I replied. “Ice beer screams, ‘I’m an alcoholic.’”

Sherman just laughed and pulled a half empty bottle of cheap wine out from under the seat of his car. He took a drink and then handed it towards me. I waved it off with my hand.

“You too good to be drinkin’ with ole Sherman?” He asked.

“No, no, not at all,” I replied. “My doctor just told me I shouldn’t drink with the medications I am taking.”

“Damn doctors,” He said. “Dey be ruinin’ a man’s good time.”

“When is your court date?” I asked changing the subject.

Sherman got a DUI several months ago. I think it was his sixth and he still gambles by drinking and driving. From what I have heard, he may be facing a possible year in jail.

“Hell, I don’t be knowin’,” Sherman said. “I be done lost the ticket. I be thinkin’ it be in June.”

“Call down to city hall and find out the date,” I said concerned and flabbergasted that he didn’t know.

“Screw dem bastards,” He said and then took another drink.

About this time, a very pretty and young black woman came sauntering across in front of us with a bag of groceries.

“Daaammmn!” Sherman said pointing. “Dat be one fine piece of black ass.”

I just laughed and bid Sherman good day. He is looking at a year in jail, lost his ticket with the court date, and all he can think of is women and drinking. I was so tired from preparing the produce department for two hours and was ready to get home and get something to eat. I was not in the mood for hanging out down at the grocery store today. I walked on home in the cool morning air soaking in the glorious sunshine.

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