I spent most of my afternoon hanging out with Ferret down at his camp by the river. I had brought my fishing rod, but didn’t manage to catch anything. I and Ferret had a long discussion about our drinking habits. It kind of reminded me of some of the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings I have attended, but with a very odd twist. Ferret told me that when he is running low on money he will drink mouthwash.
“Mouthwash?” I asked incredulously.
“Think about it man,” He said. “A cheap bottle of vodka will cost you ten bucks, right?”
“Yeah,” I replied in agreement.
“That shit is about forty percent alcohol,” He said looking for my approval.
I nodded to let him know I was following the discussion.
“You can go buy that Equate mouthwash down at Wal-Mart for just over two bucks and it is almost thirty percent alcohol,” He replied. “Your ass can get fucked up for two bucks!”
“How can you drink that crap though?” I asked grimacing. “Doesn’t it make you gag and vomit?”
“You better have a chaser,” He replied with a laugh. “It ain’t as bad as you think, especially if you need a drink really bad.”
Me and Ferret talked for quite a bit longer mostly about sex and women (like us two fucked up souls are ever going to get laid). The sun was growing lower on the horizon and I decided to head home before it got dark and I couldn’t find my way out of the woods. I also wanted to try Ferret’s little mouthwash experiment. I drove down to Wal-Mart and bought a 1.5 liter bottle of equate mouthwash for $2.47 with tax I have drank two full glasses of the stuff and let me tell you, yes, it will get you drunk. Ferret was right. The below picture was taken about an hour ago.
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