I drove over to my parents this morning. It is a usual occurrence with me. I get my daily allotment of Cokes and Diet Dr. Pepper. Helen was sitting under the portico when I drove down the driveway. I walked back around to say hello after I parked.
"How are you?" I asked as I sat down on the white bench she was sitting on.
"Rethinking my job," Helen said with a good natured smile. "My family is giving me a hard time because I am a black woman cooking and cleaning for a white man."
There was a pause in the conversation. I didn't know what to say.
"I shouldn't have told you that," Helen said. "I'm sorry."
"I can see where it would cause trouble," I finally replied.
We got on the subject of Black America and how hopeful we both were for Obama to do great things.
"You like him?" Helen asked looking excited.
"I think he is the best thing that has happened politically in a LONG time," I replied.
"You know there is still racism in America," Helen told me. "I see it all the time."
I told Helen the story of how dad's mom always kept separate dishes and glasses for black people when they visited and came to eat. If you knew my grandmother, then this was so out of character for her.
"See?" Helen said. "It happens when you least expect it."
I left Helen to her thoughts thinking I should have said more to reassure her that things are better. Times are changing. We have a partially black man in the White House. A beautiful black woman as first lady. Black people have more opportunities than ever. And most of all, I didn't want Helen to quit. I love her so and she has meant so much to me these past few years she has worked for dad.
13 comments:
that's a tough situation to be in.
But in this economy there are so many that would give anything to have a job..Helen respects you and your family and that's fantastic that she realizes how fortunate she has to have a job.
I loved your answers that you gave her and I agree..this new change is a beautiful thing!
Happy Monday! :)
P.s. I see it too (Racism) all sides..even from family members about the jewish faith..makes me sick
sigh..why can't we all just get along?
I hope she sticks around! And I always want to reassure people too, but sometimes, less is more. She knows you care, I'm sure, for it is clear way over here:)
I hope she stays too.
Andrew, What a thoughtful and interesting posting! I agree with Helen, racism is alive and well, but I agree that things are getting better.
I have to say that things are getting better too, but i wonder if we all think that because we are white? I have learned not to try and judge a situation unless I have walked in the shoes of those involved. I love Helen, just from reading about her from you, obviously. I hope she doesn't leave. Hugs, buddy. :)
Very interesting post.
I suppose in the future, it won't matter if the cooks are black or white or if the professional folk are black or white.
but right now, it is still awkward. i know at work, the majority of the cleaning and kitchen staff are minorities (mostly women). the majority of the doctors are white (men)
part of that has to be a result of racism, altho part of it may be just individual choices people make.
i firmly believe the world is changing for the better and that in America the doors are open for all people regardless of race or gender.
I'd hate for Helen to leave because of appearances, or what other people think. She's family.
I hope Helen doesn't leave either, she has been a good help to you. Interesting she felt so comfortable to talk to you about the issues.
It is unfortunate and sad that racism is alive and well in America. We are making progress and in the grand scheme of things it is happening fairly quickly. I'm sure for those affected it is a small consolation.
On the subject of facebook notifications driving you insane....
go to the main log in page, at the top, on right click Settings. Then click the notifications tab. There is a list of things you can turn off so you don't receive them. It helped me.
The oddest part of all is that those who are being racist in your scenario are Helen's relatives. That's the definition of irony.
Do you think she knows how well you think of her? I know things are quite different in the south from the rest of america especially when it comes to race relations. It might make her uncomfortable to know you love her, but knowing she's valued might mean a lot to her. - But maybe you tell her that all the time.
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