It is very comforting to me to know that I can get to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting every noon in a local town. It is quite a lengthy drive, but well worth it if you are feeling sorry for yourself like I was this morning. I woke up with the funks. Mornings such as these are prime meeting time.
I managed to arrive at the meeting hall just mere minutes before the meeting was to begin. I walked in, grabbed an ashtray, and waved at a few familiar faces as I sat down. This meeting is the last one I know of in that you can smoke during the actual meeting. A smoky haze highlighted by the noon sun shining in through the windows already filled the room and drifted on the currents of the air. This meeting hall was once a Catholic Church and the bright noon sun also shone through the old stained glass windows splaying a myriad of vibrant colors upon the floor and the walls. It brought a tranquil feeling upon me.
The meeting began and we went through the usual routines of reading the traditions, promises, and the 12 steps. Soon, it was time to talk and the chairperson opened up the room to do so. A very beautiful young woman spoke up and immediately caught my attention.
“Hi, I’m Angela and I am an alcoholic,” She said and then began to speak.
I leaned forward in my chair placing my elbow upon the table and resting my chin within my hand. God, she was gorgeous and so eloquent. I was mesmerized as she told us what problems she was having today. I looked closely at her hand and she wasn’t wearing a wedding band.
She ended up talking for 20 minutes and that 20 minutes passed by quickly in a blur of infatuation. I was far too shy to talk today in a room consisting mostly of strangers and people I was unfamiliar with. I quietly slipped out the front door after emptying my ashtray and returning it to the ledge below a window when the meeting was over.
I drove on over to Charlie Joseph’s Hotdogs for lunch still thinking about that woman. I hadn’t been this stricken by someone in years.
“Can I take your order?” Rang out interrupting my daydream.
I was quickly brought back into the world at hand. A weasely looking teen-ager stood at the cash register looking at me intently and waiting for my order. His glasses had started to slip off the edge of his nose and he reached up with his hand to push them back on.
“Yeah, I want two slaw dogs, a small order of fries, and a medium diet coke,” I replied finally composing myself.
“That’s two slaw dogs, a small order of fries, and a medium coke,” He repeated. “Could I interest you in an order of our fried hot pepper poppers?”
“No thanks,” I said.
Within moments, my order was ready and I walked back up to the counter to grab the tray of food and go sit down. I sat at the back of the restaurant in front of a window watching the cars whir by on the highway. I ate my meal still mesmerized by that beautiful, young lady named Angela that spoke today. Various scenarios of romance played out in my mind. I was regretting the fact that I was not forward enough to ask her for her phone number. I may never see her again.
Oh well, they say in A.A. that you should sometimes wait years and get quite a good stretch of sobriety before ever even entertaining another relationship. Getting sober is hard enough without adding another person’s wants, desires, and emotional needs to the mix. I can take comfort in my dreams though. Someday, maybe a beautiful, kind, and eloquent soul like Angela will enter my life and give it all the more meaning. Until then, my dreams and daydreams will have to suffice.
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