I normally take Luvox for my obsessive compulsiveness. It has been two days without it. The signs are telling. I stayed up all night writing, drinking sodas, and smoking little cigars. I am a man possessed when I get like this. It is also invigorating and intoxicating. Like some demure and coy mistress you are trying to court, the next cigarette and drink of coke spurs you on. I have often said that schizophrenia can be terrifying. It can also be so intoxicating as you get caught up in the little world unfolding in your mind. Nights blink by in a blur. Morning arrives and sleep evades you. Thoughts march through my head at a brisk pace like Hitler's army to the Polish front.
12 comments:
Damn, that's a lot of Coke...
Oh wow...my sleepless nights I drink a lot of water and usually paint until I fall asleep. I hope you get some sleep today, luv. Be well.
ps. If you read my blog you might see why I've been avoinding updating. I'm not having the best of times and I was trying to avoid tears that are mostly there now since I'm really trying to be honest.
why is it that when a mentally challenged person takes prescribed meds & starts to feel good... they QUIT the meds, thinking they are well?! The reason you were feeling well was because of the meds... please start taking them again before you do something you'll be sorry for. This is an all too common mistake made by those, myself included, when we start feeling better. I've done the same thing before. Please take the meds the doctor has prescribed for you. Usually, these meds are prescribed for the rest of your life. I don't mean any harm or ill will toward you, Andrew, talk to your doc before quitting the meds.
Any chance you'd be willing to switch to decaf Coke?
:-)
My stomach hurts looking at all that pop. You must have a tummy of iron! Watch out for your health, okay!
Andrew,
The caffeine in diet coke and coffee causes me to have heart palputaions which can trigger panic/anxiety attacks. I switched to caffeine free years ago and it made a big difference. And all that caffeine can keep you from falling asleep as well. I agree with anonymous boxer above, try decaf if you can.
Hope you can get back on track and get some sleep.
Peace,
Lena
Please take your meds Andrew! I'll be praying for you.
~A Devoted Reader~
It's a good sign that you realize that that much Coke and cigarettes is not the norm for most people. Neither is good for you, but in such high amounts it's probably really bad for you. If the Luvox helps and you can recognize that, why not just take it? Your own mind is drugging you with all those great feelings, but it's just a trick. You know in the end that it will lead you astray.
No wonder you can't SLEEP. It's all the caffine in those cokes! You should really consider taking the meds prescribed by your Dr., and maybe eliminate those thrown by your dad.
Remember what Pipe Tobacco said about water. This much coke is not good.
I just don't know that stopping some of these meds is going to be good for you. You know that what you are doing isn't the norm. Think about this in the view of moderation rather than stopping cold. Please think about this, I am worrying about you right now.
let's look at the other side, the glass full side-you haven't sipped liquor in 11days... that is fantastic..you're tackling one addiction..I think that's marvelous..
remember we can't build a beautiful town in one day..it's a gradual process.
Always,
Crusty~
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