I had never been faced with the prospect of Thanksgiving alone in the 35 years of my life. My family left me uninvited as they journeyed four hours to my cousin's house for their Thanksgiving meal. "It would be too much on you," my father said, meaning they would be embarrassed if I had another anxiety attack or if I acted strange due to all the social pressure.
Dinner found me invited over at the local Baptist church for my Thanksgiving meal. A meal prepared for poor and indigent people out of the kindness of the church's patron's hearts. The smell of raw onion wafted through the air accompanied by the sounds of a football game playing out on the big screen television in the dining hall. It was a wonderful meal of turkey and dressing, candied sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, and banana pudding for dessert (the best banana pudding I had ever eaten). A small church service was shared after the meal where the pastor spoke of giving thanks to God and to our fellow man. I had never seen people so in need, or so thankful for a warm, nourishing meal, and it gave a special reason and feeling to Thanksgiving day.
Earlier in the day, I had a phone call from someone who reads this blog. I had reluctantly given out my phone number -- my old phone phobias trying to act up. We talked for what seemed like an hour. As if we were old friends. She experienced anxiety attacks much as I have and wanted to share her wisdom and experience in dealing with them. It made the day not quite so lonely to have someone to talk to. We spoke and spoke as I nervously drank sodas and smoked little cigars.
The day ended with me and Maggie curled up in the bed as I watched television and read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I gravitate towards the worst case scenario tales in that little blue book -- it makes me feel more comforted and hopeful. To know that these terrible, horrible drunks -- the kind of drunks who almost lost everything and everybody -- can get sober and stay sober to live healthy and productive lives. There is hope for me yet! I hope your Thanksgiving was as pleasantly dysfunctional as much as mine was.
17 comments:
Your Thanksgiving actually sounded pretty good Andrew, considering. I will keep my personal opinions about family to myself here. :) I had to laugh at your last line, and I found it to be very true. Have a great Friday!
And I LOVE the Snoopy Christmas Scene!
We have already had our Thanksgiving here in Canada but I think it was totally unforgivable for your family to leave you alone.
I'm happy you had a good time with people you can identify with. At least they weren't a bunch of hypocrites like you would have been with!!!!
Have a good day and thank you for making mine with your blog. It's the first thing I go to every morning and the last at night ( and lots in between)!!!
It sounded like a good Thanksgiving. Mental illness is unrelenting and even though my own Thanksgiving was good, the day after is starting off badly. We can only live day by day so why worry. Try to avoid the commercial frenzy that they turned Christmas into and relax. I think that you benefitted by having your family shun you.
I'm not happy about your family leaving you alone but.........
Where you went and who you had dinner with just might have been far less dysfunctional.. and more fun!
I'm so glad you weren't alone. Thankful. I'm sure you'll get lots of comments about your family; I'm not saying anything.
I love banana pudding.
I love Snoopy.
I love your blog.
I wish my family had left me uninvited, instead they used the whole day to make fun of my panic attacks.... I'm glad your day ended better.
I am glad you had a warm and nourishing meal and that you were comfortable where you were.
Big Book is amazing and there is hope for you for sure!
Hope the tips from your blogger friend will help you to manage the panic attacks. There is hope there, as well.
Well, to be honest, I know how you feel. I haven't really been uninvited but I know that if I were to go to Thanksgiving with my family, I would be stared at, whispered about and it would be a very uncomfortable situation...but I'm gay. We live above a gentleman whose daughter is dealing with the same thing that you are...I'm sure she wasn't un invited. Family is family, you can't ever NOT be family and for them to not invite you is pretty lame. Kudos for finding a way to have a nice Thanksgiving. I'll deffinately keep reading.
when I read about your way of celebrating thanksgiving I get a picture of "that 70´s show" in my head. I just thaugt there were on american movies the church prepared food for poor and indigent people. That´s a very cind thaugt to give them a warm meal. Unfortually we don´t celebrate thanksgiving in sweden. Maybe a tradition I should start in my family.
I am really bummed that you were not envited to join your family Thanksgiving yet I know for myself times with family can be hard to deal with........I know often times being with aa people or people i do not know is often easier.
I'm glad you had a good dinner and a good talk. It feels good to talk to someone.
Hugs!
My family spent the day gossipping, but I guess they do that everyday and the food wasn't all that great. I try to add to the conversation, but they ignore me most of the time probably thinkng that my not using ebonics it a way to try and "act white". Next year, I hope to be in Rome on Thanksgiving. Or at least in another state.
Andrew, I thought that MY family sucked, but you win that contest. They obviously don't give a crap about you or your feelings if it was so important to go somewhere that you wouldn't be welcomed.
But, if they had done the nice family thing and had dinner at home where you could have come then it might have been worse, so maybe it's better that you had some good banana pudding without the side serving of family dysfunction.
I love your Snoopy banner...gosh, I can't believe your family left you on Thanksgiving but I'm glad you went down to the church and got a good meal and some fellowship.
I agree, the snoopy banner is precious and I like it.
Well, if we lived closer, you would have been welcome to come to my house for Thanksgiving and hang out with Armando and me and my Dad's family. :) Mom and I cooked and you would have had plenty to eat because we still have way too many leftovers.
Only one comment about your Dad not inviting you... ARRRRGH.
-Michelle
SNoopy!! sigh..I always loved finding the perfect Charlie Brown Christmas Tree...
you got through a holiday and you did it on your own..good for you!!! :) I like what you did..
and yes, I had the norm of dysfunction as well...
trying to gather everything to find some words to put up over on my blog about it.
Always,
Crusty~
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