More This and That…

• Kim and I went to see The Twilight Saga: Eclipse last night.  Kim said it was a movie about emo vampires and shirtless werewolves.  I laughed.  She was pretty much right.  All the Twilight movies start extremely slow with lots of romance and end up with these sweeping intense action sequences.  I loved it having listened to all the audiobooks on my iPod.  Kim was meh having not read the books!
• We then to Chili’s afterwards and both got the babyback ribs. Kim drank two giant margaritas before our meal and I told her she drank too much in a very passive way – basically just an aside.  It hurt her feelings and it was a quiet ride home back from Auburn as she pouted with me.  I apologized profusely to no avail. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.  No sex last night which I was looking forward to some amorous affairs.
• I managed to garner two more regular customers for my yardcare business yesterday.  One was this very attractive single older lady who was very flirtatious. She was a cougar.  I was extremely flattered, but managed to hold her advances at bay.  The other lady was another older woman who had been paying $40 dollars every two weeks for a yardcare business to mow her lawn.  She jumped at the bargain I am at mowing for only $20 dollars.
• The radar is looking very active this early in the morning which is odd, but exciting.  Soon, the heat of the day will hit and storms will just erupt.  I am excited for what the day will bring weather-wise. 
• I absolutely can’t wait for my new processor to get here tomorrow.  I am chomping at the bit to tear my computer apart and install it. I am hoping the BIOS on my Dell supports it.  I am gambling that it will work.  The CPU has four processors running at 3.0 GHz.  My current processor is a Core 2 Duo overclocked to 3.6 GHz but it only has two processors.
• Dad paid me a compliment yesterday saying he was astonished I wasn’t a drunken mess by now.  I am happy I told him.  I don’t need to stay drunk all the time when I am not miserable.
• I’ve had some withdrawal from my bipolar and antidepressant medications.  I keep feeling what feels like this electric sensation surging through my body.  I believe this is what menopausal women experience when they say that they are having hot flashes.
• One of my biggest mental illness symptoms I had for years was that I would hear what sounded like car doors shutting or knocks on my door.  That has gone away thankfully and much to my relief.  I realize now it was social anxiety related and think my new medication for social anxiety is helping.
• My severe anxiety just seems to get better with every passing day.  Each day, late in the afternoons, the anxiety grows less.  I can almost imagine a life without anxiety these days.  I can almost get euphoric when 5pm rolls around and my stomach is not in a knot and I am not a nervous wreck.  It is so very, very nice to live like this.  I deserve this after years of torture on those regards.
• Now that those antidepressants are getting out of my system, I am finding myself a very sexual creature once again after years of being neutered by my medications.  I find myself having fantasies again and I haven’t had them in  years.  I also find attractive women sexually stimulating again for the first time in forever.  Breasts.  Butts.  Hips.  It is all so intoxicating.  
• I just drove over a moment ago to get my six diet Cokes for the day.  Mom still puts them out every night.  I have a new routine while I pace the floor smoking as I drink them.  It has to be one of the pleasurable things I experience these days.  I love this morning routine.
• Well, today is my day off from work and I am going to make it just that, a day off.  No yard work.  No nothing.  I am just going to spend the day reading and browsing the Internet.  And hopefully making amends with Kim.  I can’t stand for her to be outdone with me.  She really doesn’t drink that much.  I am just hypersensitive from my own experiences with drinking.  I just need to be careful.