It’s Business as Usual…

It’s business as usual for mom as far as I am concerned.  She called me this evening and told me to come get my diet Cokes.  I told her I could pay for my own now, but she insisted on us sticking to our routines.  “I like doing it for you,” she said. “I don’t have much to do in my life.  I like the routines.”  She also bought me more of my drink mixes and left them on my kitchen counter sometime today along with another giant jar of creamy Kroger peanut butter.  I am sure Maggie was thrilled at seeing her.  Her only frets are my disability and she is obsessing over that.  She says they are going to review my eligibility to return to work full time.  I told her that was against the law and one of the good things Clinton did when he was in office.  They can’t punish you for returning to work part time.   It will not trigger a review.  Mom will still fret, though.  It is her nature to do so.  She frets about absolutely everything these days. 

I am $75 dollars richer this evening as we speak.  I earned every damn penny of it.  That was one physically taxing job.  I am glad it is finished!  It came up a cloud at one point as my grandmother would always say and I sat in my car listening to NPR until it passed.  You could see the sun while it was raining and my grandmother would always say the devil was beating his wife with a frying pan.  One nice thing about the rain was that it really cooled the temperatures off as I finished the job late this afternoon. 

The man wants me to come back Sunday to trim the shrubbery on the front and sides of his house for $25.  I told him I had to work all day tomorrow at my regular job and that’s why I couldn’t do it sooner.  I also told him we were going to get his yard in tip top shape if he just keeps paying me good money.  He laughed and offered me a beer.  I laughed as well feeling good about the whole affair.  I couldn’t drink, though, as I was driving.  His lawn needs mowing so I hope he will ask me to do that next. 

Sunset found me in the park which is quickly growing to be one of my favorite places to be in the evenings.  I was glad the days of the nightly medication ritual are finally over.  Maggie will miss dad’s visits, though. She loves him dearly and so do I. Dad will never just come over to my house to visit with me like mom will, though.  I have to go see him.  Dad always made me a nervous wreck every night during that medication ritual. That’s one less bit of anxiety I have to deal with at the end of the day. 

The late evening cicadas were singing and it made feel lonely for some strange reason tonight. I am usually enthralled by their singing.  I’ve really been longing for a companion this week feeling eligible for the first time in years.  I eventually would like to get married again and possibly have kids.  That would have never ever happened if I stayed on my previous course in life.  Who wants to marry a guy who can’t even support himself or make basic decisions about his life?  I find myself thinking of what would make me enticing to a mate.  A nice home.  A good car.  Decent looks.  A job.  Money.  Sanity.  All pieces to a puzzle I am slowly putting together. 

A couple of black boys were playing basketball on the court and talking jovially.  One kept bragging that he could shoot better than the other and the other protested vehemently.  I smiled as I listened to their banter and drank the single solitary Steel Reserve, my sunset brew, I bought tonight at the convenience store.  I bought only one as a concession to my blog readers and friends who care. I am really not an alcoholic and can drink one or two beers and be satisfied.   I no longer feel the pain and anguish these days that stirred me to drink with wanton abandon all those years ago.