Sunday, September 27, 2009

Put Four Letters Together and You Can Offend Somebody...

I will never forget the first time I said God's name in vain.  I was in second grade and was using the bathroom.  I accidentally peed on my pants and uttered goddamnit.  I froze in fear.  I thought God was going to strike me down that very moment.  The rest of the day I worried and fretted.  What bad omen would appear?  That's a terrible thing for a child to have to go through. 

Growing up, my father and Charlie always cussed like sailors.  I can distinctly remember my father on a ladder as he painted a ceiling in our house.  Charlie was painting some door trim right under him. 

"Goddamnit!" Charlie exclaimed to dad. "You just got paint all over my shirt."

"Daddy?" I said innocently as I stood in the doorway. "Charlie's going to go to hell."

I can remember it as if it happened yesterday.

"No he's not," dad replied, consoling me. "Grown people can cuss. Don't you worry about that."

I can remember thinking of the years I would have to wait before I could use certain words without spending eternity in damnation.  I still cringe today when I write God's name in vain on my blog or utter it in anger or exasperation.    

3 comments:

(M)ary said...

I'll never forget my mother yelling at me when I was a kid using a bad word. She screamed:

"Quit your god damn cussing!"

No kidding.

mitch said...

Dude you look like a serial killer. It's ballsey put your picture up here.Peace

forsythia said...

Yesterday, while lifting a bag of canned goods from the basket near the altar to take to our local pantry, I banged my head on the lectern. Glad I was able to stifle the automatic "goddammit"--the front pews were full of young kids who were being trained to serve as crucifers and acolytes.