- Today, Monday, marks the start of my fifth week of work. Isn’t that just amazing? Even I have surprised myself, and I still love my job. I love the simplicity of it. I have no stress whatsoever other than pleasing my supervisor and keeping her happy.
Purging of Another Kind?
- I weighed myself yesterday and I weigh exactly 180 pounds. I am 6’3”. Kim and I walked at seven yesterday morning, but we only made it a half a mile before she was out of breath and tired. She went home and I continued on to walk for 7 more miles. From my house and around that old cotton mill is six miles and I walked even further. Am I substituting exercise for purging? I overdid it and am so sore this morning. The urge to walk a long walk tonight is there. I want to get down to 170 or 160 pounds. I still have a little fat around the edges. I want to be super slim.
No Cokes for You!
- Dad pissed me off last night when I asked for six extra “free” cokes. “I can only afford to give you six a day,” he said. “You drink too many.” “Fine,” I said. “I will just go buy my own. You forget I have an income now.” He means well, but he swears I get high off the caffeine and worries about it. That need to control me is still there. I was just being cheap and mom always keeps several cases of diet Cokes in the basement for me at the ready. I am just glad I am working now. The edge is not so biting anymore. The irony is that mom will buy me four 2-liters of diet Coke with my groceries today. Wasn’t that all just so silly?
New Job for Sis…
- My sister took a new job as head of oncology at a local hospital. Dad says she’s been a nervous wreck with all the responsibility. They bought a extremely nice new house on a lake and moved nearby. Dad is just overjoyed at being able to see his grandkids on a regular basis now. I am happy for him on those regards.
No More Risperdal Consta…
- Tomorrow marks the first time in six years that I will not get my injection of my antipsychotic. It was always so demeaning to me to have to bear my ass to a nurse to get injected. My medication level will drop from 6mg to 3mg a day tomorrow. I hope things go fine and I don’t have any mental illness symptoms. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I see my psychiatrist Wednesday and I hope to adjust the levels further. My doctor is worried about withdrawal so we have to be careful. At one point, I was taking over 8mg per day for years.
A Slow Night…
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Kim and I didn’t do much last night – mostly lying about my house browsing the Internet with our laptops. She was using my laptop and asked, “What kind of operating system is this? It is weird.” “I am running Linux on my laptop,” I replied. “It is old and needs a simple operating system.” She actually ended up liking it after using it a few hours. I love Kim’s laptop. It is cutting edge with a very wide and big screen. It is a heavy “desktop replacement” model. It was her Christmas present from her mother last year.
Monday, August 02, 2010
Am I Substituting Exercise for Purging?
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7 comments:
It's probably not necessary for you to tell your dad "fine I can just buy them myself". If you want to buy them just by them. 6 a day is a lot and probably not all that good for you. 12 a day is worse. If you are worried about replacing one addiction with another that may be a place to look at. How about 6 waters instead? Like pipe says, everything in moderation.
I am glad your sister has moved nearby, I know your father must enjoy that. I am like you and prefer a stress free job, but to each his own I guess. Have a happy Monday.
The weight thing might be a concern so far as the lawn care business goes. You really need to stay healthy to keep that up and running well. And when winter comes, you're going to need a little meat on your bones just to keep warm at work!
Having your sister close may be a blessing. Dad will have something else to keep him busy besides watching your every move!
It's another wonderful day . . smile and enjoy every minute of it!
Grannie
I have to say ditto to justLacey. You might want to taper off on drinking all those Cokes. They aren't good for you, the artificial sweetener is really bad for your brain and one other ingredient (the name slips my memory, too many diet Cokes) is really bad for your bones. Replace the Cokes with water, gradually, of course, just don't go cold turkey with the Cokes. Yep, just remember what Pipe said, moderation, my friend, moderation.
Okay, a word to the wise (that is you). How can I say this diplomatically? You might not want to just drop your weight so easily, it will really discourage Kim. Believe me, I know! Keep walking, a half mile until she can do it with easy, then add one block to the distance. Gradually up the distance and encourage her about her eating right. I can assure you it is difficult for her right now, just getting starting on a walking routine and trying to drop some weight, then you just lose all sorts of weight with what appears to be little or no effort. We women are complicated like that, you know. LOL
Next time your dad says something like he did about the Cokes, just say, "okay" and no other comment. Don't remind him you now can buy some thing on your own, because he might get the wild idea to stop buying the Cokes all together and you certainly don't want that to happen. Just saying.
I'm a firm believer in getting off as many meds (Rx and OTC) as possible. Looks like you are headed in that direction. That new doctor was such a great move on your part. Way to go!
Wow, six miles??!? I'm still puffing away at a half a mile. But my body goes on strike so I'm having to build up a tolerance to exercise. I know how Kim feels. :p
I know that for some people excessive exercising is purge, but sounds to me in your case you're just a pretty active guy with mowing the lawns and walking.
Congratulations on not having to get a needle in the butt!
Tee is wise. Her advice is perfect.
I support you in your reducing of medications. Did you lead your doctors on that one? I know I did. I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia several times over a three year period. The hospital doc treated me as non-compliant when I even questioned the dopamine hypothesis (as many many well-informed doctors have over the years)... my current psychiatrist wanted to keep shoving me into a diagnosis of manic-depression. I had to be a good patient for a lot longer than I wanted to be... and finally had to bring my husband in, in order to have doctor's willingness to allow me to try full weaning. Oh my gosh, every other time I wanted to wean, my doc would accuse me of being manic. That is why I had to bring my husband in to share that he had never seen me manic, so we could finally strike the label from my chart. Arrgggh. I find psychiatry to be so dogmatic. Worse, I want to ask these docs: If you had this illness, would you accept the side effects and say, "Yes, these medications are good enough for me?"
I am 6 feet and weigh 175. I am trim but not emaciated. I would think that at your height, your weight is good. I work out quite a bit which has built up some muscles.
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