My First Full Day of Work in Over Eight Years…

• Disaster Almost Struck…

  I woke up at three and couldn’t get back to sleep – excited for what the day may bring.  I took my shower, ironed my khaki pants, cooked some fried eggs, and prepared a lunch of two roasted turkey and pepperjack cheese sandwiches as I listened to this morning’s milquetoast rendition of Coast to Coast AM. Today was going to be a watermark in my life – a milepost if you will.  I then put on my clothes to drive down to the convenience store to buy some Gatorade for the day.  I couldn’t find my car key and just panicked.  In my family, we have what we call the key disease where we lose our keys easily.  Until my car was stolen Christmas day a few years ago, I never took the key out of my car and never locked my house. This key disease afflicts my father, brother, and I. I have learned to keep all my keys separate for this reason – never to keep my house key, mom and dad’s house key, and my car key together.  I scoured the house looking for that key.  It was almost 30 minutes until time to be at work when I looked in the pocket of my shorts that were in my washing machine which I use as my laundry hamper when I am not washing clothes.  Found it! I sighed with relief.  I thought I was going to have to ride my bike to work and be late on my very first day of fulltime work in eight years. I am going tomorrow to get some extra copies made of all my keys as I only have one of each. 

• My Dogs are Tired…

  I realized I am not used to standing up and walking for eight hours straight without many breaks.  I did take a thirty minute break to eat my sandwiches. One quick moment was spent in a bathroom stall sitting on a toilet as I texted Stacey a silly message under the guise that I was using the bathroom. The hilarious message I got back made me burst out laughing. My supervisor frowns upon my tendency to put an old milk crate outside to sit upon when I get tired.  This is going to take some getting used to.  My feet were just killing me when I got off of work and my back was hurting something fierce from standing up for eight hours.  This will ease up over time I am sure.  I couldn’t wait to get home and sit down in my extremely comfortable Laz-E-Boy recliner, though.  I had one task to do before retiring for the day – my day of work done except for some car troubles.

• More Car Woes…

  The brake light came on again in my car and stayed on this time driving to work this morning.  I swung by West Point Tire after work and they hooked my car up to their diagnostic computer.  “It’s the fluid level sensor on your master cylinder,” the mechanic told me. “It is going bad.  Do you want me to replace it?” “How much would that cost?” I asked. “About $150 dollars,” he said.  “I will get back to you,” I replied.  I drove to AutoZone and they had the part in stock for $40 dollars.  I am going to install it this afternoon and hope that solves the problem.  I also bought several bottles of Honda grade brake fluid and I am going to bleed my brakes – brake fluid being very hydroscopic and the fluid in my car is probably the original brake fluid that came with the car new in 2001.

• My Thoughts on Working my First Full Day?

  I am going to be able to make it I think.  I did very well for my first day despite the oppressive heat by around ten. I had to drink lots of fluids. I am very tired, but this will get easier with every day I hope as I get used to working fulltime again.  I put four Klonopin in my pocket this morning for work and only had to take one a few hours before I got off – feeling a little bit of anxiety from being very tired.  It was so comforting to know those Klonopin were there if I needed them, though.  They can be my crutch.  My supervisor was just overjoyed that I am going to be working fulltime from now on – lavishing me with praise and encouragement.  “You don’t know what this means to me,” she told me at one point. “It is like this great weight off my shoulders as I can rely on you!”  I blushed many times today from all the attention I received from her.  My main goal is to be independent and fully self supporting within 9 months to a year.  Working fulltime will go a long way towards this goal.  

• On the Lawn Care Front…

  I mowed four lawns yesterday and felt so accomplished from my efforts.  The money was nice, too, going into my savings account.  Mowing lawns is so cathartic for me.  I daydream extensively as I circle the yards cutting the grass.  I have so many goals and plans for the future and it excites me as I make long circles around the yards as I think about them.  I feel so empowered these days.  My elderly lady customer who lives the block over from me wants me to come back in a day or two and trim her shrubbery back.  It badly needs it, looking wild.  I told her I would be over tomorrow when I got off of work.  My Benefactor wants me to do some painting inside his house, but I am unsure about that.  I haven’t done much painting in my lifetime and I don’t want to do him a bad job.  How hard can it be though?  He told me he would pay me well.  It is tempting, but it is going to be a big and time consuming job.  With me working fulltime now, I am not sure I can handle it.  He told me to mull it over for a few days and I will.  He could tell I was apprehensive about doing it.  Sometimes, I think my Benefactor just pays me to have someone around doing something who he can talk to.  I think he gets lonely. 

• Socks at a Pharmacy?

  I hadn’t been home long when mom came by. She had called me on my cellphone to make sure I was there. She has an uncanny knack to know when I am about out of certain things.  She brought me a care package of Solo cups, razor blades, shaving cream, shampoo, soap, and socks?  Dad is actually selling Auburn Tiger themed ankle socks at the pharmacy now.  “I thought you may need them,” mom said enthusiastically when I remarked about the oddity of a pharmacy selling socks other than those socks sold for diabetics.  I did need them as I haven’t bought socks in over a year and many pairs I own now were getting holes in them.  I thanked mom and she went on her way to get her hair done as she does every Wednesday. She also told me she was going to go buy me some more various flavors of Crystal Light after her hair appointment when she asked and I told her I was almost out. 

• Stacey’s Thoughts on Me Working Fulltime…

  She was very excited telling me to jump on the opportunity when I told her I would be working fulltime.  “This will get you out from under the thumb of you father!” she told me excitedly last night.  “I am so proud of you baby!”  Hearing her say that meant the world to me.  I want her to be very proud of me and to know I could support us if we ever took our relationship to another level and she needed me.  “What are you going to do with all that extra money?” she also asked me looking excited.  “I am going to try and save as much as I can while I am in the trial work period,” I told her.  “My disability money will pay for most of my basic needs for nine months giving me the opportunity to save and save.  I don’t want to ever be financially dependent upon my parents again!”  Stacey echoed my thoughts that it is important for a man to be independent and self supporting – to be able to earn a living.  I was so tired of the demeaning dependent living situation I was in for eight long years. 

• Sleeping Habits Need Improvement…

  I’ve been sleeping for about five and half hours every night before work, but I only worked four hours previously.  I would come home and take a long nap and feel fine for the rest of the day.  Today, I got so sleepy at work missing my usual nap. I was miserable I was so sleepy when 10am rolled around! I know I looked dopey as I brought the carts in.  Somehow, I am going to have to start going to bed much earlier to get a full eight hours of sleep to be able to work fulltime.  I thought about taking a Tylenol PM around seven or eight, but they have Benadryl in them as the sleeping ingredient and Benadryl and I just don’t do very well together – me having past issues of abusing it – you can get quite high feeling off of six Benadryl.  I am going to have to make myself stay up today hoping I will go to bed earlier.  I now know what Annabel, who writes my favorite blog, is experiencing with her sleeping habits these days.  I feel her pain.  I so want to go get in the bed right now and sleep for about three or four hours!