Change is Afoot…

3mg of Joy Remain (sarcasm)…

• Well, my doctor decided to continue to keep me on 3mg of Risperdal after my withdrawal episode yesterday.  I was hoping we would cut it down to 2mg or 1mg because of the side effects which are primarily fatigue and tiredness.  We did cut my Klonopin down to .5mg at night instead of 2mg per day.  My doctor was very pleased that I agreed to do this despite my history with severe anxiety and addiction.  We continued with the Paxil as planned as we both believe that has worked wonders for my social anxiety and the depression I seem to suffer from time to time.  I am just overjoyed to have a psychiatrist that listens to my needs and wants me to be happy instead of pleasing my father and making him happy. My goal is to be medication free at some point in my life in the next year.

The Pompous Blowhard…

• That’s what Stacey calls her supervisor at work.  I will smile as she goes on and on about her in one of her many after work rants.  “It’s not funny,” she will say after a pout.  “Yes, it is!” I will reply with a laugh, getting in trouble. “You sound just like my ex-wife and her many library jobs.”  Comparing Stacey to Rachel always gets me in deep doo doo.  But I can’t resist.  I love how feisty she gets when she rants about her supervisor.  It is kind of sexy in a way.

Me?  I Love my Supervisor…

• She’s just glad to have someone steady, regular, and who works hard to do the job.  I am not kidding when I say she has the hardest time keeping the second shift filled.  Quentin has already left getting a job at a fast food joint.  He didn’t work but a few weeks not liking the heat, the hours, or the pay.   My supervisor’s only beef with me is my smoking.  I have an inclination to smoke too much and too often when I should be pulling in the carts during busy moments.  When I get caught up and am wandering the store or visiting electronics, then it doesn’t matter.  I love her, though.  She’s a sweet lady.  She has been so kind to me and brags about me to her other supervisor friends.  “I am lucky to have him,” I heard her tell another supervisor the other day as she smiled at me.  It makes me feel like a million dollars. 

My Father is Strange…

• Dad has a young 22 year old man working for him named Matt,  Well, Matt decided to quit smoking and dad says this is what is affecting his job performance.  He hasn’t been doing a good job lately and one of dad’s co-pharmacists had to get on to him.  “Ah, smoke you some cigarettes,” dad told him last night taking him to buy a pack. “Fuck all the women you want when you are young and drink plenty of beer.  You get old eventually and can’t do all that anymore.”  “What about me?” I thought.  For years, dad was happy when I wasn’t having sex or drinking, and wanted me to quit smoking because of the costs which he pays for willingly.   My father is strange.  I just don’t get him sometimes. 

I Hope Not a Halfway House…

• George wrote today that his cellmate is saying he is going to have to live in a halfway house for up to a year when he gets out.  George is aghast at the thought from his writings.  “It would be just another form of prison,” he wrote this morning.  I wrote back that I didn’t think he would have to do that for a Felony fleeing arrest charge and a Felony DUI.  George said not to tell his mother so as not to worry her and I will not.  I am just going to keep hoping for the best as a September 9th parole board hearing so soon was almost too miraculous to believe.  The best news I have heard on the George front in many months.  Mrs. Florene and I have so much hope that he will be home soon.