Wheeling and Dealing…
I have always had an affinity for Boston Terriers ever since my ex-wife got one when we were married. I’ve been in email contact with this local lady about a Boston Terrier puppy that is AKC registered. She emailed me last night saying the puppies are weaned and on dry food. She wants me to meet her at The Landing today on the backwaters with $250 dollars cash in hand. She wanted $300, but I talked her down some as the puppy will need to be spayed with all her shots administered. I am so excited about this and so is Stacey. We are going to have a new addition to the family. This has been going on for about a couple of weeks. I just haven’t wrote about it not wanting to get my and everyone’s hopes up. You all will have to help me think of a good name. The puppy is a female. Mom traditionally names all our dogs so I will ask mom for a good name as well.
Miffed…
Charlie came by again last night to see Maggie and I. Horsefly was with him and immediately went into my bathroom to begin flushing the toilet over and over. They are always interesting company. It is certainly interesting when one of your best friend’s sons comes over to fixate on your toilet.
“Your cousins are in town to see your brother,” Charlie said. “It is busy over at your mom and dad’s house. All the bedrooms are full. They went out to eat tonight at Good Ole Boys in Auburn tonight.”
I was kind of miffed. I am never included in family functions. Nobody called me and told me my cousins were in town from Florida and nobody invited me and Stacey out to eat with them. My feelings were deeply hurt.
“I’ve just been forgotten about by my family,” I told Charlie looking forlorn.
“Well, they’ve forgotten about me as well,” Charlie said with a weak laugh trying to make me feel better. “Your father is just preoccupied with his grandchildren. He doesn’t get to see them but a few times a year.”
Charlie also said he is taking the day off today to have a cookout for the whole crew.
“I will bring you and Stacey a ribeye, barbeque bread, and baked potato plate tomorrow night,” he told me.
I wasn’t invited to the cookout as well and was miffed again. Are they embarrassed of me? The son who works handling carts at Walmart with a overweight girlfriend with tattoos? I don’t know, but it irks me. My family is well known for putting on airs as that old Southern saying goes.
A Quiet Night In…
After Stacey’s trip to Newnan, we quickly settled back into our usual routines. Stacey brought a pizza from the Deli at work last night and it was delicious. The only problem with pizza I have is I tend to eat too much of it and it may trigger my bulimia. We both settled into the bed to do our usual browsing with our laptops – the dogs joining us, both scratching and carrying on as if they were covered in fleas.
“You would think those two have some kind of skin condition the way they carry on,” I told Stacey as Maggie’s tongue hung out she was scratching so vigorously. It was a bliss moment for Maggie as she had hit a sweet spot.
Stacey laughed and laughed as she looked down at Maggie’s and Sadie’s contorted dealings.
“They’re just being dogs,” she replied.
Stacey spent the night which was nice. I am trying to be quiet so as not to wake her. She stirred some when I got up at 3:30, but was quickly back asleep. I have my headphones connected to my computer and am listening to another lackluster rendition of Coast to Coast AM. They are talking about Iran’s nuclear threat tonight which aggravates me. What happened to all the wonderful paranormal topics that made the program so interesting for decades? I probably won’t listen for long – growing tired of hearing Jerry Corso go on and on about a threat that is non-existent. Coast to Coast has gotten too mainstream for my tastes. I can just watch CNN for this kind of fare.
Taking Care of Business…
I have two lawns to mow this morning. Both people called me yesterday after having picked up one of my business cards at dad’s pharmacy. I was so excited to get the calls. I plan on getting started early before the heat of the day hits and it begins to rain. We have a fifty percent chance of thunderstorms for the afternoon which will also thrill me to death. The $50 dollars I will make this morning will make up for the dozen roses I sent Stacey Monday. I am really enjoying this extra income my side job affords me.
Day 3 with Only One Pill to Take…
Today marks day three without my antipsychotic. I feel better and better everyday. The only symptom I was having last night was a little bit of mania – my mind racing and feeling overly busy. Stacey said I was acting hyper and that I was talking a lot. I just chalk this up to withdrawal – my mind feeling calm and serene this morning after a good night’s sleep. It is so novel to just get in my Lazy-E-Boy and relax. I realized this morning that I couldn't sit still for years – always having to be up and pacing the floor. I once had a man contact me through the blog who was on a lot of antipsychotics that said he suffered from the same predicament. He was constantly pacing the floor as he watched television and movies. I am now down to taking only one pill at night and that is my Paxil for social anxiety. I have found my social anxiety gets less and less with each week that passes. I actually think this has more to do with my self esteem being so bolstered lately more so than just that pill. It will be interesting for the next few weeks as I am weaned out of the psychiatric system – soon to quit taking the Paxil as well. I have become so cynical about psychiatry and all the medications involved after all the hell I have been through over the years being caught in the system with all those medications forced upon me by my father. I felt absolutely terrible and horrible for years over medicated.
22 comments:
I am excited about your puppy. Bostons always remind me of miniature boxers and you know I love boxers! Can't wait to hear all about her.I think you have a right to be a little miffed, but your family has not spent much time around the new Andrew. You have to remember that you always opted out of family functions. I am sure they just don't realize how much better you are and I feel you should take this opportunity to let them see. People don't always know what you are feeling if you don't speak up, so speak up.
Yep, I agree with the comment above...maybe they just don't know that you want to be included. I know how much it must hurt you and perhaps if you speak with your father about it when the time is right..
Andrew, I haven't commented here in ages, but I always read. I have been with you for years...and I must say, you are awesome. I am as proud as a mother. You keep on using that great head of yours, you will be just fine.
Lots of hugs. Jamie :)
It will be nice to see some puppy pictures.
I don't know how I would feel about the family function. It might be a good thing to not have gone. Generally, I want to be invited and then when the time comes, I can be sorry that I accepted. If it really bothers you, then talk to your parents and tell them your feelings. Remember that feelings aren't facts.
I know how you feel about the family function, it's happened to me and my heart hurts for you.
About Charlie's BBQ...why don't you and Stacey just crash the thing? It has happened to me before, as well, so i know how you feel. It sucks!
best,
mark :-)
You need to speak to your mom and dad about not being included in the family activity. Let them know you are doing so much better and not suffering from the social anxiety any longer.
Call Charlie and tell him you and Stacey would like to be included. I'm sure he would gladly offer you an invitation to attend his little party. Then watch the surprised look on your family's faces. :-)
You aren't JUST the cart guy at Wal-Mart. You are a valuable employee. Just last night my husband went to Kroger and there were NO (zero) carts available for the customers because they were all over the parking lot. He was fuming when he got home. On top of that the management didn't care.
Set your goals high, there are other positions available at Wal-Mart, keep an eye on the bulletin board where they post positions that are opening, you could end up being the store manager one day. Who would be laughing then?
I agree with the others. Let you family know you would like to be included now.
A name for the new puppy - how about Meg.
Goes good with Maggie.
YOu cant just stop paxil cold turkey , you will have a reaction, so be careful....talk to your dr. before you stop all meds..sorry if I sound bossy..
Congrats on your new addition. I hope Maggie and your new one become best of friends (like my 2 doggies are).
As for being left out of the dinner - old habits die hard. They are so used to your social anxieties that it probably didn't occur to them that you are now well enough to join them. You will need to remind them for a while.
You're doing so well!
I agree with everyone else, your family might just assume you don't want to be invited. I'm guessing they don't realize how much better your social anxiety issues are. Keep being as assertive as you have been lately and verbalize what you want in a clear and concise manner. Eventually things will change as they see your progress. And always remember - you're doing an honest day's work for an honest wage. That's something to be proud of!
I'm so sad that your family hurt you by not including them in your plans. Maybe when you talk to your father about your changes, you could mention that you would like to be included in family functions. Maybe you could reassure him that you are aware of your issues and if you are not 100% that day because of fatigue or other issues, that you will gently bow out.
Geeze, you are doing well. I am tickled to share your new life with you. Congrats on the puppy!
Jan in PA
Wish you had looked for a rescue instead of spending your money.Either way I am happy for you.Hope Maggie likes to share.
Charlie knew how hurt you were over no invite so how the hell did he turn around and do the very same thing?I think you and Stacy should go if you want to.Every family has a black sheep,I am one.Doesn't mean we want to go to the family crap(ususally makes me uncomfortable)but we do want to be invited!
I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Billie
I also agree with the above. Tell your parents either together or one at a time that your feelings are hurt.
Best to get those things out in the open.
A puppy! How awesome! What a great idea. I wish I could have one, my job and travel requirements won't allow. I have a cat and an adopted squirrel.
Pets are great company and they love you regardless.
Looking forward to pictures!
How about Kimmey for your puppy name after the screen name you gave Stacy?
at one time you hated social situations and being around people, so maybe your dad doesnt realize that you feel differently now...I would definetly talk to him and let him know you would like to be included, then see if he starts inviting you to family and friend get togethers...
It's probably going to take some time for your family to get used to you being better. You've been the sick one for so long. Talk to them about it.
Great news about the puppy! Maggie will be thrilled to bits. I'll have to see a picture before I can think of a name.
I was at walmart today and thought of you. :)
Yes, I agree, why can't you crash the bbq?? LOL.
PUPPY NAME!!
I think it should have something to do with freedom, independence, new beginnings - - -
Something significant to what's going on in your life right now.
Sanity was the first thing that came to my mind - but I'm not sure that it's a very good puppy name, LOL!
I sure do love all that you have going on right now - - but that other writer was correct. Don't try to quit Paxil cold turkey! A friend tried that and almost ended up killing herself - it can bring on some pretty strange thoughts.
Puppy pictures please!!
Grannie
My, you cover so much territory in a post. I agree with who ever said "Crash the BBQ"! Esp after Horsefly's birthday, I'm sure Charlie meant to invite you! Second, you are my hero! Weaning yourself off all psych meds. Unfortunately, I have tried it without the positive results you have had. As for the puppy, post PICS!!
If she is AKC, check her papers and see what members of her lineage were named. I have a cocker spaniel with a mother named Cookie Girl which is so cute I would have liked to name him something related like Snickerdoodle or something.
I've got a Boston Terrier... I call him the Boston Terrorist
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