Thursday, April 07, 2005

The dinner fork from hell……

I was driving home from work this afternoon and saw my mother stranded on the side of the road in downtown West Point, Georgia. She was standing next to the car looking perplexed. This is a brand new car with just 100 miles on the odometer. I quickly pulled in and noticed she had a flat tire.

“Well, I was riding along and heard a loud thump and pulled over. It sounded like something fell off the car.” She said.

“You have a flat tire, mom.” I said as I pointed to the offending corner.

“Oh, I am so glad you happened to come by. I have never changed a tire.” She said looking grateful.

“No problem. Let me get it changed.” I replied.

I proceeded to change the tire. The jack on this new Honda Civic must have been designed by monkeys. It was that hard to use. I pulled off the flat tire and what did I see? A freaking dinner fork was stuck in the tire. This was the same kind of fork you eat with. How in the hell did a dinner fork get thrown out on the main street in downtown West Point, Georgia? Was someone eating supper in their vehicle and just decided, “Hey, fuck this fork. Let’s throw it out.” That was just totally weird. Only my mother would have that kind of luck.

After changing the tire, I was soaking wet with sweat from my exertions. Today was a warm day. I just wanted to go home and take a shower. Folks, don’t throw out stainless steel forks on the highway! It causes serious amounts of exertion and inconvenience! lol

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