Tonight was warm. (23 degrees Celsius) I sat on the porch drinking a cup of strong black coffee, smoking my pipe, and looking at the stars on a clear night. The neighbor’s dog barked intermittently but all else was still and quiet. I surveyed the constellations and felt a certain kinship with them. Last winter when I was living in the woods I could tell how soon dawn approached by the position of the stars overhead. I would poke my head out of my tent still wrapped in my sleeping bag to smoke a cigarette and could look up through the puffs of my breath on a cold evening and see how late or early it was by the nighttime sky. Nature had become my timepiece.
I sometimes miss those days as all was very simple then. Life consisted of a very few motivators. Sleep was one. Hunger another. And don’t let me forget pleasure. I tend to romanticize those harsh moments of last winter as I feel it sometimes defines me as a man. It helped mold me into the person I am now. Whenever I feel a pity party coming on I reflect back on those days and my spirits are lifted. I also feel a certain pride for being so resourceful despite the odds and surviving it. There is no obstacle I cannot overcome after surviving such deep despair and isolation.
Okay, enough of my rambling about times past. I will bring things back to the present. School went well today and I am growing more confident. My great aunt is staying with me tonight and she is asleep upstairs. I have to take her in the morning to get blood work done at the hospital and then go get my bi-weekly risperidone injection. After my injection, I have class and then work. Tomorrow will be busy but I look forward to it. I have had my share of idle time and am glad to be rid of it. (These words will come back to haunt me soon I suppose.)
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